Gramps Goes to College

This is the WORST Christian movie of all times. Every aspect of it is either manipulative, lying, or flat out cringy. The first warning sign is when the college biology professor tells her students to ditch their religious beliefs. In what universe would this happen? Oh, let me back up a bit. The reason why this old coot goes to college is that "we're at war," and he is going to be the champion to dispel the myth of evolution. Oh wait, there's more! Donald James Parker, wrote, directed and made himself the lead character, giving himself super- human geriatric powers. He is a grand master at chess, pro ball player, long distance runner that beats 20-year-olds, and yes, even a lady's man. But being such a prude, he won't succumb to a 'woman's charm'. Now ask yourself, why does a 60 something man need to have so many movies where he plays the lead with young girls? In seeing interviews with Donald, you can see a hypocritical dark side to this man. He supports a rapist bragging about rape, saying it's "just locker room talk." So, you can either avoid this movie, period, or have fun and watch it on you tube where a commentator will share the laughs and groans with you. And Donald, if you're reading, get this: We see your hypocrisy and twisted mind. Your movies reek of desperation to be liked.

It is not a figure of speech or a euphemism when I say this was literally the stupidest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. The laughter was painful in the beginning. But by the middle, the embarrassment I felt for being a member of the same species as Grandpa Handsome-Bold-Intelligent-Computer Genius-Chess Grandmaster-Workaholic-4-God was far more painful. The tone-deafness in this train wreck was hard to believe. The hilarious not-so-subtle self-aggrandizement, surreal interactions and bloated misogynistic undertones that the producer doesn't even seem to realize it exhibits put this way out past daft.

How is it that other people actually cooperated in the making of this nightmarish skit? If they were this guy's friends, they would have put a stop to it and spared him the personal embarrassment and prevented him from making a film that is excellent at doing exactly the opposite of what it is intended to do: making fundamentalists look like out-of-touch, self-absorbed idiots who live in an archaic echo chamber.

If this was organized by anti-theists to serve as a secret tongue-in-cheek mockery of creationism and fundamentalism, then it was genius. Absolutely no one who ever lived will see this and feel sympathetic to the points it attempts to make; but there are plenty who might already be sympathetic and feel highly embarrassed after being exposed to this disaster. Nothing could make anyone on the fence about creationism run for the door faster than this thing.

A friend tricked me into watching this, telling me it was an early Jim Carey movie. I think I'm going to have to disown that friend.

The acting is ... reluctant middle schooler at best, and the dialogue is more cringy than Dumb and Dumber, which by contrast is a story about two of the finest physics geniuses on the planet.

I skipped forward a few scenes from the gym scene - which was jaw-droppingly bad in itself - to take in a diatribe about modern political leanings which allowed such biblical monstrosities as co-ed dorms. Satan is alive and well and living in co-ed dorms apparently. Be aware, students!

And I can only confess that those were the highlights of this one-reeler as far as I could tell. I'm a live-and-let live type, but this was a live-and-then-burn-in-hell-for-all-eternity-because-God-loves-you-and-because-you-disagree-with-my-point-of-view movie.

Technically, the bloopers are perhaps the highlight of the movie, and luckily there are enough of those to keep an eye out for, such as badly placed mirrors reflecting the crew. The rest is more embarrassing than accidentally discovering your grandparents having sex. I actually found myself blushing at how awful this movie is, between my groans of distress at how awful this movie is., and protests at blatantly false claims and how awful this movie is.

It won an award for the scriptwriter, producer and star of the movie (all the same guy) and curious and bewildered at how it won an actual award, I looked it up. It was awarded by a faith organisation that has strong ties to the writer, producer and star (again, all the same guy.)

What a coincidence. Astonishing really.

Now, who can I trick into believing this is an early Richard Gere movie...?

If you have been kicked in the head by a horse, are a trump supporter, or have eaten copious amounts of lead paint over the years, then this is a must see film.

Only by being one of these people can you fully appreciate the harsh and leadfooted dialogue about Satan perverting the young or the grating expositional dialogue about subplots that never come to fruition.

This film is impossible to distinguish from parody. The fact that people think like gramps is horrifying and misery inducing. The fact that this film is allowed to be produced and seen by brain owning people is borderline criminal, and liberalism gone too far.

Not since Triumph of the Will has such blatant and obvious propaganda been produced, though Leni Riefenstahl had the wisdom to be deeply ashamed about her own involvement.

This movie showcases how scary and upsetting the world must be to insular, insipid (American) Christians. There is no cure for the intellectual disabilities denoted by the writing and production of this film.

I would urge anyone who finds this movie to have a semblance of a sensible or credible argument to actually go and take a biology course. But unfortunately, there is no cure for the level of ignorance brainwashing on this scale creates, and the crew of this film will live in blissful ignorance in perpetuity. Truly hell is real, this film unequivocally proves it.

As a film that attempts to do the opposite, it is ironic that this movie is the most foundational and convincing evidence that god does not exist.

Seriously Carol, your acting far surpassed that of anybody else's. Again, David John Parker your writing and direction has led to yet another hilariously embarrassing film. However, at least I can say it was an entertaining film.