Marry F*** Kill

Funny - my name is Kosmas and I did a short movie called MFK - the K standing for my name, the other two letters ... well you can figure that out yourself I assume! That said, no pun intended. Also I'd like to believe that while the cinematography is way better here, I did an overall better job, when it comes to suspense and story and characters.

But let's leave that aside, if you like horror movies, low budget ones at that, you may find quite a few things you will like here. Acting is ok or decent, the story easy to follow. The twists interesting but predictable - especially towards the end. Will it be enough for you? That's up to you to decide ...

Seriously. Tubi, we need to talk. You need to stop with the whole "Tubi originals" thing. They're bad. Really bad. Laughably bad. Terror Train was an insult to the original, but it was better than this. This is what happens when a cheap as it gets production company makes a movie so bad Lifetime Movie Network doesn't want it. Noy one thing about this is adequate: the script is eyeroll inducingly poor, the acting is as wooden as the lumber section at Lowe's, and the director mails it in. Who could blame her, really? The first two acts are quite poor but the real craptactular is saved for act three, which features some of the mist hilariously inept makeup effects of all time. Avoid.

That's 1 hour and 30 minutes I'll never get back.

I can only pity the director, who did her best with what she had to build on - that being a poorly written (and unfinished) synopsis. However, we've seen this genre of camp 'horror' SO many times that the ending could be turned into a game in itself: 'Which of 100 monkeys on typewriters can come up with ANYTHING to add an actual conclusion to this dire excuse for a movie?' Sorry, but no self-respecting B-movie fan would get a kick out of this. It's not even worth a spoiler ... They haven't put anything IN this to spoil.

Acting ... Great (except the stereotype-aunt).

Directing ... She did her best with what she had.

Effects ... (available from any joke shop).

To paraphrase the title ... ' Avoid, avoid, AVOID!

The lighting isn't bad, which is normally why I give such low ratings. In this case it's more like they had a bucket filled with penny actors that they grabbed a few out of, a hat full of tropes that they grabbed out a handfull from, a direct out of college director, and a dash of taking themselves too seriously. It's quality is on par with the fifth 'direct to VHS' in a franchise.

But, at the end of the day I wanted to watch a horror movie named * Marry Kill, and this was pretty close. Plus it got my wife to keep saying a name from Supernatural in a southern accent, so that was entertaining.

When a film is described as a TubiTV original...you know it's probably going to be bad.

So I fully expected this was going to be much worse than it actually was.

Especially considering the title, and introduction of the film.

Plotwise, we have a group of friends returning to a house, where their friend killed herself in a demonic ritual, after having a mental breakdown, when her boyfriend convinces her to participate in an orgy (when she wanted to wait to have sex when they were married).

With, whatever dark force she unleashed, on the prowl, to reap vengeance, in her name.

This demon proceeds to possess his female friends, bang him, and then kill them...as sacrifices meant to bring back his once beloved deceased lover.

It turns out, both individuals came from a family of witches...whom shared a connection as partners in a past life.

Whose union has been foretold to bring forth the antichrist.

The whole thing is rather simply shot.

Which, for a TubiTV original, works in it's favour, as opposed to detriment.

No doubt, it's still a pretty lame film.

But I, personally, expected it to be way worse.

So colour me pleasantly surprised.

Because, while the acting is rather mediocre.

The storyline is actually not too bad.

With a couple twists that actually work in the end.

Thus, as far as films that end up going straight to TubiTV...this is among one of the better films of the class.

3.5 out of 10.