Crossbones

This show feels very low quality.

* Terrible music. It all sounds like it's electronically produced, and poorly at that. I'd put it on par with video game music from the late 90's.

* Absurd portrayals of women. The men wander around filthy, oily, with a week's stubble, while the women are all pristine, with lovely, shaped eyebrows and good foundation. They're simultaneously objectified and unrealistically powerful.

* Generally mediocre lighting, framing, etc. Everything looks like a small set.

* Simple dialog, spiced up with random, unusual words to make it sound vaguely old-timey. The exposition is laughably bad at times.

Thoroughly enjoyed this pirate saga that has many of the elements of "Pirates of the Caribbean": beautiful shots of exotic Caribbean locales, swordplay, and the kind of plot twists that come from a pair of mischievous Jack Sparrowish characters who both possess a near-endless capacity for on the fly.

In one ring, we have Blackbeard (John Malkovich), who in this alternate take on history, faked his death and is now living large as a semi-peaceful ruler of an off-the-grid pirate kingdom of his own making. His main foil is combination doctor/spy/ tactician/lover Tom Lowe (Richard Coyle) who is originally sent to expose/kill Blackbeard but ends up in an uneasy alliance with the semi-erratic despot. There's also a love triangle between Lowe, free-spirited quartermaster Kate Balfour (I could easily write another paragraph about how enchanting Claire Foy is here) and her handicapped husband (Peter Stebbings).

As for the "Pirates of the Caribbean" comparison (a compare/contrast angle is inevitable considering that is the only other pirate film I have seen), this isn't the movies but an NBC show that's relegated to the summer schedule (AKA low-key filler) so adjust your expectations accordingly. It is worth pointing out, however, that while Johnny Depp anchored the Pirates series with a meticulously crafted iconic comic character in Jack Sparrow Jon Malkovich's humor is unintentional: His interpretation of Blackbeard's accent is suspiciously Malkovich-like (worth mentioning other than the accent, Malkovich is fine here). But hey, written history can only tell us so much about the accents of 18th Century pirates. Maybe Blackbeard did sound like John Malkovich?

I watched "Crossbones" without any expectations, and only went to give the series a chance because Julian Sands was in it.

And now having stuck with the series for 9 episodes, I must admit that I have been adequately entertained so far, but the entire series is not outstanding. The storyline is interesting, but I had initially expected a bit more action and sea battles. The show is based more about pirates being people as well, putting swashbuckling and generic pirate themes in the background.

I will say that the production value to the series is great and that really helps the series along quite nicely. There is a lot of nice details in the costumes, the scenery (such as buildings and ships), and I thoroughly enjoyed that.

The acting in the series was great, and they had some nice talents put together for the various roles. While I was a bit unsure about John Malkovich as Blackbeard, then I must say that I was surprised, because he really carried the role nicely and brought a very unique quality to the show.

"Crossbones" has been entertaining so far and is well worth a watch.

As you read on the title, very bad imitation Black Sails. One or two scores higher if they replaced John Malkovich (I don't know if he's famous because he can say a long sentence in one breath, but I consider it dumb), another score if the story was a bit slower to make viewers catch up, and additional scores would be rewarded if actual pirate characters were played.

The ones acting as Blackbeard's henchmen look more like the rogues you see in pirate video games than ones acting out the reality of how pirates were.

I strongly suggest the whole crew leave their capes and gowns and look forward to another season of Black Sails; who knows, maybe they learn a thing or two!

Last but not least, I gave this one a 4 just because of the Caribbean colonial era theming; one of my favorite of all times !

I just watched the first episode and I didn't feel the need to go on. I don't care to know what will happen to Mr Lowe, Mr Blackbeard or the other characters of this hasty paced mess.

John Malkovich looks lazy, he just sits and glorifies himself. Richard Coyle on the contrary is hyperactive, trying to overshadow his real rival, Doctor Stephen Maturin, from Patrick O'Brian's 'Master and Commander'. The only pearl is the beautiful Claire Foy, to whom the authors reserved an intriguing role and some very good lines.

The other characters are taken from comic books of the 1930s.

Did you know that Longitude could kill pirates? Socks could harm too.