Sentinel

I have a REALLY low bar for poor films. This one slipped under it with a lot of room to spare.

First of all, the plot was unfathomable. If a highly advanced civilization of aliens conquered earth, wouldn't they, I dunno, take a peak at the moon to see if there were any hairless apes hanging on up there? Not to mention how the moon seems to have the same gravity as earth.

Next the acting. Abysmal. I have nothing to add except, et tu Michael Pare?

Now the production values. The camera movements, cut away, and other shots were reminiscent of a 1970s television show. From Bulgaria.

The special effects made me laugh out loud. Explosions looked like a a child used a yellow highlighter on 8mm film stock. Worst of all was the evil Sentinel. It's as if they realized the budget was shot so they ran down to Spirit Halloween store and put the head from an Alien on the body of a Creature From The Black Lagoon costume.

My only wish is that MST3000 was still around for this one.

For all that is holy, someone must stop the sequel.

I don't even know where to begin reviewing this dreck. There's really no story here, just a bunch of illogical, poorly written, poorly acted disjointed scenes filled with gibberish dialog. If I didn't know better, I would wager this was written by some sixth graders as a joint class assignment. This film was literally all over the place. It's like it couldn't even decide what genre of filmmaking to which it wanted to belong. It's part sci-fi, part zombie apocalypse, part horror, part drama, part action flick and part comedy (although the comical parts I sure weren't written to be funny) and sadly, it FAILS miserably in every category. I really tried to give it a chance but after suffering through almost exactly half of this train wreck I just had to turn it off.

Within the first five minutes of watching this movie, it becomes painfully clear that it is a subpar production. As it progressed, it only continued to deteriorate. The writing is especially problematic; it's cheesy, incoherent, and feels as though it could have been generated by ChatGPT. The acting does little to redeem the script, often coming across as forced and unconvincing. Moreover, the production quality is shockingly poor, with special effects that look less convincing than those seen in many TikTok videos. The graphics are particularly disappointing, adding to the overall sense that the film was hastily and carelessly put together. In every aspect-from the storyline to the technical execution-this movie fails to meet even the most basic standards of filmmaking, making it a frustrating and unenjoyable viewing experience.

Just the other day I saw a movie that was so bad, I gave it one star. At the time, I never would have guessed I'd see another terrible movie so soon. It's like the gods of cinema are punishing me for not turning off the TV and getting out of the house more often.

This was complete trash. Poor acting, writing, direction, sets, score, cinematography... You name it, and this film failed. Even Michael Pare couldn't raise this above 1 star, and he typically adds at least a little something to the many B-movies he's made. (Though this isn't even a B-movie, it's a Z-movie. No, it's a ZZZZZZ-movie.)

I won't go into specifics, but believe me, even if I did, I wouldn't have to mark this as "spoilers" because there is absolutely nothing I this film that I could spoil more than was already spoiled by the folks behind this trash.

Do NOT waste your time, please!!! I say this as a friend. True, I don't know you, but I'll temporarily become your friend just so I can warn you to stay away.

"Sentinel 2024" is a train wreck from start to finish. What was marketed as a groundbreaking sci-fi epic is nothing more than a tedious, uninspired mess. The plot is a convoluted jumble of half-baked ideas and lazy writing. Instead of weaving a compelling narrative, the movie stumbles through a series of disjointed scenes that make little sense and leave the audience confused and bored.

The characters are so poorly written that it's hard to care about any of them. The protagonist is wooden and devoid of any charisma, making it impossible to root for their success. The supporting cast is equally terrible, with performances that range from over-the-top to utterly lifeless. It's as if the actors themselves were aware of how dreadful the script was and gave up trying.

Visually, the movie is an eyesore. The special effects look like they were pulled straight out of a low-budget TV show from the early 2000s. Instead of creating a believable futuristic world, the CGI is laughably bad and often distracts from whatever semblance of story there is.

The pacing is a disaster. The film drags endlessly with pointless scenes that add nothing to the plot, and by the time it reaches its climax (if you can call it that), any interest you might have had is long gone. The ending is rushed and unsatisfying, capping off an already miserable experience.

The dialogue is excruciatingly bad. Characters spout lines that are meant to be profound or witty but come off as cringe-inducing and nonsensical. The attempts at humor fall flat, and any attempts at drama are undermined by the sheer incompetence of the script.

"Sentinel 2024" is an unmitigated disaster. It's hard to imagine how anyone involved thought this would be a good movie. Do yourself a favor and avoid this film at all costs. It's not just a bad movie; it's an insult to the sci-fi genre and to anyone who had the misfortune of watching it.