Happy New Year

What? It's not a sequel to Valentine's Day? 

Let's be honest here. There was absolutely NO reason to make this movie. Well, maybe one: money. During a viewing of this excruciatingly painful melo-dramedy, one will find absolutely no artistic value, underlying message, or actual creative backbone. This film is just an excuse to slap a couple of famous face in front of the same camera, within the same period of time. You know what that's called on the set of a good movie? Bad casting. 

I can't believe someone made the same mistakes that were made just a year or two ago! When I first saw the poster, I thought "Is this a  parody?". But then I saw who was directing this prick of a film. 

Garry Marshall: Probably the single most desperate man in America. I am convinced that his last and final wish (let's be honest, he's not exactly in his twenties) is to meet as many famous people as he can; and what does that leave the helpless moviegoers with? The atrocities that were (and still are) Valentine's Day and New Years Eve. 

Looking for a fun holiday film to put a spring in your step, and a sparkle in your smile? Then spend your ten bucks elsewhere, because this movie is not worth the dough. 

The whole thing is a jumbled mess of popular actresses of today, and a few familiar faces that we all know. Then of course your Ashton Kutcher and your Jessica Biel who insist upon us that "Yes look, we're still famous! We promise!" 

Well I don't need it. I don't need it, and I encourage everyone to stray far away from this badly written, far-fetched, soap cushion of a love story that sincerely wants to be literally everything that it's not. It's a drama for people who don't like dramas, a comedy for people who don't like comedies, and a romance for people who don't like romance. Not worth a second of your time.

Films like Garry Marshall's New Year's Eve are hard to talk about in terms of story because this one has so many different stories weaving in and out of the narrative. This one is like Crash many different characters weaving and out of the film and no real central story. In fact the appearance of characters from one story in another film is tangential almost coincidental.

If I had to pick a favorite of any of the stories it would be the reporter story with the reporter Hillary Swank and the man who makes it all happen Hector Elizondo. Apparently Hector is one special maintenance man who is in charge of that Times Square ball that marks the coming year the world over. You'd think we'd all be stuck in the previous year if Hector does not keep the ball in working order. Anyway it gets stuck on the way up to come down and Hector's been laid off. Swank is the one who has to send out a clarion call so New Year's Eve can reach its climax officially. But Hector has his pride and this sequence easily outranks the others.

Michelle Pheiffer has an interesting sequence when she walks out of her job with an arrogant boss and has a New Year's Eve with messenger boy Zac Efron that promises to rock their worlds. Life ends for dying cancer patient Robert DeNiro and begins for new mother Jessica Biel at midnight. Someone I think is trying to give us a subtle hint about reincarnation there.

Jon Bon Jovi gets to play a rocker like Jon Bon Jovi the central attraction of New Year's Eve the way Guy Lombardo used to be. And New Year's Eve threatens to be a bummer for Ashton Kutcher and Lea Michelle trapped in an elevator.

Gary Marshall may have tried for a grand-slam with all the stars he managed to fit into this urban panorama. But he got a double with runs scoring with New Year's Eve.

After his last holiday-themed box-office smash Valentine's Day in 2010, director Garry Marshall has carbon-copied the exact same formula for his latest film New Year's Eve which uses its gigantic ensemble cast to document various different relationships and states of emotions over the course of a single day and night in New York City.

The story lines include: a couple awaiting the birth of their child, two people who become trapped together in an elevator and a gentleman who is trying to enjoy his last New Year's Eve on earth as he sadly lays on his deathbed.

Much like Valentine's Day, Marshall's latest film seems to forget the importance of character development and indeed sure-footed narrative; these films feel like the audience are watching Ashton Kutcher flirt with Lea Michele, or Zac Efron helping Michelle Pfeiffer, which – in all honesty – they are. Never are viewers able to break away from the celebrities portraying these supposed characters, which cause great issues when trying to build and present emotion.

The film also has some bizarre cast members, including the incredibly pointless Jon Bon Jovi who slinks about, and may as well be promoting a new Greatest Hits album when he enters the frame. Stars like Halle Berry and Robert De Niro are incredibly redundant here, even though they do benefit from moderate screen-time. Performers like De Niro are worthy of a solid script and something more important to do rather than just stand around holding a theoretical sign saying 'And Robert De Niro'.

Contrary to the opinion of the majority of critics (or males), 'Valentine's Day' was yes fluffy, gooey and forgettable two hours, but also entertaining. It did try very slightly to be different – with a gay romance amongst other things – and whilst this was all still "Hollywood", there were far worse movies released in 2010.

