Avalanche Sharks: les dents de la neige

Avalanche Sharks is a stupid film, plain and simple. Its characters have no characteristics beyond the surface. We have the corrupt sheriff, the greedy businessman, the tired sheriff, the virgin, the foreign and a whole cavalcade of empty-headed, teenage idiots. And even then the premise is stupider, which is saying something. It's basically Sharknado with the tornado being replaced with a skiing resort. And the worst insult is that they try to force in a half-baked origin story for these sharks. And it doesn't convince or work, at all.

The movie is really nothing more than a gorefest without the budget to pull of the blood carnage convincingly. The actors do their jobs merely to get paid, which means that we don't care what happens to them. The special effects are just sad to look and the story has no impact behind it, especially when the ending solution is so laughably deus ex machina.

Don't see this film. Sometimes films like this have a certain "so bad it's good" quality, but this is just pathetic.

Besides, I was promised a bikini skiing contest. And they never delivered. Unforgivable!

To be honest, I suffered through watching most of this movie here and there throughout the past year or so whenever it was airing on television. Although there was worldwide shock and awe with Sharknado (which was so cheesy and irrational that it was funny), they should have kept it at that and left it as a classic cheesy movie. But no, instead they start creating a whole bunch of shark movies...so much so, that the original value of Sharknado is now lost.

Avalanche Sharks is obviously a very cheesy film. But of all cheesy films, it is horribly executed. The CGI is terrible, and the story is just a piece of garbage. To be honest, how can you even imagine sharks living in the snow? At least with Sharknado, they were picked up and tossed around in the tornadoes to terrorize people in the city. Here, sharks are swimming in snow...do the writers even have brains?

Anyway, if you're looking for a cheesy movie, this one delivers for the first few minutes. After that, it loses its charm, if there was any in the first place. This Sharknado spin-off is definitely a disaster worse than any avalanche could ever pull off.

I enjoyed it, taking it for what it was. The sharks were actually scary... decent CGI. Full of hot chicks and guys. All these good looking people are actually decent actors and it makes you realize that making it in Hollywood must be very hard. These people were probably paid subsistence level wages, yet they are better than most actors you see who landed roles on tv shows or on the big screen. Are there anymore movie stars? Just a handful.

A remote ski resort is terrorized by prehistoric man eating sharks after an avalanche. Yes really!

I'm been trying to figure out what makes a good bad movie (Sharknado) vs. a bad, bad movie (Avalanche Sharks)? I mean they're both B movies you watch for a laugh in a so-bad-its-good kinda way. They're also both about equal in terms of acting, direction, plot and special effects. Yet somehow Sharknado was fun to watch whereas Avalanche Sharks was just unwatchable.

In the end I made it through about half of this, I mean I had to see a few attacks, but the CGI is poorly (cheaply) done and while this is just a crappy B movie I still wanted a bit of an explanation as to how/why there were sharks living in the snow -they apparently came from space.

I still had fun guessing who gets eaten first and how; the babes getting it in the hot tub, the dude with the snow blower or the girls running from the advancing fin cruising through the snow.

After the initial curiosity wears off though there's not much left. 01.02.14

Avalanche Sharks is not the worst shark movie out there but that in all honesty is saying very little because it is still a big failure on every level. Avalanche Sharks is a cheap-looking movie, granted yes with beautiful scenery(the only halfway-decent asset) but haphazard editing- to overkill effect in the attack scenes and even lousier special effects. Even toy sharks that you can have displayed in the bathroom are scarier than the shark designs here, which look more goofy and ridiculously over-sized than menacing. The sharks have very little personality either, never do they feel a threat all they do is attack without warning, the movie makes an attempt to explain their origins(which already makes it better than some shark movies out there) but it is written very clumsily and doesn't make sense. Despite all this, the they still manage to be much more likable than the human characters, all of whom are tired personality-deprived stereotypes who just frustrate you with their stupid actions and some not adding anything to the story. Every single one of the characters are terribly acted as well. Not that the writing and story are anything to write home about, the dialogue has a lot of repetition and padded filler and reeks of cheese, while the story is predictable, a mish-mash of ideas barely explored and insultingly ridiculous. The attack scenes range from mild fun, real stupidity and drawn-out boredom, most of which falling into the latter two categories, a couple very abrupt and blink-and-you'll miss them too, none of them tense or suspenseful. You can see them coming a mile away as well, and the conclusion is deeply underwhelming and didn't feel like an ending, the sharks are defeated too easily and too much by chance. To be honest though, I was so bored by the overall movie and so frustrated by the characterisation that I couldn't care less about how it ended. Oh and by the way, if you are looking for a bikini contest like promised you are best avoiding Avalanche Sharks, and if you do you are not missing a thing, that is how bad Avalanche Sharks is. 1/10 for the scenery only. Bethany Cox