The Amityville Haunting

so the movie starts with the words "what you are about to see is real" this is so not true, in fact, its another one of those Paranormal Activity "true story" plots where one person is shooting the video the whole time: it reeks of horror movie cliché. i don't really mind the whole 'shaky camera' trend in "real" horror movies these days, but what really gets to me is the fact that these people record the whole incident but don't bother to check what they have recorded until the very last moment. i mean whats up with that? aren't you even a little bit curious to see if there was any haunting recorded until you realize that people are dieing around you?

The actual film was a parody of paranormal activity and the Amityville Horror, although it is the 'same' house it is now in the suburbs rather than countryside... but we need not mention the finer details. I loved both the original and Ryan Reynolds version of Amityville Horror so I thought that I would give it a chance regardless. It's not the same story or even a good sequel. It's shot like Paranormal Activity and seems to be an improv situation as no one really seems to know what to say. They try to add narrative with a child and a video camera who feels it necessary to annoy everyone in the film with the camcorder and me with his recap of each bad 'horror' segment. Where as in PA (which I did like) the characters seem scared... Not this kid, as he says things are 'really creepy'- Yes Tyler (or whatever generic name you have) it is actually if I was you I'd be like maybe we shouldn't be here rather than worry about your future career in documentaries.Although, he may get a job in one as he can't act.

This films acting I have got to say is pretty bad... really bad. I will watch films that give chance to new/young actors but I genuinely think they found these people on the street. I don't mean to offend but the emotions come across as if they were taken out of a labelled jar. The actors don't morph as a cast and the Dad's tone from the start makes me think that they casted him because he has the attitude of a serial killer with a slow mono-tone voice, and thats pretty much it.

I wanted to like this film due to my likings of any horror with a half decent storyline and OK effects. But even as low budget I cannot see any need for this film... No one is going to get a career from this.

I thought I would be soon over these stupid "Amityville" movies for Book Month, but there's always more of them! They just keep getting worse! This film once again starts by claiming it's based on a true story. For the umpteenth time, none of this was based on a true story and the author admitted to making the whole thing up! It was based on a novel, not a work of non-fiction! I hope James Randi cancels these films.

This doesn't even have much to do with the actual Amityville story. There's a few allusions here and there, like the flies. This movie is dreadfully boring. It's basically trying to cash in on the "Paranormal Activity" movies and behaves exactly like them! Well, I guess a lot of found footage films act like this. The point is that new people are moving into the Amityville house and their son records everything weird that happens.

There's a scene where a ghost just appears and does nothing for a full minute. I haven't seen every single "Amityville" so forgive me if I missed something. The ending is probably the worst as it features the dad going nuts and acting like an idiot. He's just beating up air in one scene. People are violently killed throughout the beginning of the film and the family still stays there! It's a pointless clichéd film and I'm glad to be done with these stupid movies. *

Please note: I didn't realise THE AMITYVILLE HAUNTING was produced by The Asylum before I purchased it, otherwise I might have had second thoughts. This turns out to be a found footage twist on the whole AMITYVILLE HORROR franchise, which inevitably rips off just about every found footage movie in existence.

The main "inspiration" behind this film is, clearly, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, although this movie makes that film look like a masterpiece in comparison. Everything about it is horrible: the acting, the style, the distinct lack of a story, in which the writer just throws everything into the mix in an attempt to make something stick (nothing does). So we get ghostly kids, intruders, doors opening on their own, murders. It's all ludicrous.

The film's main character is a kid, and about half the running time seems to consist of him pointing the camera at the floor while his parents argue; this doesn't make for a good use of screen time. Instead, I was bored witless by it. The only thing that kept me watching was the bad acting of the father, which was pretty amusing. There's quite a bit of incident in the last five minutes (none of which makes much sense) but it comes far too late in the game to make THE AMITYVILLE HAUNTING an interesting film.

My Amityville binge has led me to this, a found footage movie set in a world where Amityville has been recognised, made into movies and books and yet another family moves into the infamous house anyway.

As with all found footage films very little happens and this is 80 minutes of sheer unadulterated boredom.

What makes it worse (If that's possible) is that it's not even the Amityville house despite being said multiple times that it is. Both inside and out that becomes blatantly apparent and really is seven shades of stupid.

So we have shaky cam, we have night vision cam and we have the obligatory handicam filmed by someone who absolutely positively has to record everything for some reason.

In true Amityville style people change, folks turn on each other and yet somehow this is the worst one yet.

The Good:

It ended, that bit was good

The Bad:

That had to be the least sexy sex scene since the zombie humping in Braindead (1992)

NOT the Amityville house

The "Warning" real footage thing is getting dumb

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

The fact that there are no opening credits, no closing credits and therefore everyone involved is uncredited screams volumes

Someone should really trademark Amityville so Joe Talentless can't keep adding it to his film