- Peter Brooks: See, the thing is, I don't think you actually want me.
- Lorraine: What do you mean?
- Peter Brooks: I think you just want someone. I am never going to be the man that you need me to be. OK? I know myself, and I actually really like myself. And Tiffany... She made me feel like that's OK.
- Peter Brooks: Now that is the kind of person you want around in a crisis.
- Tiffany Williams: That's Matilda.
- Peter Brooks: Ooh. Tough break.
- Peter Brooks: This has gone too far.
- Tiffany Williams: I know. I'm sorry. But what were we supposed to do? Tell everyone I stole Brett's engagement ring? I don't want to look crazy.
- Peter Brooks: I think that ship has sailed.
- [last lines]
- Tiffany Williams: You know, I have been giving that whole art school thing some thought.
- Peter Brooks: Yeah? Really? Well, I mean, off the top of my head, I hear Pratt is pretty good.
- Tiffany Williams: Oh, that's in Brooklyn, right? Where your shop is?
- Peter Brooks: Is it? It is, isn't it? Wow. See, that didn't even occur to me. But that would be pretty convenient.
- Tiffany Williams: You know what else is convenient?
- Matilda Cameron: Let's see the ring.
- Tiffany Williams: Nope. No. Can't.
- Tiffany's Mom: Why not?
- Tiffany Williams: It doesn't fit. And actually, it's bad luck to show the ring before it's been properly sized.
- Lorraine: I've never heard that before.
- Tiffany Williams: Well, look it up. It's a thing.
- Brie: So are they in love yet?
- Camille Williams: What? No. No, it's a fake relationship, remember?
- Brie: Have you never seen a rom-com?
- Camille Williams: No, it's not exactly my genre of choice.
- Brie: Well, allow me to enlighten you, then.
- Camille Williams: OK.
- Brie: Girl meets boy. Girl convinces boy to pose as her fake boyfriend in order to make her ex jealous. Along the way, girl and boy fall in love.
- Camille Williams: Right.
- Brie: It's a classic.
- Camille Williams: [laughs] That's ridiculous.
- Brie: Mark my words. Come Christmas Eve, those two will be smooching under the mistletoe.
- Peter Brooks: What does she see in this guy, anyway? He's such a dork.
- Tiffany Williams: [laughs] Takes one to know one.
- Peter Brooks: What's that supposed to mean? We're not that similar.
- Tiffany Williams: You're literally wearing the same jacket.
- Peter Brooks: Hi.
- Brett Stevenson: Nice to meet you. Boyfriend, huh? That's great.
- Tiffany Williams: Yeah, I know, right?
- [laughs]
- Tiffany Williams: You're not the only one with a plus one for Christmas this year.
- Peter Brooks: [muttering] Take it down a notch.
- Tiffany's Mom: Oh, I thought I heard people out here. And who might this handsome gentleman be?
- Tiffany Williams: Mom, this is Peter. My...
- Peter Brooks: Her boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend. It's so great to meet you.