Barely Legal

Watched this on the Tubi streaming service. Free w/ ads. There was one ad, for a toothbrush, and it preceded a scene involving an electric toothbrush. Also Tubi didn't seem to edit this for content or anything.

I recently watched parts of Bikini Valley Car Wash on Prime Video and so went looking for a batter example of the genre. BVCW is about 25% bikini girls storyline and 75% creepy dudes doing bad observational humor to stretch the run time to make it a feature film.

The thing about Barely Legal is that it is a full fledged movie. A script, production values, sets, props, color correction and everything you expect from a theatrically released film.

If you are of the "Plot Holes = Bad Movie" set, then you could obviously make a whole "Honest Trailer" or Cinema Sin" video on the movie.

3 best friends live in a huge McMansion alone together, w/ no obvious source of income. And they all three turn 18 on the same day. And while two of them are sexually active, all three of them consider themselves virgins because none of them have had penis in vagina sex. And they all eventually decide to lose their virginity at their birthday party.

So the story is ridiculous and contrived, but absolutely works for the point of making the movie. And the dialog works in universe. The question is never, "why would anyone say that?", and more the choices characters make in the way they choose their lives.

Some of the jokes land and are actually funny.

Andre Meadows, of the Black Nerd Comedy Youtube channel is in this. He and Lee Doud are obnoxious party goers. Apparently the people at Asylum liked him enough to bring him back for their next sex comedy, Celebrity Sex Tape (2012).

It really feels like everyone involved with the production was just really happy to be working on the project.

If you are looking to watch this type of movies, you could do far far worse than these series of sex comedies from The Asylum 2009-2014.

The Asylum Sex Comedies: 18-Year-Old Virgin (2009) Sex Pot (2009) #1 Cheerleader Camp (2010) Milf (2010) Barely Legal (2011) Celebrity Sex Tape (2012) Bikini Spring Break (2012) Alpha House (2014) Asian School Girls (2014) Bachelor Night (2014)

Cheryl, Lexi, and Sue are best friends since birth when their mothers met at the hospital. It's their 18th birthday coming up. Cheryl plans to lose her virginity to boyfriend Jake. Sue is religious and shocked at Cheryl's plan. Lexi is sexually promiscuous and does everything except losing her virginity. After a misunderstanding in confession at church, Sue agrees to join the other two in the virginity plan.

This is pretty low quality in almost every aspect. The acting is weak although the girls are willing to show some skin. The writing tries to be funny. It has some outrageous moments that are almost funny. The production is really low budget. They seem to have rented a house and made the movie all in that place. This is a low-budget indie version of a sex romp. It's on par with one of those other alternate American Pie movies with less money.

Another reviewer clearly must be kidding with the cinematic masterpiece review he (or she?) has written. That is my take on his Shakespeare comparisons and more. On the other hand, there are certain things that really work for the movie. One of them is that this is not baiting or teasing you without delivering. So while other movies may promise skin and deliver nothing, this does give you that ... satisfaction.

And there is also the fact that you have three female protagonists. Now you may feel that this is not representing women or womanhood correctly. But is that what the movie is here? An educational how to do it? No sir (and miss/missus etc)! This is supposed to be a comedy about girls coming (stop snickering) into adulthood. Maybe it is worth snickering. Again, this is not meant to be seen as anything serious and while it is far from "a cinematic masterpiece", it also isn't a disaster at all.

A film about 3 girls trying to lose their virginity at a birthday party. What could go wrong!?

The first 15 minutes are pretty awful, in almost every way. The acting is pretty poor, probably due to a bad script and some things just don't make sense, e.g. All the morning drama and sex, then suddenly its only 6:30am! And the fact that 3 18yo girls can own that house with a pool?!

Once the party kicks off, the movie kinda does too. It does actually have some funny moments that aren't so cringe-worthy that it just falls flat. The acting remains hit and miss throughout for pretty much every character, bar maybe the character of Eric who was probably the best of the lot. It's most likely the tamest pool party you'll ever see in these kinds of movies.

If you want to see a lot of boobs and a bit more at times, then this movie will be enjoyable to you. The 3 leads are very attractive and you get to see quite a bit of them. Given who made the movie (The Asylum), it's not actually that bad, and decent by their standards.

If you have 90mins to waste on a forgettable yet OK movie, that does provide some laughs, and tonnes of boobs, then this might whet your appetite but it's not one you'll ever watch again after.

I would like to begin by apologizing about using word to describe such a well-crafted cinematic masterpiece. I have nothing else at my disposal and words will not do it justice. This is the brilliant coming of age story of three young women who happen to all share the same birthday. The actresses playing these women should receive not only Oscar nods, but also the hardware. Hell, they should give them Best Actress, Best Actor, and Best Supporting Actress just so Jeneta St. Clair, Lisa Younger, and the refreshingly brilliant Melissa Johnston do not have to share a statue. There is no way a trifecta so perfect in acting should not be recognized as a whole. The Director, Jose Montesinos, utilizes his cast and film crew so effectively, the viewer does not feel as if they are watching a film, but actually participating in the entire experience. The connectivity he is able to bring out of all of the actors and actresses is unparalleled. There is a young genius at work behind the camera in this film. You will feel the emotion, pain, hunger, and desperation of every character. I mean every character. Tanya Yiang, who plays the role of Girl, will leave you riveted to the screen. You will despise Morgan Benoit's Jake with vitriol normally only reserved for the most heinous of villains, such as Game of Thrones' King Joffrey. You will feel the religious fortitude of Kevin Yarbaugh's Priest. There is no other way around it. The director got everything possible out of every actor who graced the screen.

Although that is impressive on its own there is little actors can do without dialogue, and the screen writer, Naomi L. Selfman, nailed this one on every facet of good storytelling. If you are someone who loves dialogue, Ms. Selfman's word craft is a treat to behold. Forget the wittiness many critics claimed of such wordsmiths as Kevin Williamson or Diablo Cody, they are not even in a league with Naomi Selfman. She is more deserving to be whispered in the same breaths as Poe, Keats, Whitman, Dante, or even Shakespeare himself. To say that the script of the film Barely Legal was Shakespearean in quality would be an insult to the film for it has set a new standard to which I am certain books, TV shows, and movies will be referred to as Barely Legalian. It was with some distrust that I took the Netflix recommendation from the PS3 Netflix Max option, but I could not be happier that I had done so. This film was a transcendental and life-changing experience for me and I am sure many others. I am seriously considering getting the three main characters tattooed across my torso, but alas even that tribute would not be worthy of such astute filmmaking genius. If you want to have your life changed and be awakened to what truly standard filmmaking is, then check out The Asylum's Barely Legal, but be prepared for the decrepit, weak, worn-out, schlock that Hollywood normally produces to not even touch your movie viewing palate any longer. It will be like having the most astounding meal prepared for you and then trying to tell yourself McDonald's will be good the next time you go there. There is only pre-Barely Legal movie viewers and post-Barely Legal movie viewers. I am glad to call myself one of the latter and if you take the leap you will be too.