Shark Killer

In the mid-70s, I want to see Jaws -and it scarred me for life. It took decades before I could swim in deep water without panicking. As a result, I hate sharks.

So it has to be a pretty abysmal film for me to want the shark to win. Congratulations Shark Killer.

The lead actor has one thing going for him - he looks good. His acting is lumpen but things are made worse by the appalling dialogue. The lead actress has a single role in the film : to be saved. Several times. By our "hero". This naturally makes her hatred change into love. Because women are (according to this film) that shallow.

The only reasonable this film gets anything but the lowest score, is that the scenery is very pretty. But that doesn't stop the essential stupidity of this film.

Oh, and if you ever wondered how to kill a shark? Just dive in and stab it with a knife. Or a stick.

Right, well I sat down to watch the 2015 movie "Shark Killer" without having read the movie's synopsis. So I blindly believed that this movie was going to be a movie with sharks being the focal point of the storyline.

Oh, how mistaken I was. This movie was not about sharks, but instead about people chasing after a shark to cut out a rare diamond from its belly. So I was sorely disappointed with this movie, as I had expected and hoped for a shark creature feature.

While the movie wasn't at all what I had expected, it should be said that the movie actually wasn't all that bad. It was watchable and semi-entertaining actually. Well, while it wasn't an outstanding movie, it made for adequate entertainment for a single viewing.

"Shark Killer" has the likes of Derek Theler, Erica Cerra and Arnold Vosloo on the cast list, so it wasn't actually all bad in terms of casted performers.

Visually then "Shark Killer" wasn't a particularly impressive movie. There were a few odd shark segments here and there, but nothing in the likes of movies such as "Jaws", "The Meg", "Deep Blue Sea", and such.

"Shark Killer" turned out to be a cheesy movie actually, but still watchable. I am rating it a four out of ten stars. Watchable, yes, but disappointingly not a movie about sharks as the main focus.

I would be plainly concerned if any viewer DIDN'T approach this movie with deep, piercing doubt. As well done as the stylized opening credits are, they don't inspire confidence, nor do a light tone from the outset, and extraordinarily direct dialogue and storytelling. It's not that a flick unabashedly called 'Shark killer' can't have real worth, but it's safe to say that one is all too accustomed to seeing pure schlock pollute our screens, and this readily seems to fit in with the same tawdry company. In fairness, regardless of any genre labels that one may append, it's clearly built as a pure romp. We get action, we get thriller vibes, and whether in some of the aesthetics on hand, the suggested violence, or - if we're really stretching the terminology - in its "creature feature" nature, there is maybe even a smidgen of "horror" on hand. Yet all these descriptors almost feel too charged for the generally light tenor this broadly maintains; as if to emphasize the point, protagonist Chase is written as some random white guy who also has significant fighting skills, is gifted with swift wit, and wantonly womanizes - the seaside blue collar equivalent of James Bond, frankly. Suffice to say that this isn't exactly a riveting, white-knuckle must-see. But you know what, 'Shark killer' knows what it is, and doesn't pretend otherwise, and it's not half bad, really.

The least that can be said is that the production was approached more earnestly than we have grown to assume of creature features in the twenty-first century; fare from the likes of The Asylum, and/or SyFy, have greatly lowered our expectations. It's definitely not that this is free of the same issues: the music is more kitschy than meaningful (though some themes are terrific); the inevitable romance is so tiresome as to be actively aggravating; the dialogue and storytelling remain very direct, and the plot is heavily predictable; actors of real skill (Arnold Vosloo, Erica Cerra) are forced into small corners; and so on. There's no mistaking the company this keeps. Still, the digital creations are less transparent, the cinematography is solid and the direction is technically sound, and it's readily apparent that more sincere care went into 'Shark killer' than can be said for a preponderance of its nearest kin. Excepting perhaps the most ham-fisted facets, one can imagine how the picture would look if it were produced as a major studio thriller rather than a mid- or low-grade lark. The effects (practical and post-production) are better than in comparable projects, and the stunts, and in every capacity it looks and sounds better - and more professional - than we would anticipate.

By all means, there were ways that this easily could have been improved upon depending on the flavors one wished to accentuate. It could been more strictly action-oriented (think 'The transporter'), or comedic (an action-comedy like 'Rush hour'); there was potential for a more honest thriller, and even more substantial horror (make Nix and his henchman more violent, and/or amplify the marine massacre, etc). Nevertheless, even if only at a mid-range level, 'Shark killer' is actually reasonably well made. It's reasonably enjoyable, even for all its faults, and some moments are unexpectedly shrewd (e.g., a passing ableist line is pointedly latched upon and tossed back at the offending characters in a subsequent scene). Everyone was here just to have a good time (and earn a paycheck), and along the way, they put in sufficient effort for the end result to be modestly entertaining. By no means should one prioritize this or go out of their way to see it; save it for something light on a lazy day, if you're going to watch it at all. It has its shortcomings. It remains decent enough, though, and sometimes that's all a flick needs to be.

Now I know I probably shouldn't say this, but I did rather enjoy "Shark Killer". I am sure that was almost entirely down to the eye-candy Derek Theler's quite tongue in cheek effort as local Lothario "Chase" who pretty much charms and sleeps his way through life! One morning he is summoned to his hoodlum stepbrother's home where he is given a challenge. Find a black-finned shark that has swallowed a priceless diamond before it's discovered by his nemesis "Nix" (Arnold "Mummy" Vosloo). What we discover quite quickly is that "Chase" is no slouch when it comes to the ninja skills, and that's useful when he and unwilling partner "Jasmine" (Erica Cerra) become the targets of their rather menacing and brutal foe. If you are looking for a silly film about a shark, then you'd be better off watching Tommy Wiseau's "Killer Shark" (2023) nonsense because there is virtually no shark action in this action drama-cum-burgeoning (and predictable) romance. I think there are some South African accents here, but they don't come across consistently enough to be sure - and as far as anything that could be called "acting" is concerned, then maybe we do need to find the shark for that too. Still, Sheldon Wilson uses his key asset - an handsome man - to reasonable effect in this low budget film to deliver something that - try as I might - I just couldn't hate.

This isn't a shark movie, it does have a shark in it, but not very much. So don't let the title or movie 'poster' fool you. It isn't a terrible movie once you accept that it is an organized crime sort of movie instead of a shark attack movie. But it also isn't great.

Derek Theler was great in Baby Daddy and Erica Cerra was really good in Eureka. Arnold Vosloo was amazing in The Mummy movies. It gave me some real hope for this one.

But Theler didn't ever completely gel as a wisecracking action hero (even though I thought he'd be great at that). And Vosloo's scenes went so far over the top that it often felt like the movie was spoofing itself.

There were enjoyable and fun parts to it, but I'm not sure if it came together as a whole.

The 88 minute run time should have felt quick but instead it felt a lot more like two hours.