Full English Breakfast

Oh my good god! This has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen! Does IMDb allow makers and 'actors' to comment on their own productions in here? because anyone who rates this over one star (zero would be preferable) must be either of those.

The acting is diabolical, the sound is dubbed on the movie post filming and the 'storyline' a joke - the whole thing came across as a school project gone bad.

If I hadn't lost the will to live, I'd write about the plot and characters, but in fairness, it'd be a waste of time - AVOID THIS UTTER TURKEY - keep your rotten tomatoes to throw at something deserving of them!

After writing this review, I'm going to get a chisel and hammer and see if I can dig this offencive mess out of my brain! Definitely the worst movie ever made! I know people say that all the time about films they've disliked but trust me, this IS the worst movie ever made. Atrocious - heavily wooden acting, banal dialogue (like a 12 year old trying to write a gangster story) and edited at times like the editor had suddenly zoned out on cannabis! BUT taking the biscuit is the diabolical sound editing, in particular the scandalous post-sync dubbing of the entire dialogue heard in the film. Absolutely laughable Production values.

Manish Patel needs to stop film making altogether before he causes somebody to take their own life after watching one of his hideous creations!!!

I say possibly because after 15 mins I couldn't stand any more, so I find it difficult to compare to the other contender, Get Lucky, which I also turned off after 15 to 20 mins.

I should have trusted the IMDb average rating of 4 but I was conned by the 6 pages of reviews consistently giving it 8 or more, with comments including "triumph", "best movie I've seen this year", "epic" and "Shakespearean". Who are these people? Well whoever they are most of them signed up between 1 month and 1 month 2 weeks ago, just after the movie was released.

If I were a cynic I'd say that someone from the production team has spent a couple of hours creating fake accounts and writing glowing reviews of a s***e movie. In fact I am saying that. The only thing that baffles me is why would someone want to draw attention to such a poorly made movie? All anyone who is conned into watching it will think is that it's terrible.

Onto the movie itself. Wooden acting. I mean seriously bad, totally unconvincing. I mean even to the extent that someone trying to simply look at something looked poorly acted. I still don't know how that can be achieved.

If you've ever seen Big Fat Quiz of the Year you may remember the children of Mitchell Brook Primary School acting out various new stories from throughout the year. The actors in this movie must look to those kids in admiration. That's how bad this movie is.

Do yourself a favour, trust the bad IMDb rating and avoid this one. With most, if not all, of the 60 good reviews twisting average from 200 votes as I write this, the score should really be lower than 4.

Firstly, there is no way on God's earth this movie did $3.3million at the box office. I watched this in disbelief. It must have cost a tenner to make, it seemed like an embarrassing uni project. How this even got financed is beyond me. Someone somewhere said "you know what? This is a bloody good script, lets make it and get the cream of British actors to star in it". Well that person deserves to be locked up in a mental hospital. The only good thing to come out of this movie is the fact that it has given hope to all the new up and coming film makers. This is what you're up against folks, the bar couldn't get any lower. I don't know if it was made ironically as a spoof homage to all the bad gangster movies out there, if it was then great work but somehow I don't think it was. However, I urge anybody to watch this to see how unbelievably bad it really is. Take special notice of the sound effects in all the fight scenes. Priceless.

I find 95% of British movies great and , to be honest, am probably rather biased, as I tend to dislike typical Hollywood movies, save a few. Even the British movies a lot of people do not like, I tend to. This is the reason I decided to watch the film, after reading the negative reviews on IMDb. A decision I regret. A single penny, cent, yuan or congolese franc spent on this movie is one utterly wasted. It is simply an abomination.

Firstly it is just odd, very odd. The timing in every scene is completely off, the dialogue ridiculous and the acting appalling. At one point I genuinely suspected it was a joke and they were attempting some kind of humour by acting as poorly as possible. In fact, perhaps they were. It is the only explanation I can come to.

The film is also accompanied by unnecessary sound effects. The front door to a house closing or opening has the sound effect of a creaking barn door and the sound of footsteps on normal floors replaced by hollow sounding steps. This is all the way through and the effects simply do not match the sound they are replacing would make. This has to be done on purpose, no-one could purposely make such glaring errors. The reason for this is perplexing. Maybe they were trying to be clever or 'arty'. If so, it was a huge failure on both counts.

It seems to have both very bad and very good reviews on IMDb. Like other commentators I can only assume the good reviews were left by people with a vested interest. I'd rather read war and peace backwards in Finnish than complete watching this film.