So these unconvincing virgin cops find themselves being called upon to capture Jason Voorhees, I mean Bonejangles, who is an unkillable slasher who is all the things that Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers are, just this guy is a big fan of Skeletor and Bloody Mary. He has a past where his mother wants him to seek revenge for her death where a camp counsellor chopped her head off.... oh, wait, no, it was his daddy had sex once, and little Bonejangles was the result, telling him that sex, women and his winky are evil, so you gotta just hate and kill them to be your own evil or something.
So now discount Dax Shepard and Jesus himself play a couple of virgin cops told they're probably not coming back from this 'go apprehend Chromeless Skull' with the help of their Sargent and Lara Croft.
After stumbling their way through and being rescued last minute by the Twobigboobs Raider, BonerJangles goes down and is hauled off to the towns jail.
The exact same dweebs and female Indiana Jones and the Mammath Mountains of Mammaries are joined by a way too over the top played gay man who I just could not suspend reality here and believe the police force would allow this individual to wear hoop earrings. I'm sorry, the whole movie and its bad acting, terrible jokes, and stupid plot just became way too much right there.... oh, and they're told the prisoner is too dangerous. He needs to be sent to Gotham Asylum, but Batman is too busy to escort the bad dude himself,so they agree to meet halfway to exchange the prisoner, which is fine, I get it, especially with the high price of gas these days.... the only thing is, reject value Dax Shepard doesn't want to do it because the exchange point is his old stomping grounds where he grew up and left because of a girl, an embarrassing high school moment, oh and a night where this witches curse brings out zombies for the night on one day of the year, and that night just happens to be that day Friday the.. that night.
Of course, you can predict what's going to happen with Bonnyjingleballs vs. The Witches Zombies, but you probably won't predict where the Double Virgin's little tale takes them. Not to say it's worth the curiosity, tho. It isn't. This film tries to make fun of slasher genres, but it just doesn't find any balance between it being lame while trying to be funny and not even having any cool or funny kill scenes.
I don't know who wrote this and thought it would be humorous... its almost like somebody wrote a script based on "What if Jason Voorhees was sent to fight some other monster on its home turf," and they wrote it very seriously. Then the script was handed to a child and told to insert jokes into the script.... or did they just hire a bunch of people who call themselves improv comedians, but the only thing that's ever funny about them is they are oblivious to the fact no one finds them funny, so people just watch them to see just how pathetic they can be... only this time they filmed themselves doing it.
I only laughed twice through this thing. One is something a guy did with a guitar that led to a kill. The other at just how bad the FX looked when a house blew up- that and it makes a loud explosion and then cuts to a scene saying "Oh, look at that" like no one could have possibly missed that big loud boom, yet somehow they did. To which I say. Look away yourself, ignore the loud boom that is Voorheejangles. It's not the worst thing out there, but it doesn't mean it's worth seeing either.
