Amityville: Maison des horreurs

My expectations for any new movie with Amityville in the title are generally low, and knowing this one was brought to us by a free streaming service I figured it would look low budget. And I was right, it does, and the script is nothing more than serviceable, paint-by-numbers, haunted house horror fare. The set-up is minimal before things begin going bump in the night, and the swift pacing remains fairly consistent throughout the brief 90-minute runtime. What works best here is the cast, each of whom had to realize this project would be nothing more than a marginal paycheck. They all turn in credible performances considering the rather thin writing. A no-harm, no-foul Amityville movie that does nothing more than pass the time on a rainy day.

I gave it a 3 for the effort. I been sitting through low budget films as a birthday challenge. Never watched a Tubi original film. My problem with it calling itself a "Original" film, is that it wasn't original. There's a crap ton of Amityville remakes and Murder house types, that if u saw 1 you seen them all. I gave it propr for not waiting on kills, but the intelligence of the other characters was highly questionable. People started dropping like dead flies n they kept choosing to stay? Yeah right! I would've be looooooong gone! They do the usual: hire a youtube ghost hunter, then a priest and yeah they all pay the price but they stay in house like the ghost is their home dawg. Movie also waste a big chunk on a couple arguing about the EX still there and obviously still in love with the guy.

Acting is ok for B movie area.

The deaths are generic at best. Nothing creative.

The ghost? They look like super low budget. Like they used 2D image n layered it on top of the film. It had some fxs but nothing to write home about.

By then end on the movie i wished i had a beer in me. This movie is cringe worthy. You like low budget, eh story and just want to burn through a couple hours of boredom or u want to have some background noise while u do shores? This is for u. I walked out a couple times and didn't miss a thing. Lol.

The main characters fan girl over the lore and history of the house, taking away from unexpected terror. We know exactly what to expect with this movie. There is no build up to the suspense and you can expect supernatural occurrences at the start of the film. The story takes too long to really tell us any significant background on the group of friends to get us to like them enough to care about their pending demise. When the spooky stuff begins, it's more childs play with no direction. It's jump scare after jump scare. The CGI is very low quality and I feel like there were things they could have done practically with the use of effects makeup.

A year or so ago, I decided to binge watch all the Amityville Horror films, or that is, the related-type films to that 1979 original that I could remember seeing in video stores back in the day and find those same movies that went directly to videocassette in that amazing era of the late 1980s through the 1990s.

These were the films that never went to the theater, and were never intended to do so.

Oh, they were all stupid. Every single one of them. All found mostly on the fantastic channel of Tubi (Love Tubi!) All films weak as expected, not scary, with bad story, and mostly poor performances, but still charming in a way with young, up and coming actors, or older actors just trying to stay busy or relevant. I even watched the 1990 version with the exact same title as here, and another version about a haunted lamp, yes, haunted lamp (Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes) it was by and far the worst, and yet neither of these films were close to as bad as this.

This is awful.

Miserable.

It's boring.

Bad acting.

Worse editing. (In the beginning, I couldn't tell if they were moving in or out)

It's bright. Yes, bright. The whole movie is way too lit (and not in a good way!) You can tell they were probably filming at night but blasting in spotlights through the windows to make it look like daytime.

People die unexpectedly and horrifically and none of the characters are frantically trying to reach emergency services or call anybody. Where's law enforcement? Family members and relatives afterwards? A funeral?

The human relationships are unbelievable, from friends to roommates to lovers. There is no chemistry amongst any of the parties involved.

Hey, I know this is low to no budget and it's Amityville #376, but that still doesn't exclude all of the above crimes if not transgressions.

As a matter of fact, this is where those little things like believability and emotional investment could have flourished here on screen.

In searching for this new title of this long, long, longtime franchise, unbelievably (maybe not so unbelievably) I came across other, more intriguing titles than this, such as Amityville Karen (Yes.), and Amityville in Space (Also, a definitive yes.) So, skip this chapter, either watch the 1990 film of the same title (which is so bad, it's good-this is just plain bad-there's a difference!), or watch one of these more interestingly titled recent productions.

We all know this infinite trail of silly sequels will never terrify as the original did.

But this 2023 Amityville Curse is not a horror film, and should you describe it as such to your friends in discussions, when mentioning horror, please place it in air quotes.

I will also note here that I would gladly contribute to any group funding of a future production of Amityville Karen In Space.

Another Tubi original that fails to entertain or keep me watching the movie. Struggled to get through the hour and a half running time. Actors don't do a great job, the director doesn't do a great job, and the writers didn't do a great job. Starting to lose hope that there are any originals on Tubi that aren't z level schlock.

Giving the film two stars, which is kind of harsh but I'm getting burned by too many shoddy films. I force myself to sit through them in the hopes that something will shift later on. That almost never happens. If a movie is riding on an old actor or a popular name for people to fork over their time, it's never worth that time.