L'Arche de l'apocalypse

It will take 40 days of rain to wash this disaster off of you. The most amazing thing is how the we're about to compile the worst actors on earth all in the same movie. None of the costumes are correct. The captains seats in the Ark are three different office chairs. It will take longer to get over this movie than to watch it.

I wonder how copies of this movie have not all been destroyed upon request from the actors... My favourite scenes in the movie were the ones where it was showing heavy rain, but you can see the clear shadow of lamp-posts and other objects, even the shadow of the actresses hair on their faces. You may also see that while normal people would try and wear something warm/waterproof in a bad storm, for the sake of showing Colonel Nipple's cleavage, she had to wear t-shirts even in the worst weather. And once out of the storm, her hair would be all dry, as well as her clothes. Brilliant! I guess it is actually entertaining catching these golden moments of the movie.

The one and only star I give this shiat is for Christianna Carmine. Yes she can't act but she's cute.

As a true believer in finding the worst films ever, I believe I've stumbled upon my top. I was convinced it was horrible 31 seconds in but stayed to see if it could be worse. Thankfully I was rewarded with more horribleness as the film went on. I'm certain that I'll never find something more horrible yet completely worth the 12 16oz. beers it took me to finish. Without a doubt I'm now slightly trashed and believe I should be reimbursed for the 12 pack of beers it took me to get through the film.

This is a very, very generic disaster movie to make it out from the minds at the people at The Asylum. And if you have already seen just a single other disaster movie at any point, then you have essentially also already seen "40 Days and Nights".

The storyline is a straight out of the how-to-make-a-disaster-movie manuscript. A global storm of biblical proportions hits the Earth, and the survival of mankind rests in the hands of just a few Americans. It has all been seen before.

The CGI effects were ranging from being adequate to being downright ludicrous and horrible to bear witness to. And the constant rain on the screen was the worst; when they used CGI rain, which was quite often, it looked so fake that it was just embarrassing to look at.

There were no famous people in this movie, and for obvious reasons you might add. The acting in "40 Days and Nights" was wooden and stiff, as to be expected from a movie of this caliber.

"40 Days and Nights" is not worth the time or effort, and not really worth the $2 I spent on the DVD. A very typical disaster of a typical disaster movie from the creative minds of the people at The Asylum (or lack thereof).