Almighty Thor

I'm sorry this movie was horrible. From the beginning with the weird cgi of the huge army in battle, but any scenes with the soldiers only showed one or two fighting... Most of the time swinging their swords up in the air to the off camera demon dogs (or whatever)... To the constant walking of Loki once he got to Earth...what was that a total of 10+ minutes of him just strolling on the sidewalk and attempting to look menacing? The movie was so bad i got distracted by Thor's brother's weird Rocky looking lip... and Thor's bright white two front teeth? Are those bad caps or did he suck his thumb too long... Thor whined more than Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars... I gave up with only 15 minutes left of the movie. Thor even had some "magical" earth jacket that would hide the hammer when he put it in his inside pocket...sometimes it went in handle first some times hammer end first...(Didn't Dungeons and Dragon's have some endless pocket or something like that?) Oh the "magical" jacket even had a place to hold his sword on his back and remained invisible until he pulled it out... :)

Btw, I actually registered on IMDb so i could post this review...That's how bad the movie was...

Wow… almighty I think not. I saw the ads playing on TV and it actually looked like it might be some harmless, no-brainer fun. Terrible, but fun. Well it was a no-brainer. As this limited made-for-TV Scy-fy feature (from The Global Asylum productions) was a lousy superhero knock-off with little in way of entertainment and even unintentional laughs in this role-playing venture. It reminded me of those Hercules / Xena TV episodes, but they were better. Other than Cody Deal's humorously awkward delivery of his lines and overall whiny attitude as Thor, this mockery was rather drab and repetitive. How many times do I have to watch Richard Grieco as the demonic god Loki wandering around the woods and streets. At least with that wandering, he did look badass in his get-up while also frowning a lot but at least there was a purpose for that constant wandering… in search of Odin's Hammer of Invincibility. So there's a lot of walking (bad guys), then running (good guys) and but also yelling. I don't know why… but yelling seems like the only way to get something across. Especially Thor. Constant arguments with Patricia Velasquez'z helpful character. But even when danger is around (dogs of hell and the CGI) or there's a chance to finish things off, people decide to stand around explaining things that just don't need explaining. Maybe it's because Thor is just so stupid, you just wish Locki would finish the job… "…Not quite!". When it comes to the jerky action, for most part it's done in awesome slow-motion to simply enhance the epic, if lumbering fight choreography. It's no effect, they are virtually fighting in slow motion. One move after another. While watch round after round as Thor gets beaten up by Locki. Every encounter is basically the same and Thor is too dumb to realise training would help. But no he must kill Loki… NOW! Quite awe-inspiring, just like the powerful dialogues with a message at heart. However where is else to you get to see Thor toting a machine gun… yep a machine gun… against a god… and he did have the hammer at his use. It figures, as its lack of imagination shows. Also showing up in a small part is Kevin Nash as Odin.

"I don't believe in fate."

This movie was just hilariously awful. It seems like a 12 year old wrote the script. It tells the story of a young Thor coming of age and trying to avenge his father Odin (played by professional rassler Kevin Nash), who was smited by Loki (Richard Grieco). Seems Loki the evil trickster wants the famous hammer that would eventually become Thor's bread and butter weapon. Grieco walks around with evil written all over him including a powdery white face and black spikey armor.

Cody Deal is the dumbest Thor or for that matter any other super hero/god ever. He can't fight and even though Jarnsaxa (a warrior chick trained by The Valkyries played by Patricia Velasquez) tells him over and over that he can't fight, has no skills and can't beat Loki he just continually ignores her and says "I'm going to find Loki and kill him". Guess what?! Every time he finds Loki he gets his butt whipped handily. Still our thickheaded moron of a hero won't go train and says "I am going to find Loki and kill him!" This movie is beyond bad. I watched it on the Sci/Fi channel and it has all the makings of a Sci/Fi original film. The CGI is cheap and cartoony. The fights are shot like they shot one move, cut, then another move, cut and then another. BUT I will say this, if you like bad movies and like to laugh at how horrible and ridiculous they are then you will get something out of this. I laughed and was held to the screen by its awfulness!

The simple answer is quite possibly yes.

The joke is though that this film is so bad that you can't even laugh at it.

I found myself cringing at the appalling dialogue. The CGI was very poorly done and the camera work in general was very dodgy to say the least with lots of shaking.

The "acting" (if you can call it that) was appalling. Whether or not this is due to the poor directing or that they are actually that bad (which I fail to believe) is unforgivable, and some might even say criminal. As someone who has done some acting, if I was in this steaming heap, I would want my name removed from the credits.

This is defiantly one to avoid if you value your time. It is 1 hour and 30 minutes I will never get back.

Even Alan Smithee wouldn't want to put his name to this.

I have made no secret of disliking The Asylum/SyFy's output, there is the odd exception where some films of theirs are tolerable but neither come close to very good/masterpiece status, most are bad and quite a lot bottom of the barrel quality. Almighty Thor belongs in the bottom of the barrel category, and I can only think of about 3 of their films that are worse than this(Titanic II, Alien vs. Hunter and The Apocalypse).

Absolutely nothing about Almighty Thor works. The production values are really quite poor. Haphazard editing, some really odd camera angles and some of the most crude CGI effects in any of The Asylum's films. The dialogue is laughable, although a lot of the film from The Asylum/SyFy have this problem the dialogue here really takes the biscuit. Not much effort is seemingly put into the story or characters here, the story is never secure in the pace-some scenes feel rushed(the ending) and others feel pedantic(the middle)- and is never interesting, while the characters are not developed or used well at all and nothing is done to make me engage with them. The acting all round is also appalling, Cody Deal is very uncharismatic and can't act his way out of a paper bag no matter how hard he tried.

Overall, not only one of the worst so far of the year and also one of the worst to come from The Asylum. 0/10 Bethany Cox