Cinquante nuances de Grey

There was absolutely no chemistry between the main actors.

The sex is about as sensual as a log of wood thrown on the road.

The sets and art direction are excellent and create the perfect ambiance.

The music is all right in terms of theme and pacing.

She was irritating and there were way too many close-ups of her. Neither her features nor her mannerism could hold it.

He was every bit of gorgeous, but with a rather wooden performance; no pun intended, because he's as sensual as last year's sock.

Will I be watching Part II ? NAY.

Will I be reading any of the books ? NAY.

I don't want to spoil a lot, so ill just give ratings with a brief description on certain elements of this so-called "film".

Acting; 3/10. The acting was misplaced, awkward.. not to look at. At least convince us you're an intense guy, Mr. Grey.

Plot: 1/10. that wasn't a plot for a normal movie, it was a plot for soft-core porn.. which had as terrible acting in it as real porn.

Camera work/scenery/etc. 7/10 for what it is.. great camera work i guess and good scenery

Romance; 2/10. I've seen the notebook... that's romance. This is a poor attempt to romance. It tries to tell you they're madly in love, but it's just a weird sexual relationship.

Drama: 1/10. there is no thrill.. no intense things going on. There is no drama in this soft-core-erotic-drama.

"The deeds" 10/10.. they did it. so.. can't give it any lower points than this.

Overall, it's was horrible acted, plot-less, non-romantic nor drama movie about a girl being horny and the guy doing an attempt of BDSM, which comes down to.. soft-core.. almost nothing different than normal sex with bondage.. boring sh*t.

on that note, go watch the kings man; secret service. that's one of the best action movies i've seen in a while!

This movie, clearly sucks, I personally couldn't recommend it to anyone, it's cringe asf the acting is well, not so good it's pure cheesy garbage.

Wow I'm really surprised at all the low ratings. I liked the film which I was quite shocked about because I hated the books. Everybody's complaining about the film but it's exactly the same as the books just LESS sex and degrading if you ask me. I mean what did you expect?! It's what the book is all about.

Also, what's this about rape? At no point in the film did I see anybody rape anyone..

I agree it's not romantic but I personally wasn't expecting a romantic chick flick when I knew it was about a man who enjoys inflicting pain for sexual pleasure..

I was in the mood for a great film about a young girl who meets a successful and seductive businessman with sexy results. This was not the case. This film was purely awful. No one can blame me for not being in the right frame of mind for the cinema, as some reviewers are. They see a film and end up having a bad night and they put the entire blame on the film, this is not the case for me. I was in a positive frame of mind, and really in the mood to see what I thought would be a somewhat good if not better than mediocre film.

This film is about two people who have no chemistry "falling" for each other. "Falling" like off a three story balcony leaving you without the use of your legs for the rest of your life. I'm just going to be blunt. This film is about GLORIFYING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and a little girl in over her head who tolerates it. The man in the relationship, Chris, in a career-ending performance portrayed by Jamie Doormat, is a control-freak who must be in control in everything he does, including the life of his BDSM buddy, Ana.

Not only does he creep onto her, HE BEATS HER, non-consensually while they have intercourse, he stalks her, HE INTIMIDATES HER and he shows no love for her. If this were any other film, he would be the antagonist. If you're in the mood for a movie that shows what true love is, I suggest you see Mrs. Doubtfire, as that film is about a loving family man who shows his dedication and support to his wife, even after they are separated, and his children, by dressing up as an elderly female babysitter.

50 Shades of Brown gets 1/10 stars from me as I am unable to give A BIG FAT ZERO.