2010: Moby Dick

Well, you already know what kind of movie this was going to be. A bad one, and it turned out to be just that. It is the kind of movie that is similar to a car crash, you know you shouldn't look, but you can't help it.

Lets start with the story, it was sort of a re-take on the classic tale, though oddly twisted and warped in a sense. And it was actually not really necessary for the world to have another Moby Dick movie, at least not of this caliber.

The special effects in the movie were, well, special! They were hilarious, and I was wondering how come in this day when we write 2010, that these type of fake effects and cheesy CGI's still take place. If you can't make it look believable, don't make it at all. Half-hearted attempts do not please the viewers.

There were two familiar faces in this movie, those being Barry Bostwick (playing captain Ahab) and Renée O'Connor (playing Dr. Michelle Herman). Now why they agreed to do this movie is beyond me, but hey, who am I to question Hollywood celebrities? Usually Bostwick and O'Connor appear in sort-of-alright movies and TV series, but this? ... The cast in the movie was actually decent enough, despite the lack of any major blockbuster names. And most people also put on adequate performances, though there was a lot of times where you could see that the people didn't fully have their hearts in the movie.

As for the dialogue, well it was adequate, though at times kind of strained to witness.

This take on the Moby Dick story is one that should be bagged and tagged and not really talked about again. It was not a good attempt at it, in my honest opinion. And truthfully, then I didn't even make it halfway through the movie. I couldn't stand the effects (or rather lack thereof) and the weak storyline. I gave up. But hats off to those actually managing to sit through the movie in its entire length.

Lets make make something clear, this is low budget. Whats worse is that any technical aspect that could possibly be wrong, IS wrong. A low budget is no excuse for not doing some basic research on the internet before you being production, its free after all.

We have navy officers wearing army field uniforms, we have have a one legged submarine captain and and helicopter attacking a submerged nuclear submarine with a machine gun, and doing enough damage to make the 400feet sub shake like it was being depth charged!

All the special effects and animations looks like they transfered in from the eighties and and most of the sets are awful as well. The ultramodern submarine looks like a run down Russian factory on the inside, and the instrumentation seems borrowed from a lesser Sci-Fi production.

So why did I still give it a 4? Well I managed to sit through the movie. I'll admit that I was desperately bored, but still. The acting is not as horrible as you might expect, but still far from anything memorable. And the basic story is not hopeless either, with a large studio this might have become an OK film on par with godzilla or king kong. However any similarities with the original book are nowhere to be seen, besides the big whale and the obsessed captain that is.

The 4 I gave it is being generous, but I have seen movies that are worse, and still scored higher on IMDb.

At this point in time, Asylum movies are among the worst in all of creation. You don't get to be this bad without effort.

Anyone watching this movie in the hopes that it will be anything more than a cheap sucker-punch at the classic novel Moby Dick will be disappointed in the worst way. If you were expecting a remotely plausible story with reasonably capable actors and even some worthwhile special effects, then you should have never watched a movie made by Asylum. You are very behind on the times if you don't know that Asylum doesn't do that sort of thing.

It is soul-crushingly bad. It's like watching despair. So much so that I'm beginning to suspect that they are doing it on purpose. Nothing else could possibly explain how they can relentlessly churn out terrible movie after terrible movie, with absolutely no shame. I'm truly starting to believe that Asylum is in fact dedicated to the less-than-noble cause of making their mark as the worst movie making company in history. All of the things that a good movie needs will never be found in an Asylum motion picture. They need a trophy for epic failure in movie making.

But it's not all bad. Asylum is definitely good at one thing: Making movies so bad that they mysteriously 180-themselves into something good. This movie didn't really succeed at that, but it did have some very entertaining moments. The "special effects" are notably radical; certain scenes with the whale literally caused me to slip out of my chair laughing, and the look on the doctor's face nearly caused me to have a stroke (watch it and you'll see what I mean). For that reason alone I'm giving the movie a 2 instead of a 1.

