I Hate Luv Storys

...then don't bother.

First, the actors. Sonam Kapoor has the IQ of a paper bag. And that's when I'm drunk enough not to notice. It's so bad it actually shows anytime she's not flashing her perfect whites. First day in acting school: Don't make it look like you're acting. Looks like someone was absent. Imran Khan showed great promise in Jaane tu... Here he's a clichéd wannabe. The jokes are forced and everything else seems artificial. What the fungus, dude?

Second, the premise. Confused Boy + Girl. Confused Girl + Boy. And every single love story platitude thrown in the middle. That with the grating self promotional music everywhere. We get it, Mr. Johar, you're a fan. Of yourself.

Third, the bulls***. Do you really meet on strategically placed rocks every time you need to have a serious relationship talk? And Raj, are you FRIGGIN' BLIND? Also, why are beautiful women (read:Giselle) so irritating? Is there a law?

I'm a little sad that the quality of Indian Cinema has dropped to this level. I wish they'd start putting in a little more intelligence in their movies over simple polish. Would love to sit through a movie that didn't make me want to strangle defenseless rabbits in slow motion.

2 out of 10. 1 for the fat guy with the sexist humour.

Brace yourself for one of the biggest Bollywood chick-flicks in recent history. Although I seriously doubt how many chicks will really like this movie!!!

First of all, I'm not sure if this movie was intended to be a parody of all the classic Bollywood love stories or that is just wanted to use the clichés for the entertainment factor. I cannot understand that when the lead pair is good looking young and reasonably talented, why would the director not put more effort into making an original love story? We have been subjected to Hollywood rip offs for so long.....but seriously Mr Director, Bollywood rip offs are in no way better!!! For heavens sake, let the classics remain classics. With the exception of the opening scenes of the film which revive memories of some of the hit love stories of the past (DDLJ, Dil Kehta Hai and Hum Tum), I didn't see the point of making any further reference to past movies. The director has tried to humorously incorporate all the clichés of the great Bollywood love stories and tried to give it a modern twist (as in Om Shanti Om)......but unfortunately, there is nothing new or "different" about this movie. It just didn't work.

Sonam is as cute as a button. She is surely one of the most beautiful actresses we have in our industry today. Her character however is silly and superficial. Imran is cool and can easily pass of for the playboy types but he seriously needs to learn how to emote. He does well in the scenes where he is supposed to be cool and funny but when the time comes for him to profess his love, he might as well be talking to a wall! I hope he takes some tips from his famous "maamu". I wish I could say that I loved the chemistry between the lead pair....but I would be lying through my teeth. And please, what was with Soman's loser BF always color coordinating his clothes with her?? Is that supposed to indicate the depth of love or something?? The trait of a good director is to put his/her point across without being ridiculous in the process!

The reason I gave this movie 5 stars (I am being extremely generous here) is because I think both Sonam and Imran look great and have the potential to be good actors, some of the humorous dialogues were original, the music of the film is hummable, Imran's fat friend was funny at times and the cinematography was generally good.

To begin with I would like to mention all the young and energetic names associated with this movie. First of its reputed banner of Karan Johar, who himself is known as a Master of Love Stories. Secondly, it is directed by a debutant young director, Punit Malhotra, who is the nephew of famous fashion designer Manish Malhotra. And then it has the two most energetic & talented names, Imran Khan & Sonam Kapoor who look adorable as a couple on the screen. So obviously, one is forced to expect something new, fresh and novel in terms of content from a talented ensemble like this.

But shockingly, what is served is neither something new nor it has any kind of fresh or innovative treatment given by the director to captivate his audience. Very unexpectedly the film is as predictable as the night coming after the day. In straight words, the only USP of the movie is its fresh paring of the lead actors and thats it.

Before the intermission, the proceedings are cute and the sequences are fine but you simply keep watching them only because you are expecting something new to unfold on the screen any moment. But nothing happens of that sort and post interval the film moves on to the same ages old path of realizing the mistakes and returning to the lady love as usual. However the director does throw few funny one liner dialogues and some comic sequences to give you the much required relief at regular intervals. But that's really not enough for the hungry viewers who were expecting a lot from this big movie.

Talking about the storyline, you can easily guess it by only looking at its various posters for a while. The plot of hatred (within a young couple working together) getting converted into love is known to the Indian Viewers as Rice in their daily meals.

Interestingly, both Imran Khan and Sonam Kapoor have only few releases to their credits till now and they are also known for their extremely choosy nature and rejection of scripts after their recent flops. But I simply couldn't understand that out of all the scripts being offered to them, why did they choose this particular one, which was only a rehashed version of many other HIT Love stories of the past and had nothing of its own as original. May be the director also convinced his producers on the basis of some new kind of treatment he had in mind for the over-used plot. But unfortunately, the fresh treatment is not visible on the screen in any frame and he completely misses the big opportunity given to him by the makers.

Coming to the other aspects of the film, it no doubt excels in its technical departments namely in its Styling, Cinematography, Production Values and the Soundtrack. But sadly, everything else takes a back seat if you have nothing to offer as far as the main content of the movie goes.

