Crossbones

Thoroughly enjoyed this pirate saga that has many of the elements of "Pirates of the Caribbean": beautiful shots of exotic Caribbean locales, swordplay, and the kind of plot twists that come from a pair of mischievous Jack Sparrowish characters who both possess a near-endless capacity for on the fly.

In one ring, we have Blackbeard (John Malkovich), who in this alternate take on history, faked his death and is now living large as a semi-peaceful ruler of an off-the-grid pirate kingdom of his own making. His main foil is combination doctor/spy/ tactician/lover Tom Lowe (Richard Coyle) who is originally sent to expose/kill Blackbeard but ends up in an uneasy alliance with the semi-erratic despot. There's also a love triangle between Lowe, free-spirited quartermaster Kate Balfour (I could easily write another paragraph about how enchanting Claire Foy is here) and her handicapped husband (Peter Stebbings).

As for the "Pirates of the Caribbean" comparison (a compare/contrast angle is inevitable considering that is the only other pirate film I have seen), this isn't the movies but an NBC show that's relegated to the summer schedule (AKA low-key filler) so adjust your expectations accordingly. It is worth pointing out, however, that while Johnny Depp anchored the Pirates series with a meticulously crafted iconic comic character in Jack Sparrow Jon Malkovich's humor is unintentional: His interpretation of Blackbeard's accent is suspiciously Malkovich-like (worth mentioning other than the accent, Malkovich is fine here). But hey, written history can only tell us so much about the accents of 18th Century pirates. Maybe Blackbeard did sound like John Malkovich?

As you read on the title, very bad imitation Black Sails. One or two scores higher if they replaced John Malkovich (I don't know if he's famous because he can say a long sentence in one breath, but I consider it dumb), another score if the story was a bit slower to make viewers catch up, and additional scores would be rewarded if actual pirate characters were played.

The ones acting as Blackbeard's henchmen look more like the rogues you see in pirate video games than ones acting out the reality of how pirates were.

I strongly suggest the whole crew leave their capes and gowns and look forward to another season of Black Sails; who knows, maybe they learn a thing or two!

Last but not least, I gave this one a 4 just because of the Caribbean colonial era theming; one of my favorite of all times !

It took few episodes to get interested in the show. A pirate/period drama seemed so out of place in contemporary culture (British series are exempt). Admittedly, I don't watch a lot of TV and have only recently heard of 'Black Sails'.

'Crossbones' grew on me with the very solid acting - 10 stars for most of the leading cast - the writing was intelligent, with high ideals shining brightly through all that history (accurate or not). Richard Coyle and Claire Foy were outstanding. John Malkovich's performance was uneven and that was unfortunate as everyone's eyes were on him. It was a complex role and he could have done a lot with it.

Mid-way through the series, I looked up the reviews. I was curious whether it was building a following. While I didn't think it would (a pirate/period drama built around complex characters set in a peripheral episode in history), coming across an open dislike was unexpected. It seemed that the series was doomed right from the start. It's a shame. I came to enjoy the characters and look forward to the next episode. It was interesting and entertaining, with minor flaws.

I just watched the first episode and I didn't feel the need to go on. I don't care to know what will happen to Mr Lowe, Mr Blackbeard or the other characters of this hasty paced mess.

John Malkovich looks lazy, he just sits and glorifies himself. Richard Coyle on the contrary is hyperactive, trying to overshadow his real rival, Doctor Stephen Maturin, from Patrick O'Brian's 'Master and Commander'. The only pearl is the beautiful Claire Foy, to whom the authors reserved an intriguing role and some very good lines.

The other characters are taken from comic books of the 1930s.

Did you know that Longitude could kill pirates? Socks could harm too.

This show feels very low quality.

* Terrible music. It all sounds like it's electronically produced, and poorly at that. I'd put it on par with video game music from the late 90's.

* Absurd portrayals of women. The men wander around filthy, oily, with a week's stubble, while the women are all pristine, with lovely, shaped eyebrows and good foundation. They're simultaneously objectified and unrealistically powerful.

* Generally mediocre lighting, framing, etc. Everything looks like a small set.

* Simple dialog, spiced up with random, unusual words to make it sound vaguely old-timey. The exposition is laughably bad at times.