Bride Hard

A Movie who's Producers told 15 mins into filming had to shift from an R, to a PG, for some reason.... At the start Rebel's all head shots, then she just punches people for 90 mins.

1. It is rated R, but they censored "pu**y" eight times.

2. Barely any one dies, after like the first 4, why?

3. We don't care about the bad guys attempted character development at the very end.

4. Her blood+scratches are so inconstant 5. She never uses any guns, because why?

6. Gold bars weigh 30 lbs!

7. The magical suction tube powered by swamp boat Fan?

8. Shooting a cannon BACKWARDS by corking the end (What is this Bugs Bunny?) 9. Her agency is the "5 eyes"???

10. Knock off Awkwafina Impression 11. Discount David Schimmer 12. None of their dressed get torn or dirty!

13. Chris did all this because he wanted to prove his fathers innocence, but.... " did it" 14. Chris approaches 15 guys with guns, firing up into the air and lives 15. Bad guys don't collect the 4 rings immediately because???

16. Accidentally blowing up the house.

As Rebel says "This AB-solutely sucks!"

I love Rebel Wilson and this film has such a stellar supporting cast, but the script is a stinker with so many plots holes and characters making choices that make no kind of sense... it becomes impossible to suspend disbelief and truly enjoy the film as an over the top action comedy.

You'll find yourself asking "Why would they DO that?" at every single choice everyone makes. That would work if the choices were campy or had some kind of comedic payoff, but they don't.

Why do the villains roll up on a wedding in a fleet of AIRBOATS - arguably the loudest water craft imaginable? Why does a woman shoot a blowdart bullet at another woman in the middle of a dance number, and why would a man who sees it happen find that an impressive and charming reason to hit on her? Because of reasons, I guess.

The whole film is just a contrivance of ideas taken from 100 others, and the mismash it leaves you with is a great background noise moment when you're vaccuming.

Super Secret Agent can't balance her work life and her friendship with soon-to-marry friend. Luckily, bad guys crash the wedding and she'll have a chance to redeem herself.

... Well, that was terrible, and I felt somewhat embarrassed by everyone involved.

There's just too many things to complain about! From "actors" with terrible delivery constantly spouting terrible lines and talking non-stop, while nothing of note is being said. Emotionally flat throughout. A lot of scenes without a payoff or fun elements. Action is mostly dull. The mismatched sound choices.

The positives? The production is decent, and that's it.

Can't, in good conscience recommend this to anyone. It's probably out there with the worst movies I've seen this year.

Bride Hard swings for a Die Hard at a wedding, but often misses the mark.

The premise is gold: a former special forces operative, Sam, battling mercenaries at her best friend's nuptials. Yet, this promising setup frequently devolves into a comedic misfire, landing a lukewarm 5.5/10.

Rebel Wilson takes the lead, but the casting feels like a missed opportunity. While she commits, the role perhaps demanded a different blend of action grit and comedic subtlety. The film leans too heavily into broad slapstick, blunting the impact of its genuinely decent action sequences. Moments of cleverness are quickly drowned out by predictable gags, preventing the movie from ever truly soaring.

This felt like a concept with untapped potential. It's watchable, offering fleeting laughs and some competent fight choreography. However, its comedic approach is often clumsy, and the overall execution lacks the sharp precision needed to elevate it beyond a forgettable diversion.

A tighter script and a more refined comedic touch could have turned this into a memorable action-comedy; instead, it's merely a hard try.

It's sad what passes as 'comedy' this days.

I've watched it so that YOU, dear reader, don't have to.

It's like Bridesmaids and Die Hard had a baby. But they were both on substance abuse during that time. Action doesn't work, comedy doesn't work, it's chaos in worst possible way.

Some, rare jokes work, but 90% of "humor" is embarrassingly bad, forced and without any chemistry whatsoever. Without spoiling anything, it feels like bad parody of a bad parody at times.

That takes me to chemistry; Rebel Wilson does try to put some heart into it, but again, term that goes through my mind since I watched it - FORCED.

So, does it pass to kill some time? Only if your bar is low and your popcorn's salty.

Re-watch some 90s or early 2000s comedy instead.