- Cousin: [from trailer] Who shot you?
- Zsa-zsa Korda: Terrorists from out of town. Help yourself to a hand grenade.
- Cousin: You're very kind.
- Bjorn Lund: [from trailer] Could you imagine falling in love with a man like me, by the way, hypothetically?
- Sister Liesl: You're drunk. On three beers.
- Zsa-zsa Korda: [from trailer] I've appointed you sole heir to my estate, which you may come into sooner rather than later.
- Sister Liesl: Why? It's been six years since our last meeting.
- Zsa-zsa Korda: I have my reasons.
- Sister Liesl: Which are what?
- Zsa-zsa Korda: My reasons? I'm not saying. I'm saying, I'm not saying.
- Sister Liesl: When I pray no one answers. I only pretend he does. Then I do whatever I think god probably would've suggested. Usually, it's obvious.