Keith Lemon: The Film

Without a doubt the worst film I have ever had the misfortune to spend my money on. From the trailer, I expected it to be pretty bad, but friends convinced me to go and it was one of the worst decisions I've made in a long time. Within 5 minutes I wanted to leave. But as I was with friends and had spent a total of £13.60, I swallowed back the vomit and forced myself to endure this mind-numbingly awful film. The "jokes", if you can even call them that, were immature and not even slightly clever, just some of the phrases Keith Lemon uses on Celebrity Juice thrown in randomly.

My girlfriend and I spent most of the film discussing who would be the one to shoot the other one in the face, before blowing their own brains out. It was horrible. A couple of cheap laughs, but I could have got that for free on YouTube. I think a couple of lucky people actually left during the film.

I just hope that I can watch Celebrity Juice again without horrifying flashbacks that will have me rocking back and forth in a pool of my own sick.

Wow...

This is the worst movie I've ever seen!!!

I'm a big fan of Keith Lemon and went to watch this film with an open mind but could not believe how shocking everything was.

The acting was cringe worthy throughout, storyline was even worst, it was like a cheap version of Austin powers with a script an 8 year old had put together at school.

We was going to leave cinema 20 minutes into the movie but thought things "might" improve, but unfortunately we were very wrong, the outtakes at the end of movie were better than the actual movie.

Be warned!!!!!!

I though I would never see a film as bad as Macgruber, but I was wrong. Keith Lemon The Movie, is the worst piece of "celluloid" I have witnessed.

As others have said, Celebrity Juice - Brilliant, but this film could actually lose Leigh Francis fans. The script lacks any direction and seems as if everything was ad lib'd but very poorly done. Leigh Francis should have spoken to Sacha Baron Cohen before doing this and consulted with him for the actual movie. SBC knows how to take a sketch character & create a film, Leigh Francis obviously doesn't. The celebrities in the film were not used as they should have been and some scenes were so predictable that I could have sat at home and imagined it exactly how it would pan out.

Best part of the film are the bloopers at the end and the star of the film is Nina Wadia (Mrs Mahsood from Eastenders). Without her character, the film would not have raised one single grin from me let alone a laugh.

If you pay money to see this film, do yourself a favour & give the cost of the tickets & popcorn to charity as it would be better spent!

I went to see this film because I was fascinated.

I don't think I had ever seen such appalling reviews anywhere before. Every now and again you get a 0% score on rotten tomatoes but even then it's rare for everyone to actively hate a film in the way that people have hated this one.

Like a lot of people on here, I am a massive fan of Celebrity Juice and I just couldn't imagine that it could be that awful. Was there some kind of conspiracy? The answer is no. There's no conspiracy. It really is that bad. It's so bad that watching it gave me the kind of red neck that you get when something appallingly embarrassing is happening but there's nothing you can do about it. I couldn't look at the other patrons in the eye on the way out. It was like we'd all just watched sex with a domestic animal and now felt unbelievably ashamed. I don't know why I didn't walk out really - except that I wanted to say I had seen it, perhaps because I wanted to be able to review it fairly...

So anyway, it's bad film. I can try and write synonyms for bad but I think that others have probably done that better than I could here.

The reason I have created this profile to write this review is because I think there's something a little odd here on IMDb. Has anyone noticed the 10 star review by smr1-466-127649? 10 stars? No one could possibly give that film 10 stars. Not even a 12 year old who might well laugh at some of the more puerile stuff could possibly give it 10 stars.

Clicking on smr1-466-127649's profile we see that he has reviewed 2 films, both in the last 2 days, both hilarious revisions of two of the worst movies in the last 5 years. He gives Last Airbender 7 stars (OK he's not someone who gives awful movies 10 stars for the sake of it) and then goes on a rant about Keith Lemon and how much he's being victimised by people.

Surely the only person who can feel like this is someone associated with the production of the movie. On a day when E J Ellory is outed as having written reviews of his books on Amazon I do hope we're not seeing something similar here on IMDb.

Perhaps the most weird thing about this whole affair has been Leigh Francis's own reaction to the reaction. Scanning through a couple of episodes of CJ, it's clear that he thinks the film is really something. On his twitter account, he describes going to the premier (and actually watching that tripe with other human beings)as being "like a dream". (Fans of In Bruges will find this very funny.)More worryingly, he seems to demonstrate the kind of misogyny that his character Keith Lemon uses (presumably ironically) with his friends Wiloughby and Cotton on normal members of the viewing public - calling one girl who doesn't like him a "horse". Not cool. In addition to that, he goes into a kind of twitter strop, flouncing away for four days before coming back and abusing others who say that his film is awful.

I hope we're not seeing someone have a small breakdown over the critical reaction to his work. If so he needs to get a grip and accept that what he has produced is excrement. It's nasty, homophobic, small minded and if he thinks that Keith Lemon is the remotest bit sympathetic he needs to have a good think about his values in life. This is a terrible film and perhaps he would do well to acknowledge it somehow.

This was a terrible movie from the word go, I went with a friend to see what it's all about and though the cinema was respectfully packed, it dwindled to almost complete 0. Only did it get an empty attendance when me and my friend left, giving up after 20 minutes. The sordid jokes, vomit etc, are reserved for sites like YouTube where frankly the style of quality of comedy in some self made videos are far superior to this.

It's not the first time that a British comedian has tried to make a movie about themselves but even Russell brand and 'boart' made their movie projects with some wit and writing that doesn't rely on running dead jokes and gags. For a movie it appears insultingly cheap from set, prop to cast.

And to show how desperate this movie is, they have a PR agency giving it a 'wonderful' review under the account 'thefleece2' It really is a sign of desperation or of bad ego to have your own team to self-review and exaggerate the quality of your own product.

What I don't understand is how money gets wasted on projects like this.

This is a strong contender for worst British film for this year and perhaps one of the worst of the year entirely.