Le Noël royal de Bella

This movie exemplifies why I don't like Royal movies. There are too many of them. Once in a while one catches the Cinderella feeling and does it well. This wasn't it. Oh, Danica McKellar tried and she tried too hard. What she ended up with was a juvenile crush and juvenile behavior. "How about a selfie?" And I really didn't feel like she grew up as the movie progressed.

The premise was a tad weak to begin with. It made sense for Stefen to look for replacement clothes but then he basically asked her to tag along with him for a week. He doesn't want publicity, especially negative and double especially not about his love life. Hanging around with a fairly attractive woman at every event he went to for a week is going to get just that kind of publicity. But nobody seemed to notice. That made no sense. And he asked her to hang around even when she wasn't being a plus one at an event. It was not like she was really helping with anything, except filling a romantic hole in Stefen's life.

I couldn't figure out Connie. The words that came out of her mouth seemed to encourage Bella, but the look on her face didn't always match that.

Holiday romances made for TV are slightly different than regular romances. You know it's a holiday romance when the payoff kiss at the end is to the strains of Adeste Fidelis. And you can make a drinking game of it by taking a swig every time a nutcracker appears on screen.

In this story, the would-be princess is Bella Sparks (Danica McKellar) and the prince of her dreams is actually a duke named Stephan (Damon Runyan). We learn that each had a relationship that ended ignominiously. She runs a men's clothing boutique and he arrives in the United States without clothes. Well, actually the airline misplaces his luggage. But he needs a wardrobe asap and he quickly learns to rely on Bella, who later will be the bella de ball.

Unfortunately, the chemistry between the two feels forced. The Duke character is formal to the point that he expresses little warmth, giving Miss McKellar little to work with. Still, the royal-commoner trope holds true and romance fans get their final act satisfaction.

We like Danica McKellar ... a lot. Unfortunately she isn't getting the better scripts in these Christmas movies, and this is a prime example. The story is unusually drab, and the only real relationship tension is close to the end and makes the "Duke" look cold-hearted , particularly because he's just "kissed the girl".

Our "Duke", the presumptuously named Damon Runyan, and the other supposedly English characters only suggest one thing ... that Canadian actors are abject failures to affect a British accent. I mean, these accents are painful to listen to. I'd rather have Dick Van Dyke's Cockney travesty. LOL

Oddly, nine years ago Runyan played a rodeo cowboy in A Starry Christmas, a far superior movie and a far superior acting job. He paired with fellow Canadian George Canyon (a country singer) as his brother. The end of that movie didn't make any more sense than the end of this one, either. LOL.

... of course, it's mandatory for Canadian and American productions to not do any homework, making anything 'foreign' not even remotely correct or authentic. I think it's so ridiculous and insulting for the many thousands of British actors that Canadians were used to portray all Brits. Accents weren't terrible but still cringe. I know it's just a fun film, not a serious portrayal of a royal's life, but almost nothing about etiquette and how things go is anywhere near reality (including royal estates not being decorated in tacky plastic, even when in tacky America). Also, a duke isn't necessarily royal. Possible, though. Also, "You have Christmas trees growing on your property?!" is my new silliest line in a film. They're not called Christmas trees. They're pines or firs of whichever takes your fancy, but they only become Christmas trees when decorated in your home. And of course, my pet peeve with basically all American and surprisingly also Canadian Christmas films: we are able to operate on babies in utero these days, but somehow making artificial snow look real is impossible for these production companies.

Luckily, it does have some heart and even though it's of course predictable, it's also a fun angle.

No spark between the main characters. Probably impossible to have a spark with the range of emotion the duke showed. To be fair, with so much Botox in your face it might be quite impossible to have many facial expressions.

The capitalist, Christmas spirit was very touching: "You would be amazed how much joy a new shawl or accessory can bring!"

Like most hallmark movies very suitable to watch with a rom com cliche bingo card in hand. There were several moments that could've been executed better. The classic "fights"/"problems" were way too small, it was too smooth sailing. At a certain point I was even convinced we'd get a "not handsome enough to tempt me"-moment and then it passed without conflict.

There were also several plot holes. Most noteworthy was when the duke was walking a mile with a saw in hand and when they got to the felling place an axe was handed to him.