Les sept jours de Noël

It is usually great to see Ms Fish in these roles 20 years since her child actor days on Aussie soap Neighbours - that is the legacy of soaps, love or hate the plots, they are great training ground for cast and crew alike. However, this character was too unlikeable at the start for me to continue - I get it, she is consumed and snowed-under at work, and that is perfectly realistic, but it just isn't fun to watch, especially in the chaos of the festive season. Most likely, we see a softer side as the movie develops but life is short and I didn't want to hang around to find out. I look forward to the star's next movie.

If you're lonely during the holidays, it isn't a bad thing to be watching these things.

In my case, I had a nervous system issue that kept me bedridden for a few days with enough energy to click on this through Amazon Prime.

It could've been some of the pain medication. But the haziness of the flick and the simple format was inviting.

The story is about Kim Jones (Rhiannon Fish) who is very consumed with her work, and whose boyfriend/potential fiance recently dumped her. She is whisked away by her Mother to relax during the holidays to this "special" retreat. The place is run by Rae (Carly Fawcett) whose big city brother Mark (Clayton James), just lost his job and is going up to the retreat to re-evaluate his life. The retreat is Christmas themed and the two big city folk are stripped of their electronics to do Christmas-y stuff.

Yeah, you see where this is going.

Rae is on the retreat because she wants to prove to her boyfriend that she can change. Mark's intentions are just to figure out what he wants to do in life.

We also discover that the lodge/retreat is going through financial hardships (dun dun DUN!). Call me a nut, but maybe it's because they can only take 8 people at a time, in a one week span. Logistics aside, we go through the rudimentary Christmas tasks that the retreat gets these people to do.

Baking cookies in movies have got to be dullest thing ever. Regardless of how you try to spice it up, it's mind numbing to watch any form of it. Including a predictable flour fight. Bah!

Mark and Rae obviously grow closer to together. What I do like about this flick is the very distinct personalities between the two. Though Mark is rigid and stern, Rae acts more like the Tasmanian Devil at life. One of the more convincing romantic chemistry in Christmas flicks. Credit to the actors

Overall though, the tone of the flick is upbeat. There's nothing offensive about it. Unless you're an atheist, in which case, they lean on God here a lot. I mean a bunch. Of course this is faith based funded. And, guys in Hollywood, faith based people do have a ton of money. It's just not spent for all the fun stuff. Sex, drugs and rock and roll.

It's spent on corny flicks like this.

The premise is one of the more common ones if you combine retreat themes with fleeing to hometown. Kim's boyfriend dumps her so she retreats to make herself more lovable. Mark gets fired and retreats to his sister's camp. The Christmas retreat is by definition a week of all the typical Christmas activities. The conflict, climax and ending are more things following the checklist. There are no great highs or lows or surprises.

Both leads, Mark and Kim, are unlikeable in the beginning. Kim is a real brat. Obviously the main theme of the story is that both of the main characters reform. Even after Kim changes, the immature girl is still there and her spontaneous decisions reflect that. This canceled for me any enjoyment from watching their relationship bloom.

The acting and dialogue are OK maybe even good.

6.9 stars.

The idiom "fish out of water" applies here, simply because she has been cast into a subpar film. She is the Fish that is trying to survive a perfectly average and totally mundane script. This film starts a few degrees off course, which was actually refreshing with the slightly different sorts of music and transitions and plotlines. The direction seemed to be even a bit on the original side for a while, but then it just merges into a normal run-of-the-mill Hallmark-esque film, meeting the usual standards of Christmas contests and treats and characters that are all impossible to distinguish one from another. Oh well, but Miss Fish is always a bonus, so this movie gets an extra half a star for her appearing in it; otherwise this would be a 6.4.

The Christmas Retreat (2022) -

At the beginning of this film it was really difficult to warm to either of the leading characters, Rhiannon Fish as Kim or Clayton James as Mark, because they were quite obnoxious and acting quite over the top. He was smug and she was cocky and their constant competition was just irritating.

I didn't mind Clayton James to look at, but he was no Luke Macfarlane or Jesse Hutch. Rhiannon Fish was just incredibly annoying though.

The supporting cast were no better - The Mother, Mary (Lynn Whyte) was too good for the weird Ted (James MacDonald), but she was a bit dodgy too. I didn't think that they blew the budget on actors that was for sure.

The narrative followed the standard formula and really didn't add anything new to it. A lot of it was just daft and the script could have been recycled from a thousand other films that the director, producer and writers had all obviously seen, because it was all quite basic, with no outstanding acting performances or artistic filming. Even the humour was forced and "Subtle" at best.

As another reviewer commented, it really was a tick list of snowball fights, gingerbread houses, ugly jumpers and wreath making. There were actually a lot of moments of nauseating schmaltz and moralistic realisations too and the production wasn't helped by the music in the background either.

By the end I really wasn't bothered who ended up with whom, because I didn't like any of them, except maybe Rae (Carly Fawcett), but even she needed to get rid of her partner Ivan (Vincent Ross), who was a knob.

This will not be featuring on my rewatch list.

429.03/1000.