Jurassic City

This is officially the worst movie I have ever seen. Every single aspect is a train wreck, from the totally implausible plot to the incredibly crappy special effects. The acting is wooden, the dinosaurs came out of a cereal box, the characters are all complete idiots and the script is a disaster.

If you like movies that make you shout at the TV and do shots whenever something really stupid happens, this one's for you. It goes well with alcohol and any snack that can easily be thrown at the screen.

I loved it.

Either this writer has no idea how the prison system works, or he just doesn't care. The movie didn't make a lick of sense from beginning to end. I could list all the ridiculous things, but it's just not worth it. I know this is just a dumb dinosaur movie, but even so, its got to be close to real life at some point. I saw this only because of Robert LaSardo. He does a good performance but it's not enough, he is drowning in a sea of dross.

The idea is OK, some dinosaurs escape captivity and run wild.

But...

The acting is terrible. Some of the worst I have ever seen. Too melodramatic when they should be dramatic and way too dramatic when there was no need.

The special effects are horrendous! Jurassic Park had good special effects, Jurassic City just looked fake. The dinosaurs were on a slightly different lighting level to the rest of the scene. It reminded my of the original Godzilla movies.

The story had some stupid twists, stuff that would never happen in real life and one specifically which is so bad it made me wonder what the writers were thinking.

All in all, one of the worst films I have ever seen, but not in an annoyingly bad way, just in a "what am I watching" type way. If you have 90 minutes to waste then you could do worse than this one, but it will be a waste of 90 minutes.

The four stars was awarded because I managed to watch until the end. I must admit that was hoping for some kind violent deaths, maybe some nudity. But, no, sadly, that didn't happen. Introduction of certain characters was wasted, and underused (smh). The four stars were given because it actually kept me for, unknown reasons, watching, maybe the wine, the hot chicks, or the maybe some nudity. Hang in there, have a bottle of wine before watching and you may just enjoy the time you wasted.

You have to give it one star if you don't have the strength to loose a chunk of your life torturing yourself for the full feature. However it generously delivers all it's low- expectations from the beginning enabling you to do something more useful like sort out your fridge or organise your toilet paper by different weights. The following is due to the fact that IMDb requires you to submit a minimum 10 lines, sorry in advance. 19 mins in there is some clichéd girl on girl action in a prison. The title sequence isn't bad, it matches the red of the tight short dress that the dark haired girl wears. There's a decent ironic analogy of Freud's structural model of the pschye captured through Altmanesque segues, actually there isn't I'm just fluffing out the 10 line minimum. Oh there are lingering shots of a woman's behind as she gets into a Jacuzzi. Sorry what was I reviewing again? It's already left my mind.