The Corpse Grinders 3

Ted V. Mikels is the director who made a career of making non-movies, no budget exploitation flicks where the titles were usually better than the productions themselves. THE CORPSE GRINDERS was one of his most infamous pictures, about an unscrupulous cat food company using stolen corpses as an ingredient for cat food, thus causing cats to rise up and chow down on their owners.

In the 2000s, people suddenly remembered Mikels's output and decided to make various sequels, spin-offs and remakes of his work. It didn't help that an aged Mikels was still knocking about and still bitten by the film-making bug. If anything these new films were even worse than the (terrible) originals, worse than Troma movies, and THE CORPSE GRINDERS 3 is such a film. I haven't had the (dis)pleasure of watching part two, but this third instalment is so awful that I'm in no rush to do so. Mikels didn't actually direct this one, but he does produce and clearly influenced the proceedings in a big way.

THE CORPSE GRINDERS 3 is basically a remake of the first film, except with an added focus on comedy. The cat food business owners are now a bunch of Italians and most of their scenes are apparently played for laughs, but you can only tell this by the overacting of the protagonists because it certainly isn't funny. None of it is; this is excruciatingly awful, an embarrassment to sit through, and incredibly a sequel that makes the original actually look good.

They finally figured out how to distract you from the fact that the plot and acting are terrible. Have a cast full of people who can barely speak English so the viewer is constantly straining to try to understand them. The new owner of Lotus Cat Food is supposed to be an American but it's clear that he's French and doing a horrible American accent.Anyway, this mess starts with a guy watching the first movie. His cat dies after eating so of course he does the reasonable thing and immediately goes to the cat food factory. Later, he kills his second cat and takes it to the vet and says it has indigestion. I guess that's supposed to be comedy but I didn't laugh.Lotus bought a cat food factory that went out of business and manage to move a large grinder in without the two men who live there noticing. Their boss tells them to fix the machine they have never seen before and they have no problem doing it.There's a big cat festival and some random bikers show up and this movie sucks. Did I mention the people carry lanterns on a chain like it's 1850? I don't even understand the ending. Never see this.

The Corpse Grinders 3 (2012)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

The third film in the series has Lotus Cat Food being controlled by a new manager but the same recipe is being used. Once again people are grinded into cat food but after eating it the cats begin to crave humans.

THE CORPSE GRINDERS 3 is the first in the series not to be directed by Ted V. Mikels but he does serve as the producer here. Director and co-writer Manolito Motosierra adds a few good touches throughout the film but there's still no question that this is another ultra low-budget feature with a familiar theme to the original. At the very least Motosierra made this one here a lot more entertaining than the second entry in the series.

There's certainly nothing ground-breaking going on here but there are some fun moments to be had here. I would argue that the performances are at least fun as the actors appear to be having a good time and they at least bring some energy to the picture. There are also a few funny moments including one where a (fake) cat gets tossed around before being thrown into a microwave. I'd even argue that the laid back and more comic approach made for a more entertaining picture.

With that said, the film still drags a bit even at just 80-minutes and I'd add that there really just isn't much or enough of a story to really keep you entertained the entire time. Still, THE CORPSE GRINDERS 3 isn't the worst film out there. Heck, it's not even the worst of the series.

In Ted V. Mikels' ultra low-budget saga of a small town cat food company that, to avoid bankruptcy, finds a new and cheap source of meat: the local graveyard. When bodies become scarce, murder is added to the menu. Mikels is a talented director and the film is well organized and well-paced, but the pocket-change budget of his film and the severe lack of talent among his players loses any opportunity to really make THE CORPSE GRINDERS an enjoyable film, even as a comedy. The same goes for the first sequel, which rehashed the original's storyline while adding cat-like aliens fighting against dog-like aliens into the mix. But with THE CORPSE GRINDERS 3 (which Mikels exec produced for second-time Spanish director Manolito Motosierra) inherits a competent and spirited cast of actors who give the continuing storyline the kind of natural performances that make the film's macabre humor actually effective. Other than that, it's essentially the same storyline with new set of managers for the Lotus Cat Food Company who face the same kind of problems as did their predecessors. But it's a much more tolerable and even more likable film than the previous pair.