Ninja Apocalypse

This movie is supposed to be about ninjas. Sadly, these guys don't act like ninjas. They act like typical Americans.

Arrogance, macho attitude, constant bickering amongst themselves instead of fighting the enemy, no sense of honour and discipline, ridiculousness and stupidity... That's what you get. It's hard to enjoy a movie where all characters are like that. Add poor acting and some cliché melodramatic scenes that don't make much sense, and you've got the whole picture.

The plot is obviously completely irrelevant in a movie called "Ninja Apocalypse", so I won't get into it.

As a side note, the group of our "heroes" consists of 3 white males, one woman, and one black guy. I'll let you guess which two die first.

If all you care about is a bunch of guys fighting, go for it. The fighting scenes weren't too bad. But that's really the only thing this movie has going for it.

I guess I didn't get the memo, that a re-imagining of The Warriors was on the way. But I did watch it and unfortunately it doesn't hold up. There are other elements mixed in for and you have a certain dignity with Cary Tagawa, who's not only reliable, but also brings gravitas (even underground, yes!).

The effects are OK, the fights are also OK, for the budget that this movie had. I guess if this was made in the 80s (yes, like the Warriors, but even by that standard it lacks quite a bit), I might have liked the group mentality and the quirkiness of the movie. Characters are OK too, not much acting and not really any surprises (twist!) ...

After the end of the world as we know it, the wise master Fumitaka calls all Ninja clans for a peaceful assembly. He is murdered by an unknown killer, and the leader of the Lost Clan is framed for it. He wants to find out who the real killer is, but before he can start his revenge mission, the Lost Clan members have to butcher a bunch of zombies living (or rather: existing undead) next door for some strange reason.

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa ('Tekken', 'Mortal Kombat') as Fumitaka is the only serious actor here. All the others seem to be a bunch of students. Asian movie fans will probably cringe in their seat when they watch the amateurish fights, looks more like a Saturday night tavern brawl than trained ninjas at work. Nothing needs to make sense here, for example the Siren clan wears shiny new skintight black leather, while everyone else wears dirty rags. The script must have been some kind of fanboy dream, filmed with a minimal budget almost entirely in somebody's basement, there are hardly any outdoor scenes to show the 'postapocalyptic world'. I think 'Ninja Apocalypse' was not a complete waste of time to watch, because it is one of those movies which are so bad they become rather funny, occasionally at least.

The title sounds good but it's nothing but an failed attempt to imitate the cult classic The Warriors, it's almost like it was made by a couple of teens which tried to be cool by adding super powers to a few characters ala Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter 2. The actors can't even act properly, i lost my interest after 32 minutes. It's a complete waste of your time having to sit through this abysmal piece of crap.

I feel very lucky that, despite the increasingly daunting prospects of funding, I live in a time when independent filmmakers can indulge the craziest of ideas. NINJA APOCALYPSE is not the most barking cinematic outing you can find, but it is an exercise of creative abandon. I imagine director Lloyd Lee Barnett trying to decide on whether to make a movie about ninjas, superhumans, or zombies and saying "Screw it - I'll make a movie about all of them!" Though low-budget movies on all of those subjects abound, Barnett's effort is still a modestly unique and entertaining adventure. While it's not for everyone, it's an effective niche flick for adventurous viewers.

The story: Framed for murdering the master of all post-apocalyptic ninja bands (Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa), the leader of the Lost Clan (Christian Oliver) and his compatriots must face mutants, zombies, and their fellow ninjas as they fight their way out of a subterranean bunker.

The most important things director Barnett brings to the production is enthusiasm and a sense of pacing. I can't claim that any technical or dramatic aspect of the film is anything more than a mixed bag, but directorial fervor bleeds into the story and gives it the energy that's so important to B-movies. We never get a good handle on any of the characters, but the plot is fun to follow in the same way that it's fun to play a video game. There are so many cool ideas stuffed into the feature – reptilian desert ninjas, regenerating zombies, THE LAST AIRBENDER-esque control of the elements, etc. – that it's easy to feel overwhelmed, and none of them are examined thoroughly, but there's enough indulgence to recognize this as an attention-maintaining tactic. It's effective, if you know what you're getting in to.

Despite the amplitude of people throwing electricity, fireballs, and particle weapons at each other, this is foremost a martial arts film and features a ton of fighting. Like the special effects, it's a mixed bag, but even at their worst, the fights are pretty bearable and the performers are admirably athletic (including Christian Oliver, even though he's substantially doubled for his tricking). Swordfighting is the name of the game, and to this end, the movie benefits from the inclusion of supporting stars Alex Huynh, Alvin Hsing, and Ernie Reyes, Jr., even though they only get one match apiece. None of the fights are exceptional, but there are some neat examples of close-quarters choreography and an absence of annoying camera angles and editing tricks. Tentatively, I approve.

Chances are that NINJA APOCALYPSE will not dramatically affect your life, so if you decide to watch it, I suggest doing so during a time that you would have spent being unproductive anyway. Consider it a rental, but do consider it if B-movies are your thing. You can do much worse.