Monster Pies

I know this won't be much of a review. I'm actually still trying to process the movie in my head.

The storyline was absolutely touching, and it's rare that a film actually leaves me in tears at the end, and this has to be the hardest I've cried after a film. Sure the acting could have been better most times, but everything else made up for it. It was such a job well done.

I really do appreciate the fact that an indie film has had such an impact on me. This is definitely something to add to my favourites to watch again in the future.

Again, I have never been so touched by a movie like I have by this one.

Like anyone who has gone through an experience like this, like me, no no never can totally understand what's going on in this movie. While some scenes seem disjointed, the base of the story made me want to watch this movie multiple times. The horrifying ending of the story unfortunately happens way too often in this world. Without giving away the story I can say that I could not stop crying after seeing this. Even if you're not gay, this is a good story to watch to kind of understand what goes through people's mind and how awful things can get for them.

I've been watching lighthearted movies all week, and IMDb suggested this one as similar to a movie I'd just finished. I didn't realize this was quite the opposite of lighthearted, and got sucked into the movie, not caring what direction it took.

The two leads are your regular highschooler types; impulsive, wondrous, and at the same time, guarded. You could tell Mike finally had someone to reach out to, though Will was far too guarded at first. And when they finally got on the same page, that made for magic.

The chemistry between the two leads was undeniable, and I should have seen the inevitable conclusion, giving that the class assignment was about 'Romeo & Juliet'. It still caught me off guard, though.

Yes, it's a sad movie - but in sadness, where you can find hope and not despair, you know that you've connected with your audience. And that's just what this movie does.

Monster Pies isn't a very well made film, but it's terribly moving. Once it gets more exposure, there's no doubt in my mind that it will be seen as an LGBT cinematic treasure. It's an important film for Australia too, a country that has only had brief exposure to gay themes on television and in film (Priscilla being the most notable film). It took me a while to get into the movie, because it was hard to get past the shabby production value. As the leading actors took their stride and developed an infectious chemistry, the romance took off and led me on yet another incredibly moving experience. Isn't it weird though, that a film like this (which is far from great) is one that I'll never forget. It does pack a punch, and it will stay with you.

We follow the life of Mike (Tristan Barr), who is an awkward teenager that works in a video store, and also gets teased about his sexuality. In his English class, Mike gets paired with an attractive new student, Will (Lucas Linehan), who has a manly exterior, but hidden sensitivity. They have to create a modern adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, which forces them to spend lots of time together. As they work on their project, they start having loads of fun and establish a unique connection. It's a coming of age story (which is prevalent in LGBT films), but it's more realistic and moving than most.

From the get-go, it's obvious that this is an extremely low-budget film. The font of the opening credits, and the horrendously performed opening exchange by Mike and his teacher just left me nervous about how the rest of the film would unfold. In the first 5 minutes alone, we're exposed to some of the most frequent romance movie clichés in the movie business. The long first glance, helping each other pick up dropped papers, having to share a book in class, being unintentionally over-enthusiastic about seeing him… trust me, this list goes on.

There are some really off-putting things in this movie. One of them being that Mike works in a Video-tape renting store. No, not DVDs, but videos. I haven't seen a DVD store sell VHS tapes since I was in 5th Grade, so it's a curious sight to behold. Another thing that put me off was the unoriginal comedy clichés, such as the classic "see anything you like" gag. I don't know what director Lee Galea was going for, but this film is so aware of itself. Many of the actors don't know the meaning of the word 'subtle,' the script is filled with moments straight out of other movies, and the choppy and amateur style bugged me. I want to have mercy on this film, but then I just wouldn't be honest to myself and my readers. While this grained on me in the beginning, I really got into the film as it focused more on Will.

On this sea of bad acting and shabby film craftsmanship, floated the revelation that is Lucas Linehan. His performance is the sunshine that turned the film into a really enjoyable one. There are some pretty great moments in the film, and they ALL include him. One of my favourites being when he looks back at Mike in the side-view mirror of the car. It was quick and subtle, but it showed us that Mike is on his mind. All of the moments where they rehearsed their Romeo and Juliet assignment were… extremely heart-warming. I just felt overjoyed at the 'wolfman kiss' scene. They did that really well, and Tristan Barr's facial expression afterwards was his greatest moment in the film.

As time goes on and the story progresses, everything feels so much smoother and more entertaining. The romance develops nicely, due to the chemistry the leads share out of the blue. After the 'wolfman kiss' scene, I really started to get into the character's and their story. The swimming pool scene, which was also cliché to the max, was done exquisitely. I really liked the metaphor they used to describe the two, and the LGBT community. Mike is Frankenstein, who is feared and misunderstood. Will is the Wolfman, who is trying to cope with his change into a monster. The monsters are the LGBT community, who are hunted by the villagers (ignorant and stubborn people: the real monsters). They used this metaphor as a way to recreate Romeo and Juliet, and I just loved it. I'd give it an 'A' if I was an English teacher. The music really impressed me too, ranging from classical scores like Fur Elise to beautiful love ballads by the school dance band. The second half just took flight and became a really solid film. Well, up until the mother exploded at Mike. When it comes to melodrama, it either has to be done perfectly, or not at all.

I felt really moved by the end of the film because of a lot of things. I absolutely adore the message this film sends to LGBT teens, which is to not be afraid any more. It's so important that kids know to come out and be who they are, because this world will never change unless people are honest with themselves. There was a really touching song that played too, which almost moved me to tears. Most importantly, it was because of the moving performance by Lucas Linehan, who was the heart and soul of the film. This isn't a refined film, but its message and emotional impact managed to make me like it a lot.

I'd give it a 7/10, but I'd like to boost its rating up. It deserves far better than a 5.1/10.

Monster Pies is the story of two average, slightly nerdy guys in high school who fall in love and experience practically everything guys have experienced in gay movies since The Boys in the Band - in other words: too much. Too much for THIS movie, anyway. Robert Altman could have juggled this much melodrama, but this is a small movie that staggers under an unnecessarily heavy load.

It's as if Lee Galea, the movie's writer-director-producer-executive producer-editor-etc, had a long list of things he felt compelled to include in his one shot at a feature-length gay movie, and most of them just get shoehorned into the story in places where they don't fit. The result is a painfully clumsy movie, in which the viewer gets slung around from one trauma to the next, with no sense of continuity or understanding of why all this stuff is happening. It's arbitrary, it's tiring, and it makes it very hard to care about these kids, since they live in some slightly skewed universe in which nothing makes sense.

So... why did I give this wreck of a movie five stars? Because of the two kids. Five or six times in the course of this disaster there is such sweet, strong, simple and pure affection between them that it makes all the other crap worth suffering through.

It's like gentle magic. You're wrestling with this movie, trying to enjoy it but finding that an impossible feat, and then Will and Mike look at each other, and say something so tender and so lovely that you can't help loving them.

Only when the two guys are alone together is this movie worth watching, and not always even then. Those few magical scenes last a total of maybe fifteen minutes, and they're scattered through the movie almost at random, like diamonds in a landfill. They make Monster Pies well worth watching, but it's rough going in between.