Cabin Fever 3

Well, while the other "Cabin Fever" movies were entertaining, then "Cabin Fever: Patient Zero" was just too much. Sure there were some nice moments here and there, but it was just like the entire movie was directed by a randy teenager.

The storyline was adequate, didn't really always make coherent sense, but it was enjoyable. The movie doesn't require you to have you brain on while watching, so just sit back and relax.

The story, roughly summarized, is about a group of people going out to what they believe is a quiet, secluded island to celebrate a bachelor party, but come to find a bunker-like building on the island, and inside are ghastly secrets.

While the storyline is adequate, and doesn't really bring anything new to the genre, then what makes the movie worth watching is the effects and seeing people deteriorate and basically come apart.

But, this is also where the aforementioned randy teenager part kicks in. I am thinking about the unnecessary oral scene in the movie that ended with ... well, I am not going to give away spoilers here, but it was just ridiculous. But this is not the worst of things in the movie. There was a cat-fight scene, yep, that's right. But it gets better it is between two deteriorating women, where once again this was highly unnecessary for the movie, especially when a massive sex toy was brought into the fight.

While there were really badly chosen scenes added to the movie, then the make-up team really worked magic, and there were some really nice effects on the people as they deteriorated. And that alone was enough to make the movie watchable. Although, the movie just barely manages to sneak up on a 4 out of 10 stars rating.

"Cabin Fever: Patient Zero" is not a groundbreaking movie in any sense, nor is it one that really brings anything new or anything that the "Cabin Fever" movie series just wouldn't be the same without. So this movie hardly qualifies as a 'must watch' in order to come full circle with the previous movies.

After wasting over an hour of my life on this (yep my own fault entirely) I felt compelled to write a review to save others doing the same. This is without doubt one of the worst movies I've watched in a very very long time. It really is genuinely, absolutely dreadful, with no redeeming features whatsoever. The acting is simply awful - some of the worst I've witnessed in ages, the plot is nonsense, the "make-up effects" are laughable and the whole thing reeks of amateur trash. Put these things all together and you've got yourself an absolute stinker, and that is exactly what this is. Don't waste your time on it, trust me, you'll regret it.

The third entry in the Cabin Fever franchise was undoubtedly a disgusting mistake.

With the attempt to elaborate the origins of the bacterial plague that was previously unanswered in past entires, it offers an overly bloated and convoluted story with nothing special aside being absolutely disgusting. Although not as grotesque as the franchise's second entry, it continues retaining the exhausting nastiness its predecessors began.

The biggest unforgivable dilemma with this film, aside from everything else, was its merged storytelling with two separate situations. These events are intended to conjoin answers but merely create further questions and flaws. Its introduction becomes the film's main subplot and had more interesting scenery than the film's main focus. Despite that, almost none of the characters are likable or tolerable, the elongated and senseless disposable scenes are immediately annoying, and the film dares to become an exciting thriller during its final act.

It's absolutely revolting, stupid, and a waste of contaminated water.

Cabin Fever 3? Where did it come from? Why is it here? Who made it? All these questions you'll probably never really figure out by watching the film. The first in the series was released over a decade ago. It was a nice (or rather horrible!) little film about a flesh-eating virus which didn't need any more done on the subject matter. However, they made a second instalment anyway. This was met with pretty much universal hatred. Therefore, the fact they went as far as to make number three remains a mystery.

Personally, I didn't mind the second one. Yes, it wasn't as good as the first, but it was just about watchable. Number three is about five times worse than number two. It's about four American youngsters (who's good looks just about make up for any social niceties) who go to a remote island for some reason (are you bothered? You're only interested in the gore!) and end up falling foul to that good ol' fashioned killer virus we all know so well.

Cabin Fever 3 is low budget. I have nothing against low budget films. However, if you can't afford A-list actors or special effects, at least try to make up for it by entertaining characters we can root for and relate to. No such luck here. When it comes to the battle between flesh-eating virus verses man, you too will probably root for the virus.

The only famous face you might recognise is Sean Astin. Mordor and fun with Frodo seems a long way off now and he's reduced to some sort of extended sub-plot/cameo in this film. At least he's tried to disguise his appearance with a beard, but you can tell beneath the facial hair he's ashamed to be here and would rather have flung himself into Mount Doom instead of the One Ring. While the annoyingly good-looking teens are being eaten alive by the bug, Sean's been captured by a scientist who is so evil he speaks with a kind of randomly-changing accent which can be anything from British, through Canadian to American. Plus he seems to have employed two Victoria Secrets models for his lab assistants.

However, it's not all bad (well, mostly it is). There is some nice gore and make-up. However, that makes up about ten of the ninety minutes. For the rest you'll probably be asking yourself why these infected people suddenly start behaving like zombies half way through the film (when you're not dwelling on why this film was ever made in the first place). If you like dark and gory horror (with a helping of tongue in cheek) then watch the first Cabin Fever – ignore anything that shares its name made after the original.

Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

The third film in the series has a group of friends in the Dominican Republic where one of them is getting married. The day before the wedding a group of four decide to go to a secret island and relax. What they don't know is that a scientist is there doing experiments on the skin-eating virus and soon the visitors are contaminated.

CABIN FEVER: PATIENT ZERO is a pretty disappointing sequel that commits the biggest sin any horror movie can and that's the fact that it's just downright boring. Neither of the previous two films were all that good but they were at least entertaining. Sadly that's not the case here as the story is fairly weak and there's really no character that you like or really want to see survive.

Of course, one of the main attractions to a film like this is going to be the gore/kill scenes. The special effects here aren't nearly as impressive but for the most part they're good enough and there's quite a bit of blood puking and body parts falling off. The performances for the most part are good enough and we even have Sean Astin playing the patient zero.

If you're a fan of the first two then you'll probably be curious about this one but it's best you just skip it.