Amityville Death Toilet

This was 5 minutes of content stretched out over an hour. There were like 3 actors, a few wacky nonsense things, and the whole thing felt like it was shot on a whim with a phone. This must have been like a 24-hour-make-a-horror-movie-challenge or something. Or a movie made by 12-year-olds with help from their dads. I wouldn't recommend this movie, but I would challenge anyone to watch it! If you enjoy absolutely intentionally awful sub indie horroresque video rambles, then this is for you. It will test your fortitude! Good luck, and may every deity have mercy on your soul. I literally had to take Tylenol after watching this.

You know, 10 minutes into this "thing" (I refuse to give it as lofty a title as "movie" or "film"), I suddenly decided that I should make a movie. Why not? I have no filmmaking talent, but I have an iPhone and some friends who might help out. I will come up with a funny clickbaity title and then just adlib into the camera for 90 minutes while trying to be creative. It will be the worst piece of crap imaginable and people will hate it but a streaming service will still pick it up and I'll make money and maybe it'll become a cult hit so I'll just continue making a series of really terrible "things." Yeah, because if THIS pathetic POS can do it, why can't I?

They could've made an effort and actually written a script and used things like a plot and composition and editing and it could've been fun. But no. I am appalled at what actually makes it onto streaming services I actually pay for. There is literally nothing of redeeming value I can find in this. If you still decide to try and watch it, maybe at least amuse yourself by checking your watch to see just how long it takes before you realize you, too, can make a "thing."