Andròn: The Black Labyrinth

I don't know if this is the absolute worst movie that I've ever seen but it is certainly a contender. Believe me, it's not a movie that's so bad that it's good . . it's just BAD.

It's a vampire that sucks up an hour and forty minutes of your time that could have been spent on something more entertaining, like hammering No.2 pencils into your corneas.

This movie does not suspend disbelief, it celebrates it. My impression was that everyone involved just wanted to get the thing in the "done" column so they could go do something (anything) else.

It seems that no effort was spent on trying to immerse the viewer so it was torture seeing it through to the end as a detached observer rather than being drawn in to a subjective, personal experience. They just didn't make me care a bit about any of the characters', it would have been more interesting and more dramatic watching insects fly around one of those bug zappers.

The only award this stinker deserves is a felony conviction for impersonating entertainment.

Ten people awake in a maze that's really crappy looking, with no memory of who they are and only one of them is allowed to get out of the maze alive.

The game concept works. Each player has a symbol tattooed on their neck that matches a symbol on a wall to get a cool weapon. Most players got simple guns while other got some really cool stuff straight out of a video game (like one guy got a really cool Mega Man like weapon). Once in a while they battle androids robots that look like ninjas, as well as fighting each other until their numbers dwindled down.

As a film the story was just too weak to care about anything that's going on.

Alec Baldwin appears in the movie. His character is pointless and seems to be created just to have Alec Baldwin in your movie in hopes that his star power will fill seats. The same goes with Danny Glover's cameo like role in the movie.

I actually went to see the movie because Leo Howard was in it. I'm aware of the young actor from his marshal arts driven Disney TV show, Kickin it. The movie does have him do some kicks and punches but not enough to salvage the flick.

But really, Andron has a bad story arc and messes up the game they play and leaves you with nothing overall.

This movie is unbearable bad.

Bad acting is cloaked with a story of such stupidity that it is only matched by its complexity. Nearly not bearable and completely useless. No Message, just fragments of mismatching story parts combined with brain dead violence.

If - after watching this movie - I'd been asked for a plot, I'd honestly have to say: "Sorry, no clue. But there's dramatic music, minor special effects and some violence"

An absolute need not see.

Let's hope the don't waste any money for a sequel.

My quick rating - 3,2/10. Well, not the WORST movie I have ever seen, but pretty awful. A group of really bad actors I mean, slaves, are put in some dungeon and must fight there way out.They call it a maze yet always seem to know where things are. Anyway, the group faces a madman (Alec Baldwin, who must've lost a bet and dragged Danny Glover into this mess) that is trying to eliminate their spirit for a game show? I think I have it right. Hard to tell but for some reason the "bad guys" who can shoot lightning from their hands and morph their bodies tend to resort to fist fighting for no apparent reason. Of course, a couple of the detainees are poor martial artists, but that goes without saying (or they are good martial artists who are choreographed so poorly that their sensai will be furious this was ever filmed). I really don't know if their is much redeeming about this movie and if I didn't use gut instinct on my rating, reflecting as I type this, I almost want to knock it down even lower. Don't bother since there are plenty of decent to good movies out there waiting for you.

I'm sure I won't be the only person asking the question whether Alec Baldwin and Danny Glover really needed a paycheck that badly to be in this catastrophe of a movie? After selecting it from Redbox, I came home and saw the 2.8 rating on IMDb and knew I was in big trouble.

I could go on and on writing how on so many levels this film is abysmal. Let's just say I found the "plot" to be a convoluted mess, the emotionless acting left me uncaring about any of the characters, and I would have turned it off much earlier but I stuck it out, I imagine, to write this review.

All in all, just a very painful hour and a half.