- Shrek: [Castle Duloc has become run-down; to Donkey] Look! It's that little thingy you love so much, remember?
- Creepy Clockwork Chorus: [Shrek pulls the lever on the Information Booth, and the same mechanized marionettes pop out singing, this time looking very deranged] Welcome to Duloc/It's a creepy town/It was once pristine/Now it's all run down. We will chop off your head/And then laugh when you're dead/Duloc is a creepy place.
- Creepy Clockwork Chorus: Come on in with your head,/Come lie down, break your... face/Duloc is... Duloc is... Duloc is a cre-py... place!
- Shrek: [booth takes their picture, captioning it "Get Out"] Ooh! Let's do that again!
- Donkey: NO!
- Puss in Boots: Back when the lights came back on, it was the donkey taking a shower!
- Donkey: Oh, my goodness! Why would I do that?
- Puss in Boots: Ha ha! And right behind you, there was danger!
- Donkey: Oh, man.
- Puss in Boots: You were paralyzed!
- Donkey: [screams]
- Puss in Boots: It was a donkey-eating waffle. It was packing heat, and it wanted revenge.
- Waffle: I want revenge!
- Puss in Boots: The donkey ran. But how far can you run when you're on a plate covered in butter wearing a pink tutu?
- Donkey: No!
- Puss in Boots: And a sombrero. And a coconut brassiere. And about to be eaten alive!
- Donkey: No, please! Please, I'll switch to pancakes! Aah!
- Waffle: [swallows Donkey] Num, num, num!
- Puss in Boots: And the donkey was never seen again.
- Shrek: Well, it looks like it's just you and me.
- Donkey: Go ahead, Shrek. There ain't nothing that can scare me.
- Shrek: Well, then I guess there's nothing left to do but wait for the ghost.
- Donkey: What ghost?
- Shrek: Lord Farquaad's ghost. And as I recall, you had a hand in his untimely demise.
- Donkey: Aw, come on. Everyone knows ghosts are just an urban legend.
- Shrek: Is it?
- [suddenly the chandeliers start swinging]
- Donkey: Oh, that's just the wind.
- Creepy voice: Donkey!
- Donkey: And apparently it knows my name.
- Donkey: Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you even a little bit scared?
- Princess Fiona: Donkey, ogres don't get scared. We do the scaring.
- Shrek: And that's why we're the kings of Halloween.
- Donkey: I beat we can find something that will scare the pants off you!
- Wolf: Which would scare me.
- Shrek: Oh, really? And what do you have in mind?
- Donkey: All of us telling scary stories all night long. There ain't no way you won't be scared.
- Puss in Boots: Yes! Stories to make your blood run cold!
- Donkey: Yeah!
- Puss in Boots: Stories to terrify you.
- Donkey: Yeah!
- Puss in Boots: And whoever shall last through the night shall be called the king of Halloween.
- Shrek: I accept.
- Donkey: We doubly accept.
- Shrek: Buckle up, everybody. The quicker I scare the wits out of you, the sooner I can be home, cozy in my bed. Unless anyone else thinks they've got what it takes.
- Pinocchio: Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me! I have a scary story!
- Wolf: This isn't the one about you getting trapped in the petting zoo again, is it? 'Cause that's not scary.
- Pinocchio: Actually, if you look at it with *my* perspective...
- Gingerbread Man: Hey, guess what, Pinocchio, no one cares! Get ready to send these jokers home, Shrek, 'cause I've got a doozy, and it's all true! Ahem. It was a dark and stormy night...
- Gingerbread Man: Wait! More sugar.
- Muffin Man: But that is not the recipe.
- Gingerbread Man: Trust me, Muffin Man, this girl's gotta be real sweet. I want someone who will love me forever.
- Muffin Man: I must warn you, Gingy. No one has ever made cookies with this much sugar. You are tampering with forces far beyond your comprehension!
- Gingerbread Man: Just put her in the oven.
- Pinocchio: Eww! I'm too young to have termites!
- The Cricket: I'm no termite, Pinocchio. I'm a cricket.
- Pinocchio: You were the voice in my head this whole time?
- The Cricket: That's right. I'm was the one putting all those those thoughts in your noggin. I'm your conscience, and as long as I as you let me, I'll always be in...
- [Pinocchio squashes him]
- Shrek: The end.
- Pinocchio: That wasn't me! I never had any bugs in my head. Ha ha. Ask anyone!
- Shrek: Okay, then. Why don't we ask start by asking your conscience!
- [shows Pinocchio a cricket in his hand]
- Shrek: Oh, wow. Terrifying. I don't know how I'm gonna sleep now.
- Princess Fiona: Happy Halloween, everyone.
- Donkey: Oh, man.
- Gingerbread Man: [to Donkey] I thought you said this was gonna scare 'em.
- Three Pigs: [as they run away after Gingy's story] Whee, whee, whee!
- Wolf: They're gonna do that all the way home. I better go too. They're my ride.