The Weapon

I only started watching this movie for the "presence" of Cuba Gooding Jr and Bruce Dern. Two of the greatest actors. But blink once with your eyes and you have missed their performances, it's that SHORT.

The bad: THIS IS A B-MOVIE. Everything from acting, story, sound, photography to eidting, everything is amateur night.

What's worse, to cover up the ridiculousness of this movie they started using lots of cheap violence, fake violence, but nonetheless gross violence.

Not even the slightiest funny. It is a big nothing burger. But I kept on watching hoping to see Cuba Gooding Jr and Bruce Dern, but I have no clue why they decided to star in this flop. Did they run into lower grounds, into financiial troubles. It's always sad to see great actors lower themselves to this kind of garbage...

How the hell did this even get made? Who owes Tony Sheena so many favors that they actually let this asshat star AND direct this pathetic mess. How much did they have to pay CGJ to be in this? Also, when does he show up? I think I missed it between the worst, fake fight scenes I've ever seen and checking my spam mail because I was so bored I would rather read phishing emails and ads for Viagra.

Yes, the editing is terrible. But don't blame the editors. They were just trying to splice together some semblance of a narrative from the train wreck of raw footage. It's pretty clear that Tony Sheena wants to be an action star, but his Small Dick Energy is too overwhelming. He's so unconvincing as just a human being, much less a star. To call his acting wooden would be an insult to wood. Avoid at all costs.

Absolutely terrible movie. The people in it cannot be called "actors", I refuse to believe they were actually paid for the job. Just don't bother, it's not one of those "so bad that it's good" movies, it's just simply bad, really bad. The CGI is almost as bad as the acting, the fire in one scene looks like it was drawn by a 4 year old in crayon. As for the fighting, well, if there was a choreographer on set, they really need to be looking at taking their career in a completely different direction. I've seen better fights from drunk people in Wetherspoons. My guess is there wasn't even a script for the movie. Someone just briefly explained the storyline and said, "Let's go, just do whatever you want to". This movie is definitely a 0/10, unfortunately that wasn't an option, so I had to give it 1 star, but please be assured, it is nowhere near worthy of that 1 star.

When I tell you this is the worst movie you will ever see in your life, it's an understatement. I can't even say it's a C film, it's that bad. There's a little room for forgiveness due to this being actor Tony Schiena's (who also acted in this film) first time as a director.

But where there's no excuse is how horribly this was written by Michael Caissie. This is the most incoherent and inept screenplay ever written. The plot is so convoluted with ridiculous characters popping in and out with no backstory, reason or explanation. It's so bad, that the actual dialogue one tough-guy says is "L-O-L".

Then you have the worst editing I have ever seen - was this mess even edited? Scenes just end and another starts like the screenplay was shredded and randomly taped back together. The screenplay and editing need to be studied in film school on what not to do.

Don't be fooled by some high-caliber names being cast, I'm sure they are all regretting it - albeit the minimal scenes they had. The score was loud and overbearing, and all casting and performances including the action scenes, were amateur-hour cringeworthy.

I'm baffled at the production companies that saw the final cut and decided to go to market thinking this nonsense was watchable, because it's not. It's irritatingly and frustratingly unwatchable.

It's a very generous 2/10 from me, out of pity for some of the decent actors that had their names attached to this.

The acting is sub-par, the dialogue is stunted and delivered as if by recent graduates of Madam Pickle's Backstreet School of Acting.

A meaningless soundtrack overlays everything - I got 16 minutes into the film before turning it off, going to bed and crying myself to sleep at the rapid demise of quality cinema.

I couldn't even wait for Gooding to make an appearance who might have improved the quality of this movie - I couldn't take it any longer than I did.

The script is full of clichés and don't worry, there are no spoilers here because I've already forgotten every utterance of every actor in this ridiculously bad movie.