To be fair to 'New Year's Eve', it is not amongst the worst of the year. This might be due to the fact that most of the audience had or have extremely low expectations upon arrival. Expecting a film to be bad makes it all the less painful if the final product is indeed poor and consequently, makes it seem much better than it truly is if a viewer is not disappointed.

'New Year's Eve' felt mechanical and forced, a project merely designed for profit – there is no love nor compassion, no credibility nor realism. This is rather a 118 minute tourist video about how wonderful The Big Apple is, and how beautiful the people who reside in it are. Throw in disgusting amounts of product placement and an old rock star, and hey, you've got a $100 million motion picture! Spend your £8 at the cinema this Christmas on a film that gives like 'Hugo' rather than this, and save the holiday romances for 'Love Actually' on DVD with the family or partner.

Verdict: •• It is better if Marshall does not attempt to make another movie about a commercial holiday again. If we see a trailer with Kutcher dressed as the Easter Bunny for love next year, run for your life.

For more The Upcoming reviews http://www.theupcoming.co.uk/category/culture/cinema/

There were so many stars in this film that it felt like a Hollywood casting office. This film was a jumble of story lines that somehow crashes together in the end. I really like all the actors in the film, but the film itself lacked substance. I think that director Garry Marshall took it a little too far when he got Matthew Broderick to make a cameo appearance as Mr. Buellerton. Really, Garry? This film reminds me of the other slapped together film that Garry directed (Valentine's Day). What happened to the brilliance that Garry displayed in films like Pretty Women and Beaches? There were a lot of Oscar-winning actors in this film such as Hillary Swank (Claire Morgan), Robert De Niro (Stan Harris), Halle Berry (Nurse Aimee) and Michelle Pfeiffer (Ingrid). I know that these people did not need a paycheck, so why would they want to add this film to their resume? Ashton Kutcher (Randy) is a man who hates New Year's Eve (as we can tell from the trailer). I think he hates New Year's Eve because he read the script. And another thing…. Why was Ashton wondering around New York City in his pajamas? I've been to New York City in the winter and this is not even close to being believable. I do have to make a comment about Sarah Jessica Parker's character, Kim. I can understand her having a teenage daughter, but what I cannot understand is the inappropriate love interest she ends up with. He is much too young for her (but who am I to talk – smile). I love SJP from way back from her Sex In The City days, but come on!!! The only character that was slightly believable was Hailey (Abigail Breslin), who acted pretty much like a typical teenager. The rest of the story lines were just pure nonsense. Emma's daughter-in-law brought her baby to the film and he slept through the whole thing. I felt like I could have done the same thing. I hate to say it (not really) but the best parts of this film were the outtakes at the end of the movie. If you feel like you need to see this film, I recommend that you wait until it comes out on DVD and rent it. I am not celebrating and I refuse to do a count-down for this film and am giving it a red light.

I admit I didn't see New Year's Eve in a theater, where I might have resented spending the money. I saw it on TV and for what it was - a holiday movie, I thought it was cute.

Okay, I'm a sap. I've read the reviews here. I didn't find the story lines a jumble at all. This is a feel-good film with expected endings and so what? I for one do not want to be made miserable around the holidays when I'm already sad because so much of my family is gone.

There were also complaints about the cast - too many stars. So what? All-star casts have been around since 1931. Hillary Swank, Zach Efron, Robert de Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry, Katherine Heigl, Bon Jovi, Lea Michele, Ashton Kutcher, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jessica Biel, Carla Gugino, Seth Meyers, and Sofia Vergara.

The film is episodic, about happenings in New York City on New Year's Eve: Swank is responsible for getting the ball to drop at midnight; de Niro is a dying man who wants to go on the hospital roof to see the ball drop; two couples want to have their babies at midnight and win $25,000; Katherine Heigl comes face to face with Bon Jovi, who dumped her the year before; Michelle Pfeiffer is a secretary who leaves her job and asks Zach Efron to fulfill her bucket list; Lea Michele and Ashton Kutcher are stuck in an elevator; etc.

"New Year's Eve" is an old-fashioned film, the kind you would see in the '50s. It's not Citizen Kane and it's not supposed to be. It seems to me that many people on IMDb are incredible snobs, sorry, and don't understand simple entertainment and taking a movie for what it is instead of what it isn't. You didn't know George Bailey would come out okay in "It's a Wonderful Life"? You didn't know they'd pull off honoring the general in "White Christmas"? I'm not sure what the problem is. I want predictable around the holidays. For those of you who wanted the ball to blow up and kill everyone at the end of the movie, you'll need to watch something else.