JohnnyJohnny91

I'd like to first start off by stating that I am an obese gay man, married to a wonderful man, who I'd define as attractive by societal standards. I am happy and confident, both in myself and in my marriage. So after seeing so many hateful comments online about how "things like this would never happen in real life" (ironic, since this line is in the film and also part of the title), but were referring to that a "hot" guy would never be attracted to a fat guy, I felt compelled to go support this film. So my husband and I, and a group of friends bought tickets for the film.

It's important to first inform you that the lead role of the heavy set gay man, is performed by Max Talisman, who also wrote and directed the film. I preface this because for those of you who remember the film The Room, which was written by, directed by and starred Tommy Wiseau, I was constantly reminded of this during the viewing. Yes, the script was baffling, the jokes were cringe, and many of the performances, mostly by Talisman, were laughable. And Talisman's lead character was not only painful to watch on screen due to his shrill voice and high school theatre level acting skills, but he was also confusing to watch because he was written as a very unlikeable person, who is downright nasty to both his friends and strangers. And that's where I'd like to turn your attention to what comes across as unwarranted narcissism from Talisman the director, to which bleeds into the plot and the protagonist. Talisman's main character is unlikeable, rude, and awkward. He does nothing to deserve anyone's affection, and yet at one point in the movie, his love interests calls him charming. I couldn't see it. But the red carpet seems to roll out for Talisman's character throughout this cringe fest of cliche romance movie tropes that we've all seen a million times, and ultimately leads to, I'm not kidding you, a music number... Performed by... Wait for it... MAX TALISMAN. And his performance was equivalent to your drunk friend on karaoke night. The jokes, the cliches, the awkward exchanges, they all resulted in what could only feel like an undeserved narcissistic brag by Talisman, who wanted to show everyone that he could get love, the cute guy, and a musical number. This once again reflects back on Tommy Wiseau, who's narcissism pushed him to create a film, because he believed he could have it all, regardless of whether he earned any of these achievements.

I wanted to support an LGBT movie that was body positive, but this was not it. The fact that Talisman's character kept his shirt on during a love scene, while his "hot" love interest was shirtless only supports my argument that Talisman's supposed confidence in the film is a false narrative. Strangely enough, they also make subtle references to Talismans character having an eating disorder, but then never address it again. There were many unexplained odd moments in this film like this, again reminding me of The Room (if you remember the scenes with the strange flower shop owner, or the mother addressing her cancer and then never referencing it again, this film had similar moments).

I do want to give credit where it's due. Joey Pollari stands out in this film as acting well beyond the shallow script he had to work with. His performance may have just made watching this film survivable.

I'd like to end this review by hoping that this film actually gets more attention, because I believe it has the potential for being a cult classic due to how bad it is. We all laughed throughout the entire film, it even brought me to tears. And in the words of one of the 'best friend' characters: "This is not a dollar store romance novel".... Oh honey, it's on the discount rack.

So let's start off with the good.

This film had some excellent set design, camera work, and the main actress did a great job. The mood that the film gives is very creepy and the ending scene is disturbing.

Now for the bad. The film is completely without any nuance. Every horror movie trope is used here, and that's fine, if you can reuse common tropes and make them original. Unfortunately, there's no originality here and the film just becomes all too familiar. Some of the supporting cast members do very little, but with the script, it's hard to blame them. Overall, this film got some praise for what I'm assuming is it's theme, which I won't get into for spoils. But for those of you who have seen the babadook, just know that this is basically the Hollywood, dumbed down version of that.

First off, the film: Unfortunately the first half felt very uninspired... I'd seen all of this a million times before... It may have worked with a director who was willing to take more risks.... That being said, the second half becomes much more intense and grand scale and I was fully immersed. Overall I'd give it a 7.5....

Buf thanks to Netflix, I'm dropping it to a 6 for its terrible theatrical release... There were random unrelated subtitles plastered on the screen and layered on top of each other... And thanks to that, when there was non English speaking going on, we had no idea what they were saying... When I complained to the theatre staff, they said it was Netflix and they had nothing to do with it... So really impressive, Netflix....