Cabin Fever

Cabin Fever is just another one of those movies where studio executives thought, "Hey, the original was good so why not milk the f*ck out of the name and release heaps of garbage, call them sequels, and the money will come." Now this reboot comes along with the exact same script as the original so I figure the execs were just like, "F*ck it, why even try?" And it shows. The good news is that this isn't a theatrical release - it's limited on-demand or something so thankfully a majority of people won't be aware of this abomination's existence. But for those who are, let me affirm your suspicions: this movie blows.

First off, none of these people should be allowed to act ever again. I hesitate to call them actors because I saw no semblance of acting on screen. The characters are unlikable and annoying, which is weird because I don't remember hating them in the original. I didn't care if any of them died; in fact I wanted them all to die so the movie would end as quickly as possible. It literally goes down the horror movie cliché checklist. The cabin in the woods schtick, clueless college kids, creepy guy at a gas station, perfunctory sex scenes, loud sound effects to make you jump, etc. Hell, even the gore is lame. Patient Zero had better gore effects.

Please don't watch this movie. It makes Patient Zero look like The Dark Knight. Watch the original if you want, or literally any other Eli Roth movie. I don't blame Roth for this mess because I'm pretty sure he just signed off on it, made some green and never thought about it again. It doesn't even have his signature silly style. It tries to take itself seriously and it fails miserably. Then they shoehorn in some jokes that aren't funny at all, and you laugh at how horribly they were delivered, and then you'll contemplate what you're doing with your life. It's a chore to watch, seriously.

Cabin Fever is just another byproduct of the horror remake craze. Avoid at all costs.

Cabin Fever (2016)

1/2 (out of 4)

Five friends go out into the woods for a fun week but soon a flesh eating virus begins to take them over.

This is a remake of the 2002 Eli Roth film that put that director on the map and helped bring in some "frat boy" type of horror movies. Roth was involved in this one and had spent several months really pushing for people to give this film a chance but the end result is without question one of the biggest disasters in recent horror history. I've seen worse film but I've never seen such a pointless remake in my life. I'm a huge defender of remakes because quite often they're at least more original than sequels, which usually just copy the first movie. That's certainly not the case here because what we basically have is a scene-for-scene remake.

For the life of me I can't understand what Roth and company were trying to do with this film. At least the original film had two sequels that at least tried to be different or do something slightly original. When I say this is a scene-for-scene remake I'm not kidding. It really does seem like the original screenplay was used here with only a few things brought more up=to-date. This includes an assault rifle being used, stuff like the internet mentioned and the Deputy character is now a woman. Everything else is exactly like the original movie so what was the point? If you've seen the original then you're just going to be bored by what you see here.

The kills are slightly different but they're certainly not great enough to save the picture. The cast really isn't any better here. The direction isn't any better. As for the screenplay, as I said, it's pretty much just the original with a few alterations. Even worse is the fact that the film runs the same length, which just goes to show how alike they are. CABIN FEVER, the 2016 version, is one of the most unoriginal movies I've ever seen and it's just shocking that Roth would sign off for this type of remake. His rumor was taken out but the darker elements add up to nothing. I will avoid giving the film a BOMB rating since it's at least professionally made. Still, what on Earth were they smoking?

I'll admit I've never been much of an Eli Roth fan. The original Cabin Fever was a pretty bad movie but I wouldn't even recommend this film to Eli Roth fans, as it is a pretty pointless remake. Fans of the original probably should stay away.

If there was one positive thing about the original film, it was that it had that low budget charm to it. There's something about low budget horror films that I like and Cabin Fever had that. However, this remake does away with that charm as it obviously had a higher budget. A higher budget doesn't always mean a better film, though.

The acting in this remake is atrocious and the dialogue is even worse. The characters are all underdeveloped stereotypes that you really don't care about at all. Nearly all the scenes of the original are redone shot-for-shot, but they're handled in a much messier manner. There are a few minor differences, such as the "party man" cop character is now played by a female, for some reason.

As for positives, there aren't many. The cinematography was decent and the gore and makeup effects were pretty damn good actually. Some of the music was alright. But that's about it. I don't see why this film had to be made.

Overall, this is a shallow remake of a bad, low budget horror film from 2002. If you've never seen Cabin Fever but plan on watching it, I'd go with the original, as it is the better of the two. However, that's not saying much, as they're both pretty shitty. If you are a fan of the original, you probably won't like it much. But you might watch it anyway just to compare the two. I wouldn't pay much to see it, though. Maybe rent it if you get the chance.

3/10

The original Cabin Fever wasn't a great movie by any means, but had fun with itself while showcasing some convincing gory effects; a low budget body horror about a cast of dumb college age couples (and the odd man out) succumbing to a terrible flesh-eating disease in the woods. The 2016 version is just a modernization of the original, hitting all of the same story beats but giving our characters smart phones, automatic rifles, and pop culture references a-plenty. One character in particular is so unlikable that I wouldn't blame anybody for switching the movie off after enduring a few scenes with this guy. Overall, it's bland, visually unexciting, and doesn't replace the original in any way.

I'm not the one to hate on horror movie remakes I actually enjoy watching a classic remade for the modern audience. But that's only when the director can create a new modern twist or add more to what the original didn't have like what Zombie did for Carpenter's Halloween. But the remake of Eli Roth's Cabin Fever is just one of the most pointless horror remakes I've ever seen next to Psycho. The story of the movie is lame. It's everything you seen in the original just with different actors in these scenes. You actually know what's coming next. You even know what the characters are gonna say next. There's nothing new added in the directors own vision. It's the same Dog death opening scene. The scene where one of the characters gets his hand attacked by Dennis is the same. Even the camp fire story is the same. The only difference is the ending of the movie, which is not half bad. The characters are very unimportant to this movie or at least they felt like it. You don't pay even a minute of attention to them because, well they are supposed to be the same as well and they make the same dumb choices of survival as the original. The blood n gore effects seem to be up higher than the original. But it might it some gore lovers we do see a lot more blood all around in some scenes especially in the bath tub scene we see even some skin coming off.

I didn't enjoy this remake at all it's nothing, but watching the same movie you already seen. You know what's coming next. The characters die in the sane order as they did in the original. The only differences you'll find is the ending, higher blood n gore, and different actors who shouldn't be allowed to ever act in another movie again. I don't recommend you watch this waste of a remake. You'll have a much more better time re watching the original movie.