Zombiechrist

it should tell you something when you see the name of a movie and think there is no way this could be actually real, thats what i thought when i found this when looking for zombie land, and when i came to check out the IMDb page for it i saw it had an average of 2.3 stars. My first reaction was "thats impossible, not even asylum movies have that low a rating, nothing can be worse then an asylum movie" but as it turns out i was proved wrong. This movie has broken the barrier of my previous movie scale and made a whole new level of bad at the bottom. to start it off the sheer amount of nudity in this movie and the poor way in which it was used was very tasteless and only interesting if you have never seen a naked woman before. the acting( though calling what happened here acting is insulting to even the worst of actors) seemed to have never been on camera before, it was embarrassingly easy to see that the director had no clue what they were doing, but somehow he always seemed to find a way to get every woman in this movie out of her cloths at some point or another, and the story couldn't follow a single direction if you gave it a map, directions, a compass, and put it on the yellow brick road. At some points its downright insulting to anyone who Christian or catholic in faith, and i do recommend that if you are either to avoid this movie. The thing is, that even though this movie is bad, i found that it was so bad it broke right through the bottom of bad and hit funny. as soon as i saw the villain of the movie i started laughing and couldn't stop and almost ended in tears, the absurdity of every scene compounded on one another, the bad acting made me laugh even more, and every bad thing came together to make a horror movie into one of the funniest movies i have seen in a long long time. i don't even give this movie a 1/10, but i would recommend watching it to see if you find it as entertaining as i did

From Writer, Director, Producer, Editor, Jeezuz Impersonator Bill Zebub, comes ZOMBIECHRIST. In this heartwarming fable, those pesky druids have resurrected the zombified, skeletal remains of Big J in order to bring about the New Age.

This obviously requires wall-to-wall, full-frontal-and-beyond, female nudity; clever bible quips; long-winded theological discussions; slow-motion kung fu; romance; and a chocolate syrup-covered skeleton wearing a crown of thorns.

Lamentably, what could've been a smashing 15-20 minute short film, is bloated into a 100 minute slab of dullness. Personally, I enjoy frolicking, nubile, tattooed nymphs just as much as anyone alive, but even this gets old in a hurry.

Of course, the title makes it clear that this movie is meant to be offensively funny. While it might offend religious zealots or barking clergymen, the rest of mankind probably won't care about the blasphemous goings-on or hedonistic hi jinx.

For true followers of Mr. Zebub only...

This movie is terrible. Absolutely terrible. This is so bad that it made me fast forward most of the 100+ scenes of female nudity. Don't get me wrong: I usually enjoy female nudity, but half of the running time of this movie is filled with either close up shots of female genitalia or nude women awkwardly swaying as if on their first audition for a job as a crack-wore. The idea for the underlying story is a totally different thing: it's great! If this guy had the willingness, drive, stamina and talent to turn that idea into a novel... maybe one day someone could actually produce a real movie of it.