Warlord

What in the hell did I just watch? I'm sat stunned by the sheer audacity that people are responsible for churning this plate of utter crap out. I've no idea of what actually went on because it makes no sense. Nothing really happens. It's just a complete waste of time and effort.

I love a good fantasy film but this is fantasy for the wrong reason. They've obviously fantasised that anyone would be slightly interested in watching such drivel.

The acting is terrible. The settings are done in some park woodland. The script and story are just all over the place. This is just so bad on all levels. Charges should be brought against all those involved in it.

The Good News: The cinematography and acting are decent. Too bad you don't see a fantasy movie for the acting.

The plot is boringly xenophobic and the usual anti-authority: The elves and humans don't get along, with the humans holding all of the cards and the elves being exiled to the woods. The sheriff is right from the Stock Evil collection: He's running roughshod over the local population while forcefully taking control of the bakeries and forcing others into the mines.

In other words, nothing you really haven't seen before. Adding to the fun is the usual over-the-top violence.

Then there's the ending, which isn't exactly your feel-good ending, which comes from nowhere. It's nice that the bad guys get punished, but only by making the chasm between elves and humans even deeper. It's the sole surprise in the movie.

All told, there is a surprise ending to the movie, but it's unlikely most people would last past the first twenty minutes. There's a lot of scenery chewing, but it doesn't really add to the movie and most of it has no payoff. You can miss this movie with little worry of missing anything important.

Who is this made for? I watched the entire first 30 minutes and still have no clue what this is about. Fantasy movie only in name and costumes. All they do is talk. Boring as boring can be. If you have children be careful, there is a scene where a guy is running in the woods naked and his privates are clearly outlined as he prances around. Bizarre. He gets caqptured, castrated and tar and feathered by the elves. Adds nothing to the movie except more disgust and makes no sense. This is not a spoiler, there is nothing here to spoil. I think that is the main action scene in this bore fest.

Listen, I adore Lord of Rings, most fantasy tv shows, and cut them a lot of slack. I forgive much. I am a fantasy geek hardcore. But this thing is not a proper movie. Not even a proper play. Every high school play is better than this. Maybe it was crowd funded? I want my half hour back.

I did fast forward to make sure there were no later scenes to redeem it. But no, zero.

Did they really think this was good enough to make more than one of? The ending of this movie is setting it up for a second, but who will green light that? The big twist was kind of assanign. For the budget this thing probably had I will say they did a decent job with the set. But the acting and the pacing where slow and tedious. I can't believe I made it through the whole thing. I guess I was thinking it would get better, or I liked some of the class war messaging, but then it spits on all that. Anything that was good abot it was lost by the end of this low budget robinhood with elves movie./

Honestly, Warlord was way better than I expected. The story grabs you early and doesn't let go-no pointless filler, just solid pacing and a plot that actually flows. I was hooked the whole way through.

Billy Boyd kills it as the Sheriff. Seeing him go full dark side was weirdly satisfying. He's terrifying without ever going over the top. Ryan Gage's performance was also great, and the supporting cast (especially the elves) brought a lot of weight to the story.

Visually, it looks amazing. The costume design deserves a shout. Detailed, gritty, and totally believable. It made the world feel lived-in and real. The forest setting, the armor, the face paint. It all looked spot on without trying too hard.

Yeah it's not a mega-budget blockbuster, but it doesn't need to be. It's a tight, well-acted fantasy flick with heart, style, and a bit of bite. Definitely worth a watch.