Before I Disappear

I saw this film at NorthEast Film Festival in NJ and from the moment this film started I was swept up and there is not a second that your mind wanders, every second of this film is visually stunning and diverse. You can't help but root and fall in love with Richie (Shawn Christensen) as he struggles through the evening's events. The dynamic between him and Sophia (Fatima Ptacek) is like catching lightning in a bottle, they make a fantastic duo. Fatima does a wonderful job of transitioning the younger Sophia from 'Curfew' to a more mature Sophia in 'Before I Disappear'. Even though the story is about a lot struggles and heartache, there are moments that have you laughing out loud. Each supporting character to Richie and Sophia's journey is so well cast. Paul Wesley as Gideon is simply phenomenal, as he creates a very diverse character within only a few appearances on screen. He manages to create so many subtle undertones with a performance that doesn't hit over the head with it, but leaves you with a deeper understanding of the character. Emmy Rossum as Maggie does an outstanding job of creating a real and emotional counterpart as the mother to Sophia's character. Ron Perlman is as fantastic as always and creates a very chilling presence on screen. Hats off to the multi talented Shawn, for directing, starring, writing and composing for this beautiful surprise of a film.

"Before I Disappear" was birthed from director Shawn Christensen's 2013 short film "Curfew," which won Best Live Action Short Film at the Academy Awards that year. I remember watching the short film and simply being captivated by its portrayal of ugly yet realistic characters in a seamy environment, so much so that I called it "a wonderful exercise in style, emotion, human interaction, and existential purpose." With the accolades and recognition "Curfew" received, it was only a matter of time before the short would be adapted into a feature-length project, and, thankfully, the core focus of the film and its characters didn't find themselves lost in translation.

This is a film of tone, realism and germane surrealism, and companionship, four ideas that one would assume would make for an awkward, uneven film but mesh so well together thanks to Christensen's carefulness that the end product is something to behold. The film concerns Ritchie (Christensen), an aimless and depressed twentysomething working for a seedy nightclub run by Bill (Ron Perlman). His will to live is waning day-by-day after his girlfriend Vista has mysteriously disappeared, and, upon finding the corpse of a young female in the nightclub bathroom, Ritchie is ready to call it quits.

He goes home, fills a bathtub full of water, and proceeds to take a sharp razor and slit his wrists, ending his miserable existence. His suicide attempt is interrupted by Maggie ("Shameless"'s Emmy Rossum), who phones him asking to pick up her eleven-year-old daughter Sophia (Fátima Ptacek, who voices Dora on "Dora the Explorer") from school and look after her while she takes care of other things. Reluctantly, Richie exits hit bloody bathtub, bandages his wrists, throws on old clothes, lights a cigarette and heads off to pick Sophia up. Sophia is exactly the kind of precocious tot that Richie needs in his life, regardless of whether or not he knows it. Sophia is meticulous, organized, and grounded in a world where all there is is homework and poetry. She's drawn realistically and not conjured up from the barrage of clichés one expect from this character. She's sensitively played by Ptacek, who is only fourteen-years-old, and just when you think her character is a caricature, she surprises and comes to be a wonderful addition to not only the story but Richie's life.

Richie and Sophia wander the streets, with Richie being hunted by loansharks and mob bosses for his failure to pay back old debts, going from several seedy locations before finding some sort of solace and connection at a bowling alley. This scene is almost identical in structure and setup as "Curfew," but with it being bookended by more familiarity and involvement with the characters, it takes on a greater significance. It provides for a momentary discourse in Richie's miserable existence, as he watches Sophia freely dance down the lane of the alley, with people shaking their hips with bowling balls in their hands at the front of each lane. This adds to the surrealism aspect I mentioned earlier, in that while "Before I Disappear" explores realistically-drawn characters with serious problems and shortcomings, it also welcomes intriguing surrealism into the mix, bending the reality our disillusioned character lives in. Consider when Richie takes a handful of menopause pills (which he believes are sleeping pills that will turn fatal if he takes enough) and hallucinates one of his collectors coming after him; it's one of the greatest surrealist scenes in a film predicated off of being human and realistic.