This take on the classic literary masterpiece Moby-Dick does not deserve to be even mentioned in the same sentence. Herman Melville is turning in his grave right now. Just about the only thing that's related to the book are the names of the characters. The story is set in a present day submarine, features some of the worst acting imaginable, grade school quality production, and just about the worst script.

And the worst part about it is that it takes itself seriously. I am sure it will quickly make it's way to IMDb's bottom 100. I am just happy I didn't waste any money on this pile of crap.

When I first heard people criticizing this movie, I wrote them off as the typical whiners that accompany the release of any outrageously far-fetched monster movie. Of course whales can't grow to the size 2 football stadiums, and of course they can't snatch helicopters out of the air--that's why it's fiction! It's precisely this outrageous scale and the novelty of seeing the impossible that makes these films so entertaining and thrilling. However, this time the criticism proved to be 100% deserved.

Sci-fi B movies have their place in my heart. And I actually quite enjoyed Peter Benchley's "The Beast" and its epic portrayal of a giant man-eating squid. That was a made-for-TV movie from 1996; fourteen years later, we have "2010: Moby Dick". But although CGI has made huge leaps in the intervening years and no doubt costs far less these days, Moby Dick's special effects are still laughably bad in comparison. They simply come off as cheap and very rushed.

To be fair, the whale itself, although a bit too shark-like IMO (as seen in the movie poster), isn't all that bad. It's not the best CG ever, but it's respectable for a low-budget movie. However, much of the supporting special effects used throughout the movie is very poorly done, with no attention to detail.

For example, we've all seen underwater explosions on TV and in movies. When something blows up under water, the explosion has a very distinct look: there's cavitation, a bright flash, and lots of gas bubbles. Not in Moby Dick though... In Moby Dick, the underwater explosions are simply dry explosions taken from stock footage sloppily overlaid on top of a poorly rendered underwater scene. The result is an entirely unrealistic effect that precludes audience engagement in the story. I mean, there are Xbox games that have more convincing underwater action sequences.

Another example of the sloppy effects in this movie involves a scene in which a dead "school of squid" are supposedly being shown floating to the ocean surface--that's what is described in the dialog at least. But instead we're shown a shot of the ocean overlaid with blurry blown-up photos of 2 enormous-sized squids. And not only are the squids very poorly pasted into the scene (imagine a really bad Photoshop job), but as the camera pans (being shot from a moving helicopter), the squid cut- outs move completely out of sync with the background (the ocean surface). No attempt is made to synchronize the squid overlays with the camera movements or the corresponding perspective changes. And it's scenes like these that make the film look so amateurish and cheesy. You might expect this from a local cable access program or a Conan O'Brien skit, but not a feature film.

Sadly, as the movie intensifies and the stunts get ever more outrageous, the effort made by the filmmakers and special effects team seem to decrease. By the end of the movie, when the audience ought to be sitting on the edge of their seats, gripped by the explosive action as they approach the big finale, they're instead completely detached from the on-screen action, the sloppiness of the film having worn away any suspension of disbelief they had. So when the big finale does come, they're no longer emotionally invested in the characters or plot enough to care.

Although Barry Bostwick delivers an impassioned performance as Captain Ahab, Renee O'Connor (Gabrielle from TV's Xena), the female lead, is unconvincing in her role as a marine biologist. And for good measure, a few peripheral military characters also deliver some spectacularly bad acting during their few seconds on screen.

This is just a really shoddily made movie. There's no other way to put it. It would have been better had they cast Jack Black as Ahab and turned it into an intentionally cheesy comedy/spoof. However, this movie tries to take itself seriously and aims to be a big action monster movie, but the production team clearly weren't willing to make the effort for it to work.

I don't believe in such a thing as being untalented, just laziness and sloppiness. And that's what killed this movie. The sad part is, most of the problems don't seem to be budget related, and the individuals involved are clearly capable of producing quality work if they simply paid more attention to detail and set higher standards.