Xanadu Hellfire

My my, didn't the fancy dress shop do well.

In no particular order.- The one thing I will give this movie credit for is that it is very self aware. It does at least know that is a micro budget, fantasy nonsense flick that doesn't take itself too seriously.

The acting is terrible. Sorry boss ladies, back to acting school.

The script and plot are, well, mostly harmless is is the polite way of describing it.

The editing is terrible. The direction is, first day at film school-bad. And the the least said about the cgi, the better.

All this being said, it is fun. Silly, really stoooopid fun. Best watched with a crate of anything that isn't Bud Light.

So, I'm a huge fan of Bloodsucka Jones, and Bloodsucka Jones Vs. The Creeping Death. This is the 3rd film by the Nitwit Consordium and is alot of fun. The kids who arenin the film, do a really good job and they don't come across as annoying or like they are reading their lines at all. Xanadu and Raven emote really well and feel like fleshed out characters. This scii Fi epic lives up to being called a Sci Fi epic. I just want Bloodsucka Jones and Xanadu do be in a film rogether now. The jokes in here are extremely funny, and this is the most fun with a film, I've had since Bloodsucka Jones Vs. The Creeping Death! Now I'm gonna eat Badass sized Tsunami Burger awww Yeah!

Nice fun little picture. Very cheap and kind of sloppy in parts but that's what you get with little indie pictures. The lead(the girl not the lady) is clearly in cheer or dance(its dance, I checked) which is great. We love seeing dancer girls in cheap indie pictures. The comic book props look good, at least the exteriors, it certainly duplicates that era of Marvel.

Scenes without one the leads(Xanadu or Ruby) not so is good. Is nice Xanadu always has belly show in her costuming. But Ruby never shows her belly even though she's a dancer and always shows belly. We need more trashy indie movies with little dancer girls barefoot(actually Ruby is barefoot in a scene but that's a continuity error, she's wearing socks in the previous shot) and showing belly.

But there is this weird scene where the lead has a dollar in her hand for the swear jar like she's gonna say a cuss, puts it in but doesn't say a cuss.

Oh, yeah and the girl playing Becky is real cute too.

As I stumbled upon this 2022 fantasy movie here in 2023, and opted to watch it, I had actually never heard about it. The movie's cover was definitely an eye catcher, because it had a very 1980s cheesy vibe to it. But I have to say that the cover worked, because it made me interested in the movie.

And as I started to watch "Xanadu Hellfire", it was pretty obvious that it was a low budget movie. And not of the great kind. Nay, writer and director Justin Armao managed to concoct a very cheesy script for the movie, and you don't ever really buy into the concept of the storyline, which makes sitting through "Xanadu Hellfire" quite the ordeal.

The acting performances in "Xanadu Hellfire" were dubious at best, especially with a bunch of the younger performers being unable to stop up and look directly into the camera throughout the course of the movie. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. And that is usually something I enjoy when I watch a movie, but it just didn't work out for me in this movie.

The costumes and props were low budget and low key. It permeated low budget production of the bad kind. And I have to admit that I was laughing several times throughout the course of the movie because of the laughable costumes that felt like something purchased off of Wish or AliExpress. And as for the dystopian Earth in the future, I was amazed with how clean and spotless everything was, from the people to their clothes. It just didn't come off as being believable.

"Xanadu Hellfire" is a pretty bad low budget movie, which feels like something that was made by a group of Live Action Roleplayers borrowing their father's digital video camera. It made for a rather disappointing viewing experience.

My rating of "Xanadu Hellfire" lands on a two out of ten stars.

Xanadu Hellfire is one of those movies that somewhat defies description and it took a surprisingly long time for me to decide upon a title summary that did it justice.

So, without spoilers, what is Xanadu Hellfire about? Well, the title character Xanadu is a powerful female warrior from a desolate future dystopian desert wasteland with sweeping vistas, wandering tribes and imagery like Mad Max. Through a magic portal, she is drawn into our time. She becomes a friend and mentor to 8 year old Ruby and her single father that evokes the feel of The Karate Kid. As might be expected, trouble follows her from the future into our world and she, and her new friends have to try and save their town and put everything right again. At this point, the movie is reminiscent of both Dungeons and Dragons and the movie Clerks, all rolled into one.

There are so many elements to cover so I will first start off by addressing some of the things I didn't like about the movie before moving onto some of the things I absolutely loved.

OK, so what's not to like? First, the initial premise was a little wonky. Xanadu herself is setup to exist in a dystopian future near the end of the 21st century. Back in our time, Ruby and her close friend Becky are both obsessed with comics that detail the legendary adventures of this Xanadu character. How on Earth did Xanadu become legendary if she wasn't going to be even born yet for 50 more years? Surely, it would have made more sense for Xanadu to have been a heroine from the distant past and hence why she was a legend in the comic books?

Next, there was very little plot, urgency or stake in the movie for the audience. The actions of both the protagonists and antagonists have very little real consequences. Indeed, rather like the A-Team, there can be massive destruction and nobody gets hurt. I believe this would appeal more to a younger audience where they can appreciate the adventure without giving it too much thought. Indeed, the primary target appears to be 10 year old girls who I think would especially love the plot and characters.

This brings me to the third and final negative aspect of the movie. It does not appear to know who it's target audience is. Although the plot is simplistic and tailored to a younger audience, it is filled with swearing and less than savory language. Personally, I found the language believable in context and was not offended by it. Indeed, I found it hilarious. However, I can definitely see some parents struggling with showing the movie to their young children with the amount of "colourful" vocabulary the children use, flipping off people etc.

OK, so what's to like about this movie? Wow. So very, very much.

First, the movie is visually beautiful. As the movie opens, we get to see epic vistas of the dystopian wasteland filmed from overhead with a drone. The costuming of the different warrior factions is varied and colorful and truly impressive given the micro budget this indie movie was filmed with.

Next is the music score. During fight scenes, sweeping vistas, training montages and more, we are enveloped in rich and vivid music that feels like it is from a Lord of the Rings movie. At a couple of points including the closing credits, we get some amazing heavy foot pumping metal from Benjiphonik.

The acting of all the major characters was also solid (although some of the support characters not so much). Aria Surrec (Ruby) and Chloe Sligar (Becky) perfectly play off each other as 8 year old friends who take no nonsense. Ruby's father (Ryon Thomas) also makes believable the cool dad doing his best and the chemistry between them is perfect and really makes you feel they might be a real family. Likewise a similar great chemistry exists between Xanadu and her sister Raven.

The movie is one, non stop, comedy fest of visual humor and one liners, Is it ridiculous? Absolutely. But I found myself laughing nonetheless and you likely will too. I loved the cameo role of Bloodsucker Jones from the movie of the same title.

The thing, above all that I loved about the movie was it screamed female empowerment. Every major character (bar the dad of course) was a strong female role model (or kick ass villain). The characters of Ruby and Becky were an absolutely unstoppable team and would take no crap from bullies or anyone. Xanadu showed that you can be a tough skilled warrior but still keep a kind spirit and innocent appreciation of the world. Her own mentor in the training montages was a skilled martial artist. Raven played a believable but likeable villain. Her two henchmen (henchwomen?) played comic relief to her "straight guy". Even they were wielding massive power. Essentially, the movie very much drove home the point that, as a woman, you can be anything you want to be.

In summary, the movie is well filmed and targeted mostly to a younger audience. The language is questionable but also hilarious. The visuals are awesome with the soundtrack even more so...and women can do anything they set their mind to!