Imran Khan looks fine in both aspects of his character but again why did he agree to do a role quite similar to the one he had already done in "Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na". Sonam looks amazing on the screen and has a fresh magnetic power in her beauty. She performs well in her role of a Set Designer, but with not a single HIT in her career till now, she got to be extra cautious to choose her future projects after IHLS. Samir Soni, who plays a Bollywood director in the movie (resembling Sanjay Leela Bhansal's persona) is OK. Samir Dattani underplays it well playing Sonam's boyfriend. Aamir Ali as the HERO is impressive but Pooja Ghai as the HEROINE doesn't get enough lines or scenes. Ketaki Dave & Anju Mahendru too have nothing much to do in the screenplay. But out of the entire supporting cast, Bruna Abdullah and Kavin Dave (of "Sprite Commercial" fame) truly stand out. In reality, the most enjoyable scenes of the movie are the ones featuring Kavin Dave as Imran's friend.

Musically, IHLS holds the merit with few good numbers composed by Vishal-Shekhar, out of which the Title Track is surely the best. The Background score also proves its presence in the movie smartly.

Another engaging aspect of IHLS is that throughout its entire screenplay, the characters keep pointing towards some big names in a taunting way. The movie starts with the actual film clipping of the Three Khans and there are continuous references to Sanjay Leela Bhansali and his movies such as "Saawariya" & "Devdas". May be the writers were following the real life story of Sonam Kapoor and Ranbir Kapoor, who did actually worked as assistant directors to Sanjay Leela Bhansali, at the start of their careers. A particular scene also talks about Aamir Khan and his "Lagaan", along with a dialogue pointing towards his forthcoming home production "Peepli Live". And there are paintings and dance sequences used in the movie, similar to Karan Johar's "Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham".

But here the strange paradox is that even after sarcastically talking about all the big names and Hit movies in his film, the director Puneet Malhotra, himself comes out with a product which is quite mediocre in execution and content in comparison to all. In other words, a debutant director like him should have essentially worked on his own project first to prove his caliber, before making mockery of some reputed names of the Industry.

To sum up, if you can appreciate love stories made with the same seen before familiar moves and if you really rate the star-cast more important than the movie itself, then you may like IHLS. But for me it's a project which had some great potential only before its release. Sharing a common theme with the 2009 release "I Hate Valentine's Day", it comprises of only one visual treat and that's Sonam Kapoor alone.

The title plays up on how unbelievable love stories can get, and despite its ripping apart the classical romantic films by Dharma Productions and Yash Raj films in the opening, and throughout the film, ultimately this one proves to be quite hypocritical in a sense that it too cannot come to grips with its battle against cliché, and falls prey to the tried, tested and tired formula of a romantic comedy. As the saying goes, if you can't beat them, join them.

However it has its youthful, eye candy cast added to its advantage as it plods through its rather meandering and cumbersome plot, involving J (Imran Khan), a production assistant who has worked on countless of romantic films by hotshot director Veer Kapoor (Samir Soni), and Simran (Sonam Kapoor), who is employed under the same production umbrella. To J, work means a constant rolling of the eyes because he just doesn't subscribe to nor see the appeal of formulaic romantic movies, even if his employer is the best in the business. And for Simran it's just the reverse, feeling privileged to be part of movie magic, as she expounds her own blissfully perfect relationship with fiancé Raj (Sammir Dattani).

So begins the clash of the believer and the non-believer, made worst when J is ordered to be working under Simran who is the new art director for Veer's upcoming love saga, Pyar Pyar Pyar, which I have to admit that writer-director Punit Malhotra managed to weave in a film in production within a film, that drew nice touches of parallels between J and Simran's developing love affair, until the final act which somehow had to conform to hammed up clichés. On one hand, I thought it was quite brilliant to get the audience engaged through two levels, one which is the reality the characters live in, and the other the ultra-hyped film reality which exists in Pyar Pyar Pyar, with extremely over the top performances and delivery used to elicit plenty of laughter, especially from fans of Bollywood romances.

We'd expect the usual clash of the opposites, where J the non-committal playboy unwittingly turns on his charm on the on-the-way-to-blissful-marriage Simran, who by the time the interval rolled by, is at odds with wanting to settle down with the man she thought will provide that level of stability through routine, or someone who's more of the livewire even if you started out hating the guts of the person? The story seems to play on the theme of close proximity having that big a role to play in demolishing stability, and like all nicely crafted clichés which you can see coming from a mile away, J and Simran inevitably fall in love, which takes one of them by surprise, leading to plot development reserved for after the interval.

If not for the young film starlets as the leads, it'll be quite hard to imagine how love can make them do silly things, with plenty of assumptions drawn up that the characters inevitably fall for. Nothing new gets added to the flavour of the story, and while it doesn't stand out, it also doesn't fall flat on its face as well, making this a simple, breezy romantic tale to sit through. Imran Khan pulls through his J quite effortlessly, since I suppose the easy-going, good natured guy is almost always easier to play as opposed to Sonam Kapoor's emotional Simran, who has ample opportunity to show her acting chops in what's only her third major role in her film career, compared to contemporary peers such as Ranbir Kapoor, or even Deepika Padukone.

Perhaps the only thread of interest here to sustain your attention will be the numerous film references from dialogues to sets and even downright spoofs, or if you're the incurable romantic, then yes, this film will be right up your alley.

'I hate luv story' seems like to make an attempt to make a cool film but it fails certainly. It has the same old story with no exceptions. A boring story can sometimes be compensated by good performances but it is not the case with IHLS. I was waiting for the film but it disappointed me. Some scenes specially seems like to be shot in a hurry. Scenes where Imran proposes Sonal were executed badly. Dialogue delivery was below average. Direction was average. I think Imran took it more casually as he can do better for sure. Sonal's acting was OK. With all these negative points, there were a few good comic dialogs and some good songs. That is it. Overall an average flick. I can say I hate I hate love stories.