Tempête solaire : Au péril de la Terre

As I sat down here in 2023 to watch the 2013 disaster movie "CAT. 8", I had actually never heard about the movie, and thus obviously never seen it either. And with it being a disaster movie, of course I was interested in watching it, though I harbored little expectations to the movie, as the majority of disaster movies turn out to be exactly that; disasters.

The storyline in "CAT. 8"m as written by Donald Martin, was actually entertaining enough for what it was. Sure, it was a pretty straight forward, and thus also generic, disaster movie. I mean, you know the outcome of the movie from the moment you start the movie. But the ride from start to end was actually enjoyable for what it turned out to be. Don't expect writer Donald Martin to deliver anything that revolutionize the disaster movie genre, because that was far from the case here.

The acting performances in "CAT. 8" were okay. I wasn't familiar with anyone on the cast list, aside from leading actor Matthew Modine. But I will say that the cast generally put on adequate performances for a movie such as this.

Directors Kevin Fair and Sophie Boyer brought a fair enough movie to the screen, as it is simply a lean-back-in-the-seat-munch-on-the-snacks-and-enjoy-the-ride type of movie. You know what you get here, but the movie proved entertaining nonetheless.

The ending of the movie was predictable, oh so very, very predictable. And that is something I loathe about disaster movies; how a small group of people always manage to pull through insurmountable odds and come out on the other side and save our world when everything seems doomed.

Watchable for what it was "CAT. 8" lands on a five out of ten stars rating from me.

Seeing is believing: hilarious version of Thunderbirds with a team of wooden actors led by a defunct Modine (b. 1959, here with dyed hair) taking the place of the puppets (alas, without Penelope). In this cardboard effort even the interiors and set-designs were lost for words, as were the prozac-fuelled out-of-work white actors pissed as hell that all the decent movies are packed with African Americans professionals and this was their last shot, because they had promised to take their kids to Legoland. Rarely was so little owed to so few for so much, as Winston might have said between cigars and whiskey. But let's dispense with the words, since the Americans' language is one of bullets: Shoot 'em up, Scotty! Thank heavens we can always rely on the USA to save the entire frigging planet, while joining up all of humanity in a chorus of unity, right? This movie is so inept it really deserves 10 stars.

The script isn't that terrible, although I suspect the premise of the film carries it somewhat. It was a shame that it has been so poorly produced.

Every piece of the story is labored and is a perfect example of how modern films are scared to leave anything to the imagination. An example is the scene in what presumably is the White Situation Room or PEOC. The President has just shouted orders at people while repeatedly reminding the viewer that he is the President. He gets a message saying the Nasa Administrator is on the phone, and answers the phone as "President {such and such}". I get it, he is the President.

Tedious.

I'm on a disaster movie kick on YouTube and a lot of movies are great if I use the fast-forward button to get to the 'good parts'. I didn't have to do that much with Cat 8. There were a lot of interesting topics, issues and drama to take in. The basic gist is - don't mess with the sun or you're going to get burnt.

The movie's pace kept the plot moving along so it kept my interest. It's shown in two parts on YouTube and the first one ends in a cliff-hanger. I originally thought that I'd watch the second part the next day, but nope. I stayed up until after midnight, basically binge-watching the entire thing. It originally aired as a television mini-series in 2013, but I'd never heard of it. It was made in the Netherlands, but the language is English so it's all good.

I was really impressed with the special effects, especially when the earth started creating canyons and reshaping the land in certain states. The solar flares were cool, the aurora borealis was fascinating, and the effects of the plasma hits were well done. If I had to rate Cat 8 on the level of disaster, I'd give it a five.

As with all catastrophic movies, there is always a human element - the drama. That aspect is a little tricky because of the typical cliches that are endemic to the disaster movie genre - money, power, ego, romance, betrayals, abuse of power, megalomania, altruism, self-sacrifice, and even blended families. Every single one of these was explored in Cat: 8. Most worked but some, as you can imagine due to the length of the overall film, were a bit drawn out, hence the value of the FF button. As I mentioned above, I didn't have to use it quite that much, which was a pleasant surprise. I enjoyed the interaction with the lead character, Dr. Michael Ranger, and his family and friends; the most important friend being Dr. Jane Whitlow.

With all good movies, there should be a villain everyone can get behind to root for their demise. The villain is extreme because even in the midst of the world's potential end, the villain refuses to repent and instead doubles down on their chosen path and does dastardly things to ensure it. It takes the intuition of one person of importance that gives a viewer hints of hope that all is not lost. It created some moments of solid suspense and nail-biting.

The main romance is between Dr. Ranger's daughter and her boyfriend. Dr. Ranger does not like the man his daughter is dating at all, and I had no problem picking up on those cues. There were scenes where I thought his dislike made him out to be a real jerk and I didn't like him for that. As I watched Tim, the boyfriend, be all heroic and like, I was sure that the good doctor would warm up to him. Be prepared to hold your breath for quite some time. It kind of took the "you're not good enough" cliché a bit too far. But it IS a disaster movie after all.

On the whole, Category 8 (CAT. 8) is an epic disaster movie worthy of its genre. Make sure you have plenty of time to view the whole thing in one sitting. I am glad I stayed up late to view the entire movie in one shot as it kept the continuity of the energy, drama and intensity dialed up for my thorough enjoyment.

I watched this film yesterday with queasy disbelief. The simple fact is that nothing - but nothing - can fly between the earth and the sun in less than 8 minutes.

That isn't susceptible to "as far as we know", either. It is the basis of one of the most tested, verified and successful scientific theories of all time.

Even if a massive CME had been caused immediately by the incoming glittery beam of science-stuff, it could not have reached the earth in less than 16 minutes. And the sun is so big that like a big container ship, it doesn't exactly turn on a sixpence. By the time anything happened, the affected part of the sun would have turned away from the earth, and the CME would have missed.

I would have had a lot more respect if there had been an "omigod" moment and a prediction that something nasty was coming in, say, 24 hours, and the film wouldn't have had to run for 24 hours to show it either.

This is only one little point in a film I begrudge having spent the time to watch it. IMO it is a turd sandwich with really thin slices of bread either side.

Saying, "hey, it's just SCIENCE FICTION, Negative Nancy" does not relieve the film of the responsibility to have at least one foot planted firmly in plausibility. They could have done this properly at no greater cost, with no impact on the story, and I would have given them kudos for having done so.

No plausibility, no kudos. This film's nonsensical trashing of the scientific method does not render it any the more entertaining. It's just sloppy, rushed-looking and tedious.

I shan't be watching it again.