Zombie Driftwood

I am a huge zombie film fan and I have to say this one is unwatchable. It is not funny, scary, clever or even so bad it's good. This is just low rent garbage with nothing to offer at all.

If you want a funny zombie film go watch: Shaun of the Dead, Army of darkness , Evil Dead 1&2, Dellamorte Dellamore, Zombieland ,Dead Snow, Black Sheep, Slither, Fido, Doghouse or Braindead/Dead Alive.

If camp is not your thing and you want a scary or interesting film go watch: Dawn Of The Dead 2004 UNRATED, Dawn of the dead (1978),28 Weeks Later, The Dead Outside, Shock Waves, Outpost, Mulberry Street, Lifeforce, Deathwatch, Dead and Buried and of course Night of the Living Dead.

Worthless crap.

I usually don't comment on anything as poor as this, but the sock-puppets who reviewed this film fooled me into watching it. If I can save even a single person this embarrassment, I must try. Brain cells are at stake.

This film might have been more impressive had it been directed by an 8 year old- though I'd still make sure someone kept him away from cameras in the future. I'd also recommend he be given a thorough examination by a child developmental specialist.

The film claims to be funny- the only 'humor' comes from post production fart sounds littered throughout and, I suppose, the dancing of the female 'actors'.

The zombie make-up appears to be made from red paint and a wasted chicken dinner.

The actors are unlikable, untalented and unwatchable. The two 'sex' scenes have the participants fully clothed and are about as hot as an episode of 'The Golden Girls'.

The hour and 12 min running time is padded out with cheap animation which is the best part of the production.

AVOID THIS LIKE THE PLAGUE! Just atrocious, I cannot stress enough how awful this movie is. Only a quote said by Black Adder can express how this movie was: "It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better." This movie has the pace of a snail. Everything seemed to be stretched out to fill time. The characters were completely unlikable, as if they were scraped out of the bottom of the douche bag swamp. The effects used throughout the film could easily be outdone by any kindergarten level arts and crafts lesson. Nothing throughout the movie could even be construed as comedy. Just absolutely unfunny. This is a bad movie and everyone involved should feel bad.

To start off I have a very high tolerance for crap horror movies but this had no redeeming features whatsoever. As a comedy it was incredibly devoid of humour, the jokes they did have - zombies taking over the film studio - were so over-worked that by the time you've seen them for the third time I can't imagine anyone would be laughing. Where I thought this film might excel, but didn't ,was as a schlock horror film but here still the gore was severely lacking.

Don't listen to the obvious reviews of those of who were involved with the film. So what if it cost them xx£ to make; a cheap crap film, is still a balls film.

I can only think those reviews giving this film good marks were written by the production staff. This film is really not very good, and I love zombie movies, even many low budget ones. The acting is absolute rubbish, and probably spoils the film more than anything else. The special effects are the kind pretty much any college film students can surpass.

Do yourself a favour and avoid this, there are much funnier, better acted and scarier low budget zombie movies out there, such as Fido and Dario Argento's Demons 1&2 from way back in the 80s. It kind of says something about how bad this is, that it is far worse than low budget zombie films that are approaching 30 years old. Half of the audience at the horror film festival went for something to eat, or catch up on some sleep, rather than watch this appalling film and I can't say I blame them, I wish I had too.

Seriously, avoid.