The Baytown Outlaws : Les Hors-la-loi

Greed! Guns! Professional wrestling! Domestic violence! An arrogant yankee! Corrupt politicians! Misogyny! Lingerie biker babe assassins! Fishin'! Hard drink in' & hard drivin'! Sibling rivalry! Big-hearted killers! Family tragedy! Racial violence! Lynard Skynard! Road rage! Stereotypical rednecks, African-Americans, & Native Americans! Illegal aliens (actually, the only demographic represented favorably)! Spanish moss! Theological musing! An arrow through the knee (okay, not specifically Southern, but a nice touch)! If the goal was to jam as many slams on the South as a small-budget movie could handle, then writer/director Barry Battles' "The Baytown Outlaws" is a great success.

Yet in spite of all the negativity directed toward my fellow Southerners & our homeland, there is some good work in this film. The story is implausible, but stimulating. Clayne Crawford & Travis Fimmel as bad boy brothers bring unexpected depth to their characters, as does Andre Braugher as a powerful Southern Sheriff. Nice work, Barry Battles. Next time how about pickin' on some yankee bastards.

Starring names you know, ridiculous plot, action, yuks, and (best of all!) no BS social message. For mindless entertainment, far surpasses network offerings. Actors must have had a blast (pun intended) shooting this romp. It's worth watching just to enjoy bad guys (and bad girls) trying to zotz bad guys. Two vignettes during credits made me laugh. We won't see this on Oscar night, but you'll like it more than whatever wins Best Picture this year.

'THE BAYTOWN OUTLAWS': Four and a Half Stars (Out of Five)

This is one of those movies that really caught me by surprise. I had heard a little about it upon it's limited release (in theaters) but it of course wasn't playing anywhere around me and the synopsis (and lack of hype) didn't peak my curiosity in the film. It's about three vigilante redneck brothers 'for hire' who agree to help a woman get her godson back from her asshole ex. They find an assortment of crazy mercenaries after them when they rescue the boy and try to bring him back to his godmother. It stars three mostly unknown actors in the leads (Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel and Daniel Cudmore) and was directed and co-written (with Griffin Hood) by an actor turned director making his feature film directorial debut (Barry Battles). The film also features some bigger stars in supporting roles like Billy Bob Thornton, Eva Langoria, Andre Braugher, Zoe Bell and Michael Rapaport but it was made on a budget of just $4 million and not given much publicity or attention at all. I loved it and think it's sure to be a cult favorite for many years to come. If you're a film nut you have to see it.

The film is set in Alabama where brothers Brick (Crawford), McQueen (Fimmel) and Lincoln Oodie (Cudmore, who you might recognize as Colossus from the 'X-MEN' movies) work for the local Sheriff (Braugher) murdering criminals, vigilante style, in order to help keep the crime rate there the lowest in the state. After botching one job and not getting paid they find a woman at their door, named Celeste (Langoria), offering the boys $25,000 to rescue her godson Rob (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) from her asshole crime boss ex, Carlos (Thornton). The brothers take the job and retrieve the kid but fail to kill Carlos as Celeste instructed them to. They then find all kinds of assassins 'for hire' after them as they try to get Rob safely home to Celeste. They oddly bond with the boy at the same time.

The movie really struck me as effective in the way it introduces it's three lead characters as disgusting villains and then instead makes you care for them, more and more, throughout the film. Their relationship with the boy was really well done and all four lead actors are really good in the film. If this movie had better backing it could easily make Crawford, Fimmel and Cudmore stars but with their charisma and talent I'm sure they can find other work to help them do that. The rest of the cast is all exceptional as well and Barry Battles really makes a name for himself with this film. For a debut effort it really is an exceptional production all around and I can't wait to see what he does next. It's got a lot of heart, it's funny, tons of excessively violent action, lots of sex appeal (including a gang of hot female biker assassins) and is just a really fun time at the movies! A lot of people will label it a cliché driven Tarantino-esque B action film but it's much more well done and creative than that gives it credit for.

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Nostalgic for the days of Smokey and the Bandit-style redneck car chase wreckstravaganzas? Don't be, because this favorite '70s genre is back and as explosive as ever in this movie.

Celeste (Eva Longoria) has good reason to send three outlaw bounty hunters after her no-good ex-husband Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton)--he shot her three times in the gut, after all.

There is a whole lot of sexy women in this movie (Serinda Swan, Brea Grant, Arden Cho, Agnes Bruckner, and Longoria), but the only nudity comes in the form of Rose's (Zoe Bell) butt.

Celeste hires the Oodie brothers (Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel, and Daniel Cudmore). I can't imagine three less likely to do a job successfully. They are a laugh a minute.

Good ole boys done good.

A film based on a thin story with lots of funny violence and it gets it right. Just the right amount of character development, not to overbearing/tear filled/long like say Expendables. Just enough to care a little about the characters. Does not take itself seriously at all or try and tackle any issues like race or religion. Good quirky interesting characters on both sides. Just enough plot, character development and side story's to keep you interested but not make you feel like you wish they would just get on with it. On the down side nothing really original here either but whats their is well put together.

This is no masterpiece or anything subtle but it's a very enjoyable way to kill an hour and half.