Agent Beetle

I swear this movie was made by 8 year olds. The director is talentless, the scriptwriter, illiterate, and the actors and actresses couldn't get employment in the hand-held cam porn industry.The fight scenes were outshone by the fight sequences in the old batman series or early star trek series. This movie was the WORST waste of time I have ever engaged in. IF ANYONE involved with this movie is EVER in another movie it is because they were filthy rich and bought their way in. That being said, whoever lined up the end credits did a good job and might have a future as a stenographer. Even if you are as forgiving as me this movie will make you want to search out people affiliated with it and beat them publicly.

First of all I encourage people to download it illegally in an effort to bankrupt these people. I can't believe that the filmmakers, after watching the final cut still believed in it enough to release it, let alone put their names on it. Every facet of this movie showed an astounding lack of ingenuity, every idea old and tired. From the costumes (The Beetle was a navy blue morph-man suite with a pair of snow goggles over the top of it) to the visual effects (which seemed to be directly ripped off of Andrew Kramer's Video Co-pilot) to the acting (which was embarrassing, even by porn standards). Usually I take a guilty pleasure in watching bad movies, where the production standards are laughable but not wholly pathetic. But Agent Beetle has no redeeming qualities, really the only way it could be forgivable is if I found out that it was shot by a ten year old on his mother's camera. Basically it's just pure crap.

I found this by an IMDb search for the absolute worst feature-length films in English available on DVD on Amazon. Currently this sits at #8 on that list, with 1.1 stars. I cannot foresee this changing with more reviews.

Sometimes terrible movies get released, but it rarely shows that the people that made it are used to working in the porn industry. This was an exception, featuring amazing lines of dialogue, like "I'm fast at everything, except sex.", and there's one scene dedicated just to half-naked women on a stage in a club as well. Nothing else happens, just someone walks into a club, some half-naked women walk on stage, then a few minutes later he leaves. The acting throughout, as you may have guessed, is at porn-preamble quality, and the fight scenes are closer replicas of 5-year-olds imitating professional wrestling than actual combat.

Overall, this did not disappoint. It was just as bad as I'd hoped. If you want a terrible film, this is the one for you. Otherwise, still watch it. It has to be seen to be believed.

First of all, if you are reading this you already saw it. It is a bad movie. The fun and the reason to watch is to make fun of it. I had a blast! It is a literal laugh a minute film. The horrible lighting, shoddy set design, and the special effects made on an apple II computer. The script was written on the day. Most of the time you try to edit a movie down. They left the bloated scenes that run four minutes to long.

If you tried to make a movie this bad, you would fail. That is the beauty of bad movies. They actually thought they were making something good.

The acting is on par with community theater. Sadly, I have seen worse movies in the cinemas within the past year.

The review I just made can be considersd art better than this movie