American Conjuring

I've watched horror movies since I was 5. And this wasn't what I consider horror. It could have been a lot better. However, if you don't have the funds for an over the top horror film then this movie isn't that bad. Yeah the storyline could've been better and the actors could've been better. But my daughter and I enjoyed it.

Only 20 mins in and I'm ready to gouge my eyes out, shove pens in my ears, and then slit my wrists and throat. Ok so the last part was stretching it... Wow, where to begin. Might as well start with the acting, because it's like the singer's voice in a band, it'l make or break it. Yeah this acting shattered it. Just awful...I mean... do they audition these people? Do they just say, "Who's willing to work for free?" K everyone who raised their hand, you're hired! There's a little 3 min news story at the beginning of the movie laying out the history and bad things that happened. Best and only good part of the movie. Laid out a descent horror story. Boy did it fail to measure up. Ok so, I'm gonna finish suffering through this so none of y'all who are smart enough to read reviews before watching movies, can be spared the torture this movie spews out. I'll come back at the end to update and finish this review.

This film was originally called Bind but then they decided to do some marketing scam in conjunction with the Conjuring films. They figured it needed it and they were right. This is one awful movie so if they don't get you buying it by mistake, chances are you won't.

A family moves into a house that used to be an orphanage at one time. Tragic events took place making even more tragic events take place and so on. The film has a few things moving on its own but the crux of the hauntings are more of the spirit taking over someone's body to make them kill. The acting was so bad in this and the ending was one of the worst I've seen in a long time. Avoid this one.

What's most unsettling about this movie is the fact that it was actually made and then distributed. There's bad, and then there's the scary and sad realization that a bunch of adults found everything from the acting to the plot even merely passable. It's like they dug this one up from the bottom of the bargain bin covered with garbage and thought, yeah, let's see if we can offer it to people who are doing a search for The Conjuring but end up streaming this instead, thinking it's just as good. It's like a bout of food poisoning on screen (in some cases, literally.) If this sounds good to you, bon appetit.

Comparing the overacting of the adults to the sheer underacting of the children only adds to this hilariously badly made movie. It looks like it was made by students in iMovie and it isn't even trying to hide it. The scary things that happen in the movie are almost tiny one off details. When photos are included, they are stock photos making the movie look cheap and without a budget. It also looks as if a dark filter has been added to it, as if trying to appear scarier than it is.

This movie knows nothing of real dialogue and suspense, and exists in a state of sheer confusion and random events happening in random order.