The Emu War

I'd initially heard about The Emu War when seeing a post made by Aaron Gocs on Instagram, and the idea of seeing the fair dinkum Aussie comedian in a gonzo comedy about soldiers fighting bird puppets sounded like something with greens potential. For the sold out audience around me, it seemed that the film reached its potential as they all giggled away. But I sat at the back of the cinema waiting for the film to find a rhythm to its madness or a single joke that landed, and it never happened.

There is a point in the beginning exposition of The Emu War that might lead one to believe that we're in for an affectionate reimagining of The Dirty Dozen. Alas, the four (yes, only four) "elite" soldiers sent into enemy lines to tackle the emus head on are dropped into the film without giving the audience time to meet and get to know them. A number of haphazard flashback "gags" are jammed in there to give each of them a brief, unfunny backstory, but it rarely comes across as anything more than lazy. And that's because it is. The Emu War is, despite the best and sincere efforts of everyone involved, one of the most fundamentally lazily written films I've seen in a very long time.

The entirety of The Emu War is the same joke repeated again and again. It's not a particular joke; it had a different setup and punchline every time. But every single time, the gag is "let's tell an unintentionally unfunny gag which is so dumb and lowbrow that the audience will appreciate the irony". There is an etiquette to this kind of humour that The Emu War does not have a grasp on. The audience around me consistently erupted with laughter and had a great time, but In The Greasy Strangler, the juvenile sense of humour was offset by the film's artistically woven assault on the concept of good taste. And in the notorious terrible but ironically enjoyable Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, the general concept of a buddy pairing between Rambo and one of The Golden Girls against the backdrop of a police procedural is so ridiculously out of place that it hit an interesting note for me. The Emu War hit neither of these notes, largely because despite the sincere efforts of the filmmakers, it seems like an improv comedy group decided to frantically pull out the most juvenile gags they could and stuffed it onto the page. The last time I saw a movie try to wring out a feature length screenplay from this low a standard of writing, it was in a film called Disaster Movie. Being the disaster that it was I turned off that movie about 30 minutes in. I thought directors Aaron Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer had retired from filmmaking because nobody was interested in funding their juvenile, pottymouth and ridiculously lowbrow films anymore. But if they migrated to Australia, evidently Screen Australia would throw money around to see their kind of vision brought back to cinemas.

Of all the lowbrow misfired attempts at humour in the film, there was one in particular that took me off guard. It was a scene where the characters decide to have an impromptu orgy to... somehow escape from a prison, and the filmmakers have decided to actually blur out everyone's genital region. Surely there are a hundred other ways to choreograph and shoot a scene like this so that you don't have to resort to, you know, literally blurring a film to remove any slight facade of a fourth wall having ever existed. And yet just like every other point in the script, the creators took the lazy route.

The Emu War doesn't have a script. It doesn't have a story. And for the majority of the time, it doesn't have much in the way of production values either. It has and endless surplus of dialogue which the filmmakers seem to think are jokes, many of which are flashbacks seemingly designed to distract from the fact that the story is absent and bereft of movement. I could forgive this all if the movie was funny because it aspires to be a comedy more than anything, but minus two or three moments of Aaron Gocs' natural charismatic delivery, I couldn't find a single thing to write about. Maybe one day I'll see a film that knows how to better use his talents, but that day is not today.

To its credit, the visual effects in The Emu War are pretty decent. And the on-the-nose use of practical puppetry was one of the highlights for me, particularly in an era where people all too often over-rely on CGI. And the cast give it a very sincere effort, even if the material they're working with isn't pristine.

It's one thing to make a film, and it's another to sit in the audience and criticise it. But films typically have narrative, script and storytelling etiquette to go with them. Those are three things, among many, many others, which are completely absent from The Emu War. I haven't seen an Australian comedy so unfunny since The Very Excellent Mr Dundee, a movie I hold in so much contempt that I would call it the worst Australian film ever made. I don't have that same contempt for The Emu War because it's a silly little film made by a bunch of people who just wanted to have a good time, but I didn't have anything close to a good time watching it. And I just couldn't in good conscience summon the strength to recommend it to anybody. It was a harmless little Australian movie and I was surrounded by people who enjoyed it. Alas, when I exited the cinema and was asked what my thoughts were, all I could say was "Gallipoli was funnier".

Finally someone is making some edgy, brave comedy in Australia that is unique and entertaining. It's completely bonkers. The "outer body experience" scene towards the end makes cinema history in what I'm sure is the most jaw-dropping "gag" in modern film. The Emu War is fun and wacky and unexpected at pretty much every turn. It's not daggy, has its tongue in its cheek and reflects a head-space in this country that some are shy to acknowledge. But not these film makers, they're hilarious and they've made a wacky film that is satirical enough to be relevant. I saw it in a cinema full of belly laughs the whole way through. Hopefully you have the same experience.

