Shen hai ju mang

As I sat down to watch the 2023 Chinese creature feature "Deep Sea Python", I must admit that I was figuring it to be just another run-of-the-mill creature feature that has been spewed out from the Chinese cinema these past few years. Yet, I still opted to sit down and watch what writer Zhang Lin and director Wang Qing had to offer, as it was a movie that I hadn't already seen.

The storyline in "Deep Sea Python" was not a great one. Especially since the majority of the movie was spent without even the shadow of a monstrous python. And that sort of defeated the whole purpose of the movie, because when you sit down to watch a movie such as "Deep Sea Python", then you want to see a monstrous python, pure and simple. You don't want to sit through more than half of the movie watching people marooned on an island and milling about doing virtually nothing of any consequence or importance to the plot. So writer Zhang Lin dropped the ball here on a massive scale.

There were some attempts of added comedy elements to the storyline, which didn't really fit well into the movie. The scenes felt so forced and out of tune with the rest of the movie, and it sort of felt like writer Zhang Lin was trying to dumb down the narrative in this manner.

The acting performances in "Deep Sea Python" were okay for a movie such as this. Nothing outstanding or noteworthy, though. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list here.

The dialogue in "Deep Sea Python" is pretty abysmal. At times, it is like the dialogue was written by a pre-schooler. Especially the ladies in the movie had to deliver some really infantile dialogue that was just cringe-worthy to witness.

For a movie about a giant snake, you will find yourself terribly longing to get to see that snake. Sure, it pops up in the beginning of the movie, but then you have to go 48 minutes into the 74 minute runtime before it shows up again. That was just a slap in the face of the audience sitting down to watch director Wang Qing's 2023 movie.

The movie's cover/poster is actually the best thing about this travesty of a movie.

My rating of "Deep Sea Python" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

Deep Sea Python is the type of high concept, action-comedy-horror, trash you'd expect to go straight to a streaming service in the American market.

However, this is brought to us by China.

The whole thing is pure cheese...and doesn't take itself, at all, seriously.

But, as you can imagine...it's about a giant snake.

Or...so you'd think, at least.

Because not only is there an extreme lack of snake in the film...it doesn't necessarily even have any ties to the "deep sea", as suggested by the title, either.

To be fair...the opening does take place in the ocean.

However, the main crux of the storyline takes place on an island.

Where a group of corporately funded scientists have been tasked with tracking the thing down.

Although, we find ourselves following a group of young adults, who have set out to find the thing themselves.

Unwittingly succeeding where the scientist and his heavily armed goons have failed.

Unfortunately...the whole thing is really quite light on the action and horror...instead relying on low brow comedy, and some incredibly forced drama, for entertainment.

Luckily, it's relatively short (at approx 70 minutes).

So it doesn't force you to sit through a drawn out tale that leaves you wishing it was already over.

It isn't a very good film, though.

But it's not trying to be.

It's just a bit of mindless entertainment.

Although I can't help but wish there was more action and horror to it all.

Not to mention more snake...

Because, for a film about a giant snake...the giant snake is notably absent for a majority of the film.

And when it does come around...it's a rather underwhelming experience...that has nothing to do with the deep sea, whatsoever.

So...the title is confusing at best.

And the fact that the subtitles I had were poorly translated didn't help their cause, either.

To be frank...the whole thing was, more or less, a lost cause right from the beginning.

So, if you do make the unfortunate decision to indulge in it.

Please don't go into it expecting very much.

Because you are just setting yourself up for disappointment.

1.5 out of 10.