Babysitter Massacre

Just....wow. Grew up in the 80s, watched a LOT of poor quality horror films in my day from bad acting to terrible scripts to massive lack of logic from characters to lack of coherent stories, etc. This film tried to be I guess a nod to those 80s low budget / low end horror movies, so maybe in that respect it achieves what it was going for. I think what it achieved mostly was being even worse that most if not all of those 80s films. Even films like Slumber Part Massacre and The Mutilator from the 80s felt more real than this. So many scenes feel self-contained, shot and spliced into order later but feel like they were instead of you feeling any real actual movie continuity to things. Cut to random girl getting taken and killed. Cut to guy someone inside someone's bedroom right after in a locked house and random girl getting killed, etc etc. Fast guy with very good knowledge of where all these random girls would be that one day. It's like these scenes are tossed into the rest of the movie but aren't part of it almost. Horrific dialogue from basically everyone (maybe two clever lines the whole script) and truly some of the absolute worst acting I've every seen on screen. The 'party' is three girls sitting on couches, one bottle of wine.....no snacks, no music, stretches of silence as they sit there or the blonde one acts like an ass to the others.....great party. The blonde is relentlessly nasty and it's impossible to see how the others would want to be around her for five minutes, let alone her being a friend for any reason. Then they get kidnapped and the Killer tells them they have to kill one of them and he'll let the other two go.....no way that is logical at all, but it takes the blond less than a minute to start whacking the tied up one with a hammer lol. Seriously took seconds to decide to do it lol. There's THREE of you, untie the one and then jump the killer when he comes back. Nah, let's just kill the one friend right away and hope for the best LOL. Ending is even better. The 'main girl' is unable to crawl out of the house with gasoline poured everywhere. Killer is incapacitated behind her. Another friend (worst actress in a sea of horrible acting and boy is that saying something) comes in, decides to not even try to pull her 'friend' away from the gas and killer trying to light the gas as he struggles to use his lighter. Just leaves and runs outside to watch the house burn after he finally gets it lit. LOL. Had plenty of time to drag her out....just doesn't lol. Then it just.....ends. Thud. Blood? Yes. Killer? Good until the unmasking. Gratuitous nudity? For sure. Worth any of it? No. It's cute how many friends of the actors and crew gave this a good score (had to be). Have spent five minutes typing this review, that's more than you should waste trying to watch this movie, but hey, you do you.

I have mixed feelings. For one thing, it goes back to the old fashioned slasher movies, with some updates. Adds more nudity than would have been allowed in the late 1970's-early 1980's, adds a twist with the posting of pictures, but allows the actors to do really dumb things. In some ways, that is infuriating as it degrades the women making them weak. The idea that women have not progressed in over a decade is insulting. It is Halloween, and seven years since there was a terrible murder and it seems the father still hasn't been able to move on from the loss of his daughter. And this strange man with a white bag (pantyhose?) over his head is certainly busy killing off young women. But those at risk, when they have the chance, don't seem to know about 911. So yes, the movie is populated with attractive young actors with lots of nudity, but the story is stuck in the 1980's. So either set the movie in the 1980's, or update the skill set of the victims. They still may not survive, but they might do things differently. The acting is decent for the roles as written.

It's Halloween and some guy is kidnapping babysitters, torturing them, and killing them. He sends pictures of the dead to Erin who thinks they're pictures of Halloween costumes. Years ago Erin and these girls formed a babysitters club. One Halloween night two of them went home and one of them never came back. The surviving girl is traumatized and thinks she sees the killer everywhere, she's now some tough punk chick. Erin is friends with a kind old guy neighbor who's retired and a widower.

This Halloween, Erin's mom leaves for a party and Erin invites three friends for a slumber party. They play the Ouija board to see if they can communicate with the dead girl and find out who her killer is. Punk chick leaves in disgust. It's not long before the killer makes it into Erin's house and takes the three remaining girls. But this time he has a sick proposition for the three. One of them is bound to a chair and if the other two don't kill her he will kill them all. At this point, punk chick returns because she's worried. The identity of the killer is revealed and the reasons for the killings as well.

Babysitter Massacre is a surprisingly strong movie. If you've watched Alternative Cinema's other offerings you know to expect a low budget movie, uneven acting, troublesome sound and poor cinematography. As I was watching the previews I worried as some of them look just like the movies by AC from 10 years ago. But this one is good. Writer/director Cuoto always had potential. His previous work always was a step beyond others of its kind. And I'm glad as years have gone byy the quality of his work has steadily progressed. Babysitter Massacres looks good, has good audio, and good acting for the most part. Not only that but it has a good story and some developed characters. Many filmmakers claim to be horror fans but they give us nothing but sanitized formulaic horror movies. Babysitter Massacre is done in the spirit of the 80s/90s "The ______ Massacre" movies. It has gore, violence, nudity, characters to root for, a striking death scene.

Of course this movie as C horror movie has weaknesses too. Some are expected for the budget and filming conditions. You can always ask for better image/lighting/audio, acting, sets, effects, and so on with these movies. Perhaps more surprising is how short this movie is. Too short. It would have helped to tell us more about the early victims. We only learn about the first one and a bit about another one as well. But the other scenes are just some random girl that's grabbed and put on the victim's chair. The punk chick is a bit to mean and tough, they could have defined her role as the heroine a bit more. Overall a success of a movie and I hope there will be sequels.

You already know if you will like it or not based off the title and trailer. No smoke and mirror show here, this is a straight up slasher movie. In this day and age where anyone with a camera phone can make a movie it is hard to create something on a budget that can truly affect the viewer. Watching this flick, I had the same feeling I had as a kid when renting a big box VHS purely off the title and cover alone. They were always a gamble and usually always a disappointment. Babysitter Massacre is everything I love about slashers...furthermore it is the best slasher movie since the Orphan Killer. Will be watching the director and his works from here on to see what kind of treat he delivers next.

Years ago, on Halloween night, a babysitter was slaughtered -after taking a lovely bath- by a mysterious maniac. She was a member of a local 'babysitter's club". Now, the surviving members are being hunted down and butchered by a psycho stalker with a pair of snow-white underwear on his head.

He sort of resembles the aftermath of the world's most successful wedgie!

The plot of BABYSITTER MASSACRE is basic enough to not interfere with the gushy violence. The characters are walking vacuums with no reason to exist other than to be mutilated. The blood quotient is high, the nudity is non-stop, and the acting is suitably atrocious!

If you pine for the 1980's when ultra-cheeeze like this was at its zesty zenith, then this should fill the void.

P. S.- Anyone who is unable to discern the killer's identity by the 15 minute mark flunks out of slasher school!...