Firstly, what the hell is Screen Australia doing funding absolute garbage such as this when much better quality films and genuine filmmakers cannot even get a meeting with them. This tripe is a blight on the Australian film industry and an insult to every other Australian filmmaker who busts their arses to try and get funding.

To the guys who made this film, stick to what you know, because filmmaking isn't it.

And to those who gave glowing reviews, I can only believe they are associated with the film or filmmakers.

Production values were so non existent that I've seen better offers from a Year 10 media class.

Avoid this at all costs.

Wow really went into this thinking it would be hilarious. It wasn't. Not a single joke was good, some seriously cringeworthy stuff thrown in as well as some very inappropriate "jokes", that you know what if were actually funny I wouldn't have an issue. But man this was so bad I removed it from my server due to not wanting the embarrassment of someone knowing I've seen it. Wow just wow. Do better.

This movie seemed like it was 4 hours long with nothing at all interesting happening.

The fact I now need to fill up another 100 characters to actually place this review is also dumb. IMDB has dropped off and this will be my last review posted here. Maybe ill make a new website honestly.... and not hold anyone back.

In a cinematic landscape where originality is often sacrificed for safe formulas, "The Emu War" stands out-not for its creativity, but for its staggering lack of quality. This film, purportedly a dark comedy about Australia's infamous conflict with emus, feels more like a tragic misfire. If I were an actor involved in this project, I would have considered walking off the set to pursue a more dignified career, perhaps waiting tables or washing dishes.

From the outset, the premise seemed ripe for satire. The idea of a government declaring war on flightless birds is inherently absurd, yet the script squandered this potential. Instead of a sharp, biting commentary on bureaucracy and the human condition, we're met with what feels like the ramblings of preteen dope smokers. The dialogue is clunky and riddled with clichés, delivering lines that lack both wit and originality. It's as if the writers thought slapping together a series of juvenile jokes would be enough to carry the film, and it simply isn't.

The characters, rather than being fleshed out and relatable, are reduced to one-dimensional stereotypes. The film presents a cast of caricatures that lack depth, making it impossible for the audience to connect with them. The lead, who is supposed to embody the beleaguered soldier, comes off as a whiny figure rather than a sympathetic protagonist. We're left watching a man grappling with absurdity, yet his struggles are portrayed with such lack of nuance that it becomes exhausting to endure.

Pacing is another major flaw. Scenes drag on interminably, leading to a tedious viewing experience. There are moments that could have been punchy and impactful, yet they are stretched out to the point of tedium. It feels as if the filmmakers were unsure of their own material, afraid to edit down the excess fat. As a result, what could have been a tight, humorous commentary becomes a meandering slog that tests the viewer's patience.

Visually, "The Emu War" fails to impress as well. Cinematography is uninspired and lacks the vibrant depiction of Australia's landscapes that one might hope for in a film about this unique historical event. Instead, we get drab settings that contribute nothing to the story. The emus themselves, which could have been depicted as both comical and menacing, are rendered as cartoonish antagonists. This reduces them to mere props in a poorly crafted narrative rather than the formidable force they were in real life.

The film also attempts to inject social commentary, but it misses the mark spectacularly. There are glimmers of potential insight into the absurdity of government responses to crises, yet these moments are drowned out by the surrounding mediocrity. Rather than offering a fresh perspective on the folly of war-no matter how trivial-viewers are left with a series of half-baked ideas that feel tacked on and unoriginal.

Humor is where "The Emu War" truly fails. What could have been an opportunity for clever satire is instead filled with forced jokes and awkward attempts at slapstick. There's a blatant reliance on cheap laughs that feel more appropriate for a low-tier sketch show than a feature film. The comedic timing is often off, leaving viewers cringing rather than chuckling. It's frustrating to watch as the film stumbles over its own attempts at humor, making it clear that the writers had no grasp of what truly constitutes comedy.

To say that "The Emu War" is a disappointment would be an understatement. It's an affront to the very idea of storytelling. The film feels less like a homage to a bizarre historical event and more like a failed experiment in bad taste. Instead of a celebration of the absurd, we're left with a tedious, uninspired narrative that drags on without any real purpose or enjoyment.

In summary, "The Emu War" is a cinematic disaster that proves that not all quirky tales deserve to be told. It's a cautionary tale about how not to approach a fascinating historical moment. If you're seeking entertainment or even a modicum of engagement, I urge you to look elsewhere. This film is best left forgotten, a reminder that even the most outlandish stories can fall victim to poor execution. Save yourself the time and frustration; this is one "war" that should have never been waged on the big screen.