Attack of the 50 Foot CamGirl

This movie is free on Tubi. And there's a reason. It's horrible.

Basically, a 40 something zaftig stripper type -- who is somehow described as the "hottest" cam girl on the internet -- eats a geneticallly mnufactured carrot and grows to 50 feet tall.

You've already seen three or 4 movies like this over the years. Maybe not overweight strippers, but you get the idea.

The jokes fall flat. The acting is dismal. And the story is a mess. None of it makes a lot of sense.

There are two (2) things that are good about this movie:

1. The house the shot in is spectacular. Who did thye know?

2. The running tme is just slightly over an hour.

I like some of Jim Wynorski's work, I really do. Chopping Mall and a few others are B movie classics. I used to love Full Moon back in the day. They used to produce some really cool films and Charles Band will always be a b movie legend. However, days of their glory are gone for good and whatever Full Moon releases these days(well since late 90's, really) is amateurish garbage. 'Attack of the 50 Foot CamGirl' is just that - pure, cheap garbage. Sure, there are people who watch these softocore comedies only for T&A but let's face it, you can as well watch porn. Leading 'actress' Ivy Smith looks and sounds just like a low budget porn performer. Some might find her pretty but she can't act and even though it's her first role, It's quite obvious she won't get much better. There will always be a place for fairly attractive women ready to show their skin and work for next to nothing on zero budget films but it's a blind alley. They will never be pros. Overall acting is a bad joke here. Even someone like Lisa London(who was in quite a few actual films) overacts badly. Jokes aren't funny to say the least and everything here screams 'home movie quality'. Best thing about the film is it's short running time and the miniatures. If you appreciate your time and you like decent b movies, you should skip this one. If all you need is bare skin(not much of it here, though), you will probably watch it and say it was awesome. If you support everything Wynorski and/or Band do, you will watch it anyway. And that's ok. Personally, I believe Wynorski deserves better than this.

This movie didn't have to be bad. Derivative, yes, but not bad. After all, the same general formula has been used before in Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold and Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader, both of which were surprisingly entertaining. When comparing Attack of the 50 Foot Camgirl to those films, the plot makes even less sense (starting from an already low baseline), far fewer of the jokes land (almost none, in fact), and the acting... Well, the acting is a serious contender for the worst I've ever seen.

The fatal flaw of this film, however, is the fact that none of the characters are at all likeable. They're so awful that it takes the experience from boring to unpleasant. It's obvious that we're supposed to hate our protagonist's 2-timing slimeball husband, and his sadistic, envy-stricken mistress, but even the protagonist herself is vile! On top of just generally being mean and dismissive to all the other characters, she's portrayed as incredibly arrogant, going as far as to monologue about how she will be worshiped as a god the world over. Meanwhile the side-characters are just obnoxious and gross.

At the end of the day, if you're looking for a good giantess film, you have lots of options... and this is the worst one. You can safely skip it.

The acting was as believable as the lead actresses... assets. Her voice is shrill and not pleasant. The female antagonist was more believable, but the overall movie was not worth wasting an hour of my life.

It seriously pains me to say this, having been a longtime fan of Charles Band's going back to his Empire Days, the state of play at the House Of Full Moon is but a shadow of former glories!

There's a germ of a good idea in here, but what was needed was decent acting and most importantly a script worthy of the title itself.

Had the Director made this in the 80's the whole production would've made for better viewing but as it stands, despite some cameos from himself plus Becky LeBeau, this is woeful stuff.

Of course the sequel is forthcoming but I won't be checking it out.