"Before I Disappear" has received the most flak from people who saw "Curfew," weren't a big fan of it to begin with, and then cringed at the thought of watching the short stretched out for ninety-three minutes. Those who enter blindly, and have never seen "Curfew," will likely get the most enjoyment out of it, or those, like me, who enjoy stories about believable and real characters, will find several things to appreciate.

100% spoiler-free.

I watched the short-film Curfew (2012) first, which is on YT, and then I watched this full-length film of 2014.

I think that this is a beautiful story that shows themes such as life, death, love, pain, hopelessness, hope, loneliness, depression, emptiness, discovering a reason to live for, and second chances.

The story felt so real it must be based on real events, even though it is never claimed it is based on a true story, I believe it must be. Nobody comes up with such a ridiculously plausible plot out of imagination. The ending was good too. Overall, a meaningful story that left me thinking and wondering about life, and may leave you doing the same.

Shawn Christensen - he wrote the story, directed the film, and was one of the two protagonists. I think he wrote a fine story, and directed it well, and his acting of a 'terminally' hopeless man was believable enough and good enough to carry the story.

Fátima Ptacek - she did a great job; enjoyable to watch. Great acting. If Shawn was the darkness, then she was the light of this film.

Emmy Rossum - I thought she did a great job too, especially towards the end, that scene she absolutely nailed it.

Supporting cast - they did fine. Ron Perlman (from Hellboy) and Paul Wesley (from Vampire Diaries) were in this film; I wonder how they were afforded to be in it. Their acting was fine.

Producer Damon Russell and Cinematographer Daniel Katz, and everyone else who helped make this beautiful film - thanks.

Movie theme song - "Sophia So Far" by Goodnight Radio (2013). I am so thankful the movie released this full version of the song. It is first played during a really nice scene in the movie and also at the end of the film. This song instantly makes one think about the film.

Conclusion: I think this is a beautiful story with multiple underlying themes about things like hope, love, life, death, and second chances. Watched it 2x so far, will surely watch it again in the future. It is a good film and it is worth a watch and recommending.

9/10

It's becoming increasingly harder and harder these days to find films in the theater that stand out and really make a memorable impact. This gem of a feature, expanded from an Oscar- winning short (Curfew), makes that rare leap from one form to another without losing its magic. Although I knew the basic story since I had seen the short, I was pleasantly surprised by the whole of this film - compelling characters (not just the amazing leads (Christensen, Ptacek and Rossum are perfectly cast), but even supporting ones), unexpectedly funny, the MUSIC!!, the tone/color/cinematography, and of course, the story itself. All of these various factors melded together into that rare magical alchemy that produces the perfect film. I would love to delve into more detail here, but don't want to spoil anything. Christensen is obviously one to watch for. I am in awe that he wrote, directed and starred in this project, and am already looking forward to his future work. Much respect.

I give this an 8 and I don't do it lightly. I'm also not rating it highly as an indie, it's good compared to any project. This movie is absolutely haunting. The writer has a deep understand of people and displays them so realistically. I really liked the fact that it didn't have cliché characters. The "gangsters" don't do what you expect them to do. The things people did in this movie weren't over the top, it felt very real.

The cinematography and shots were fantastic in this movie. It was at times like a dream or an acid trip and it never felt out of place. The transitions between hallucinations and real life were not stark and abrupt like in other movies where someone is tripping. Shawn Christensen is going to be the director to watch out for in the future. The casting was perfect. Everybody was good. I just dislike Ron Perlman because he gets cast in this type of role in so many movies that it's starting to be a cliché, still he was great.

Christensen is also a great writer. This movie was at once deeply sad and entertaining. Casting Fatima Ptecek as Sophia was perfect. She was the pillar of light for Richie's darkness and she was just a delight to watch. There really is something special about Ptecek. She's the next Abigail Breslin.