Cowboys vs Dinosaurs

Eric Roberts have been involved in so many of these B-movies this year alone and with title such as Cowboys vs Dinosaurs, you would know what to expect here. In that regard the movie delivers, it's a series of cheesy dialogues and terrible effects conveyed by entirely uncomfortable cast. This movie is for when you have exhausted every other movie option and at best might just find some comedy.

There are cowboys, and then they meet with dinosaurs. If that sounds rather uninformative, it's because narrative offers little explanation. In fact, most of the times the focus is geared towards attractive ladies that have little to no credible acting skill. To put it mildly, they are most likely recruited from adult entertainment industry.

One doesn't accidentally stumble on Cowboys vs Dinosaurs, you should know the inherent shady production, might just as well embrace it.

After an accidental explosion at a local mine, dinosaurs emerge from the rubble to terrorize a small western town. Now, a group of gunslingers must defend their home if anyone is going to survive in a battle of cowboys versus dinosaurs.

After watching "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre", I needed to follow up my cheese with more cheese -- two movies about explosions unleashing prehistoric creatures who kill! And, you know what? This is the better of the two. Still terrible, but in a fun way.

Was the biggest problem the awful dinosaurs? Nope. It was trying to figure out why none of the men in this town were under 40 and none of the women were older than 25. The romantic pairings were rather creepy.

Kelcey Watson is the star of this film. His intensity and over-the-top performance is great, and I would love to see him transition from cheesy movies to bigger things. Sara Malakul Lane was also really good, and she seems to be on that edge between big things and B-movies. She's been in FHM, so her modeling is known... but then she has a spotty track record of movies that probably barely paid her. She's better than that.

The real surprise is Eric Roberts. Someone please tell me how he went from huge star to the king of D-grade movies... he really hit rock bottom with "The Dead Want Women". In this film, though, he gives a really good performance. A bit cheesy, but fitting or the movie. I suspect he was only on set one day, but he really nailed it.

Or if you will, strictly for the kids (well those who don't mind a dinosaur or two!) the villains are the sheriff and his boss, a vile businessman who will do anything for himself and nothing for others. The level of acting quality is quite poor save for a reliable Eric Roberts (spends most of his time in jail) and a dark skinned actor who plays the part of Quaid (I think!) If you want a good movie for a wet rainy day this isn't it. At times its hard to think as to whether I have ever seen one as badly put together as this. Oh for the days of Cowboys and Indians (although sadly, the Indians were never the heroes of these films but the villains!).

This movie has the feel of a movie where the casting director and his drinking buddies auditioned every attractive person they could find. A day before production began they grabbed whoever was in the room at the time and told them they got the part. The acting is that amateur.

Not that it matters, really, because the story is completely nonsensical. Dinosaurs are living in their iridium mine and the dopes in charge try to hide the discovery?!? Have none of this lot seen Jurassic Park. I don't care how much iridium goes for, the dinosaurs are worth more.

Three stars for some solid unintentional laughs and for attractive people in various states of undress.

Please dont put yourself through the pain. It is so terrifyingly bad