Christmas Bloody Christmas

What a deeply unpleasant bunch of people inhabit this town. Pretty much every single character can't complete a single sentence without punctuating it with the f-bomb several times a syllable. Their interaction with each of their companions gives the word 'shallow' new depths of meaning. And when the Robot Santa begins his reign of axe-fuelled mayhem, you find yourself hoping that every one of the cast are gathered in one room so the slaughter will be quick and thorough, and we can present Robot Santa with a well-earned cup of tea and a medal for rescuing us from such a vacuous bunch of idiots.

I watched a couple of absolutely horrible horror movies back to back to back and finally got something good from this one.

Cinematography - Had no idea Joe Begos was the director, from the director of Bliss and VFW comes another visually stunning flick. If I was rating this purely based on the visuals it would've easily been a 9.5/10. Very beautiful aesthetics, angles, colors, nailed it once again. I recognized a familiar pattern while watching the movie.

Plot - It's pretty straightforward, the only complaint I have is about cutting one character short too early in the movie(in my opinion). I'm keeping it spoiler free but that's about it. Easy to digest and without major holes.

Acting - Riley Dandy killed it. No clue who she is, just checked her IMDb page but she was superb here. Very convincing and carried the entire movie by herself.

I'm going to go with 6/10 simply because it dragged a little towards the end and was a pretty simple film. Intense but not in a way VFW or Bliss were. Enjoyable simple film nonetheless for the horror lovers <3.

In "Christmas Bloody Christmas," the military-industrial complex has created a killer robot Santa. The movie begins with a series of fake TV ads for Christmas-themed promotions and events, and it's clear that something is going to go wrong with the RoboSanta+. The story follows disenchanted record store owner Tori Tooms as she fights against the evil robot Santa.

Unfortunately, the movie fails to improve once the deadly elf shows up. The action and kill scenes are muddy-looking and the 16mm cameras used for most of the filming are not effective. The best parts of the movie are the early scenes between Tori and her employee, Robbie, where they have a believable and tedious edge to their conversations.

Overall, the movie struggles to make the characters' seasonal disenchantment seem more real than the high-concept circumstances. The swear words, pop references, and counter-cultural poses that define Tori and Robbie's relationship are perfunctory and do not add to the story. While the writer and director clearly has affection for the characters, it is not enough to save the movie.

The premise sounded worth a watch on a Saturday night. It was never going to be vintage Spielberg but nor should it have been this bad. It should have been fun and at the very least it should have been passable entertainment.

Stopped watching after half an hour as it quickly became unwatchable. It made no sense whatsoever, the acting is embarrassingly bad, the script is puerile and unimaginative. Someone should be banned from movie making for this.

All of that is a broadly polite way of saying that the positive reviews on here are fake. No one is watching this and thinking it's good or in any way redeemable. They're simply posting to convince you it's worth parting with your cash for. Don't fall for it.

This movie has to be taken with much more than a grain of salt, because it doesn't ask to be taken seriously.

So when an Christmas decoration - which was a plastic Santa Clause which mysteriously came to life - you know it's not going to be a serious movie.

There was no magic, no spells, just a very brief news flash talking about those particular decorations are being recalled.

It didn't say why.

What I saw was just a pretty 2 dimensional Santa with a plastic face that just said "HO-HO-HO" as you walked past it.

But then suddenly, and for absolutely no reason whatsoever, it comes to life a starts killing people with a variety of weaponry.

I could easily sit here and talk about how a decoration witch a motion sensor and a few phrases installed become self aware and immediately decide to murder people in the most horrific ways, but I won't.

I've got my handful of sand.

There's no storyline, it's just a horror thrown out in time for Christmas, and it's amusing enough.

But the T-800 Santa ain't playing games. I think he might very well be Cyberdine.

Because thus dude is relentless. He is a killer. He will not stop until he has completed his mission John Connor!

Yeah, so an anamatronic Santa that wasn't anamorphic, maybe in the head.

But basically he's out to kill everyone he sees... I don't know why and probably never will!

I'm not going to put spoilers in, because I don't think there are any.

You could probably read the bits I've written in a synopsis.

I love horrors.

I don't even care if they're dumb like this one.

I just love a horror.

Don't expect too much from this movie, because it does get more and more ridiculous. But I just killed 1:27:01 watching it.

It's definitely no masterpiece. But who cares?

Ho-Ho-Ho!